Austin, TX - During a stunning display of driving ability this afternoon, James F. Harrison pulled into a convenience store parking lot and parked his 2004 Ford F-150 safely in a parking space, missing the convenience store itself by a good 15 feet.
ANNAPOLIS, MD -- In an inspiring yet confusing speech this afternoon, Governor Martin O'Malley outlined his new tax proposal, designed to eradicate the state's huge budget deficit. The governor's plan, described by some as "inane,&q...
Eugene, OR - The University of Oregon is making a ripple this week in the PAC-10 pond. Due to insistent pressure from the school's alumni association, the university has funded a commission to select a new mascot for the school's many sports...
Pyongyang, North Korea - At an informal press conference/luncheon yesterday, North Korea unveiled its newest automobile, the Plutonium. The car is named after the highly radioactive chemical element with which most of the chassis and frame are const...
Gainesville, FL - Dr. Morton Engle made waves in the medical community when he released the findings of his latest research study during an impromptu press conference yesterday. The University of Florida biology professor has spent the past decade s...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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