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Funny story: Apple Announces New Rainbow-Shitting Unicorn

Apple Announces New Rainbow-Shitting Unicorn

San Francisco, CA - Apple Inc. today announced the next generation of their rainbow-shitting unicorn, the "New Rainbow-Shitting Unicorn." The name surprised the entire unicorn-blogging world after wide speculation that the latest Rainbow-Shitting...
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Funny story: Santorum Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House

Santorum Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House

Detroit, MI - Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum unveiled his plan to move himself and his family into a "uterus of a suitable size and structure" if elected president. He made the announcement during a speech at a Detroit go-kart ma...
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Funny story: Romney Plans to Install Dog Carrier on Top of Air Force One

Romney Plans to Install Dog Carrier on Top of Air Force One

Joint Base Andrews, MD - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his plan to install a customized dog carrier on the top of Air Force One if elected president. Romney was seen speaking with mechanics at the hanger that houses...
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Funny story: Gingrich Proposes Term Limits on Marriage

Gingrich Proposes Term Limits on Marriage

Detroit, MI - Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich today announced a controversial plan to place term limits on marriage. During a campaign stop in Detroit, Gingrich was overheard telling an attractive blonde female supporter that if e...
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Funny story: Obama Wins Republican Presidential Primary

Obama Wins Republican Presidential Primary

Washington D.C. - President Barack Obama has won the 2012 Republican presidential primary. This marks the first time in U.S. history that a member of the Democratic Party has won the presidential primary for the Republicans. It also marks the first t...
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Funny story: Republicans Change Symbol from Elephant to Really Old Bigot

Republicans Change Symbol from Elephant to Really Old Bigot

Washington D.C. - In what many are calling a sign of the Republican Party's desperation, Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus today announced that the long standing symbol of the Republican Party, the elephant, is being replaced by a...
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Funny story: Santorum Denies Criticizing Gays, Claims He Said "Humus Chemicals"

Santorum Denies Criticizing Gays, Claims He Said "Humus Chemicals"

Concord, NH -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has again found himself in hot water, just days after controversy over his remarks about blacks and welfare. This time the controversy was due to comments he made during a stump speech in...
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Funny story: Republicans Demand Osama Bin Laden's Long Form Death Certificate

Republicans Demand Osama Bin Laden's Long Form Death Certificate

WASHINGTON - Immediately following the announcement by President Obama that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, Republicans around the nation demanded Bin Laden release his original long form death certificate. "I'm not going to believe this until Bi...
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Funny story: Obama Releases Original Nebraska Birth Certificate

Obama Releases Original Nebraska Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON - In response to countless claims from critics, President Barack Obama on Wednesday revealed his original, long form, detailed Nebraska birth certificate in an extraordinary attempt to finally bring to end the issue of where he was born an...
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Funny story: Republicans Vote to Repeal Egypt

Republicans Vote to Repeal Egypt

WASHINGTON D.C. - Republican lawmakers on Thursday voted to repeal the country of Egypt from the world for "causing too much trouble." Rep. Boehner held up a globe, pointed to what he thought was Egypt (but was actually Antarctica) and proposed le...
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Funny story: Tea Party Budget Cuts Include Repealing Gravity

Tea Party Budget Cuts Include Repealing Gravity

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Tea Party routinely campaigns on cutting the size of government, and statements made by elected tea party members now show us just how they plan on doing so. With Washington talking about various proposals to reduce the defic...
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Funny story: Oprah Reveals She is Obama's Birth Father

Oprah Reveals She is Obama's Birth Father

Chicago, IL - Oprah Winfrey announced to the world that she is Barack Obama's birth father. Winfrey had been running advertisements referencing a huge family secret that she says, shook her to her core, and today she revealed that she is the biol...
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Funny story: Obama Appoints Czar-Czar

Obama Appoints Czar-Czar

WASHINGTON -- The Obama administration today named Mr. William Stokes, as its czar on czars to police the many czars in the administration. Meanwhile, Republicans urged new laws to impose limits on the number of czars the President may appoint in...
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Funny story: Unemployed Workers to Deliver Bailout Funds

Unemployed Workers to Deliver Bailout Funds

The United States Government announced today that it is speeding up delivery of bailout funds to the poorest banks hard hit by the economic crisis. The plan calls for newly unemployed workers to deliver these funds as quickly as possible to these ail...
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Funny story: Uncle Sam Wins Lottery, Will Pay for Bailout

Uncle Sam Wins Lottery, Will Pay for Bailout

Washington DC - In a strangely coincidental stroke of luck, the United States Government's Uncle Sam purchased a winning Powerball ticket worth $701 billion. The Delaware Lottery has confirmed one ticket matching all six numbers including the Powe...
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Funny story: Palin to Charge War Widows for Caskets

Palin to Charge War Widows for Caskets

Washington DC - Alaska Gov. and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin will require widows and widowers of deceased service men and women to pay for their loved one's caskets. The Department of Defense has requested that Congress work...
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Funny story: Palin Promises to Sell White House on eBay

Palin Promises to Sell White House on eBay

San Antonio, TX - Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin today announced plans to put the White House up for auction on eBay should she and John McCain win in November. Palin announced the plans to a shocked crowd at a San Antonio Tex...
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Funny story: Armstrong Vows to Get American Hero Title Back from Phelps

Armstrong Vows to Get American Hero Title Back from Phelps

Lance Armstrong today announced that he is returning to the world of cycling as well as inventing a new sport that will allow him to "own" Michael Phelps. Armstrong has apparently heard enough about Phelps and wants to return to his "throne" as "Amer...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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