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Funny story: Obama Orders 300M Copies Of Birth Certificate

Obama Orders 300M Copies Of Birth Certificate

Washington, DC - At a press conference held in the White House West Wing, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has announced President Obama is going to address the concerns of birthers, and those sitting on the fence. "As I speak, President Obama is sign...
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Funny story: Hospital Installs DOG Scan Machine

Hospital Installs DOG Scan Machine

PHILADELPHIA - The Thomas Jefferson hospital here has installed the nation's first and only DOG scan unit. It was purchased from the Siemens DOG shelter in Leipzig, Germany. "Dis iss a great day fur Philadelphia. The DOG scan vill perfectly compl...
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Funny story: Teflondia And Souvlakia At War

Teflondia And Souvlakia At War

CAROTID - Barney Fyfe, Defense Minister of Teflondia, has announced that his country and Souvlakia have declared war on each other. At a press conference held here today in the capital of Teflondia, he said that troops were sent across the border to...
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Funny story: Drinking Age Lowered To Eleven

Drinking Age Lowered To Eleven

CHICAGO - At a meeting here of American college and university presidents, a motion was made and passed to lower the drinking age to 11. "At first the drinking age was 18. Then it was raised to 21, and caused a lot of resentment," stated Dr. Robe...
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Funny story: 'Architectural Digest' Features Black Hole Of Calcutta

'Architectural Digest' Features Black Hole Of Calcutta

CALCUTTA - Architectural Digest, the premier lifestyles magazine, is featuring the Black Hole of Calcutta in this month's edition. "We wanted to do a spread on 19th century life, especially in the Third World" explained Paige Smith, editor in chi...
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Funny story: Soapbox Derby Causes Hernia

Soapbox Derby Causes Hernia

AKRON - At the Soapbox Derby time trials held here today, Lazlo Toth, a twelve year old participant in the race suffered a double hernia when he attempted to push his racecar up an incline. Toth was taken to the Henry Ford Hospital by ambulance,...
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Funny story: Christian Photographer Renounces Cameras

Christian Photographer Renounces Cameras

WELCH - Billy Bob Simpkins, a Pentecostal Christian and photographer in this West Virginia coal-mining town, has said that he is renouncing cameras. "The good Lord will take all the pictures I need," he told this newspaper. He also said that he w...
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Funny story: Threenesia Declares Independence

Threenesia Declares Independence

TUNIS - The foreign minister of Tunisia, I' bin Farteen, has announced that the northeast corner of the country has broken off and declared independence. He said that section of Tunisia is now calling itself Threenesia. He added he was confident that...
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Funny story: Andorra, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Monaco Defense Pact

Andorra, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Monaco Defense Pact

MONTE CARLO - Lance Garibaldi, a spokesman for the Presidential Palace held a press conference here today, and announced the formation of LATO - the Leftovers Atlantic Treaty Organization. "Since we were not allowed to join NATO, we decided to fo...
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Funny story: Lion Goes Green

Lion Goes Green

WASHINGTON, DC - Leo, a spokesman for the Predators Liberation Organization (PLO) has announced that he has become a vegetarian. Leo has also said that he is encouraging other lions to join him, stating, "The future of the planet is at stake." He...
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Funny story: Austrian Imprisons Teddy Bear

Austrian Imprisons Teddy Bear

VIENNA - Police here have announced that they have discovered a teddy bear, which has been imprisoned in a bunker on the outskirts of Vienna.
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Funny story: New York Declares War On New Jersey

New York Declares War On New Jersey

ALBANY - At a press conference held here today in New York State's capital, Governor David Paterson announced that New York State has formally declared war on New Jersey.
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Funny story: 'Shopping News' Promotes Literary Editor

'Shopping News' Promotes Literary Editor

BALTIMORE - The Shopping News has promoted Sir John Smith to the newly created position of literary editor.
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Funny story: Call Girl Is Born Again

Call Girl Is Born Again

NEW YORK - Amber, an escort with the Diamond Dust Agency, wants the whole world to know she is born again.
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Funny story: Cat Plans Human Attack

Cat Plans Human Attack

BUFFALO - Snickers, a domestic shorthair, has said he is planning to attack the human who lives in the house, while he sleeps.
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Funny story: French Recording Has Satanic Message

French Recording Has Satanic Message

PARIS - The Reverend Fred Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church has announced that the phonoautograph recording of Au Claire De La Lune has a Satanic message, when played backwards.
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Funny story: Frosty Admits Drug Abuse

Frosty Admits Drug Abuse

NORTH POLE - In an interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Frosty The Snowman has admitted to abusing OxyContin, and being addicted to cocaine.
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Funny story: When You Vomit Fish, Vomit White Wine

When You Vomit Fish, Vomit White Wine

Hello dear readers. My name is Alexander Woolcott, and this is my inaugural column for advice on fine dining and etiquette.
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