Seattle, WA - Counter-culture icon Bob Dylan joined the ranks of other sixties-era sellouts today by agreeing to further the marketing agenda of mega-trendy four-dollar coffee retailer, Starbucks.
New York - Tom Cruise, who clashed with Today show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer brought up Cruise's earlier criticism of Brook Shields for taking anti-depressants, issued an apology today for his belligerent behavior from Hollywood.
Brooklyn, NY - Convicted corporate felon Dennis Kozlowski has apparently begun preparations for his inevitable stay in the New York State prison system. Enlisting advice from famed executive prison induction counselor and convicted felon, Curtis Way...
Baghdad, Iraq - Held in a US military compound awaiting trail for crimes against the people of Iraq, Saddam Hussein has been slowly warming up to Hollywood's version of American culture under the tutelage of US National Guardsmen.
Washington, DC - Once again, the nomination of John Bolton has been delayed by Democratic leaders bent on exposing the current undersecretary of state for arms control as having conflicting agendas. Bolton, who Senator Joseph Biden (D-Delaware) desc...
Washington, DC - Secret Service spokesperson Vanessa Star confirmed today that US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was a brief victim of identity theft last week. The confessed thief, Larry Greenwald of Roanoke, Virginia, voluntarily turned hims...
Philadelphia, PA -- Dan Brown, the controversial novelist that brought the world such blockbusters as The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, announced today that his latest novel will expose the "blatant homosexuality" practiced by th...
Woodbury Heights, NJ -- 95 year old John Taylor, former chairman of the 1950's-era model train producer Tyco, was arrested today at the Woodbury Heights Serenity Gardens Nursing Home in connection with the Tyco International fraud investigatio...
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United States Stupidity Quotient
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Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Kidnapped and Returned by the Russians
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