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Canadian Seal Clubbers Adrift

Funny story: Canadian Seal Clubbers Adrift

In a crises threatening the already strained relations of the United States, Canada and the United Nations, stranded Canadian baby seal clubbers remained adrift on a floating ice sheet for a fifth straight day. Humanitarian efforts to leave them out...

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Draft Dodgers Putin and Bush Swap Success Stories

What better place for a couple of guys who managed to never put their lives in danger than to joke around at a memorial for millions who did? "Its pretty ironic, isn't it?" laughed Russian fun boy Vlad. "Yeah, me and my buddy George made Commander in...

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Attorneys: Pvt. England Has "Pointer Dog Syndrome"

Funny story: Attorneys: Pvt. England Has "Pointer Dog Syndrome"

Pvt. England's Defense attorneys today disclosed one of the Army's most closely guarded secrets: the former Abu Ghraib clerk has "Pointer Dog Syndrome". Essentially, she has the mentality of a mediocre hunting dog and will point at anything. It was o...

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God Buys Doublewide in Odessa, Texas

Funny story: God Buys Doublewide in Odessa, Texas

Elated by the School Board vote to bring fundamentalist bible teachings to the public schools, God packed his bible, stuffed possum, and framed GED and moved to Odessa, Texas. Made famous by the deadly accurate depiction of red-neck buffoonery in the...

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Bush Compromise Averts Socialized History

Funny story: Bush Compromise Averts Socialized History

In a display of the masterful compromise and diplomacy that has characterized the Bush administration, the publishing and control of history books in the US will remain in the private sector, laden with government regulation and subsidies. "Modern hi...

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Bush Appoints Saddam Hussein to Rule Iraq

Funny story: Bush Appoints Saddam Hussein to Rule Iraq

In a long expected move, today President Bush announced he is appointing Saddam Hussein to take the reins of control in Iraq. Bush's desire to obtain Saddam's services for this extremely difficult job have long been known in Washington inner circles,...

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Bush, bin Laden, Praise Benadik XVI

Funny story: Bush, bin Laden, Praise Benadik XVI

Radical world leaders of all persuasions expressed joy and hope at the erection of Pope Benadik XVI. "Radicalism is definitely in" shouted an ecstatic Osama bin Laden. "Just when we feared that patience, understanding and listening to others was...

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Killer Carp Invade Blue States

Funny story: Killer Carp Invade Blue States

Genetically altered killer carp are suddenly turning up in the waters of all blue states, causing biologist to suspect they are agents of biological warfare sent to destroy all human life in the unpatriotic region. "They're big, they're bad, they're...

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Bush Gets Lay For Earth Day

Funny story: Bush Gets Lay For Earth Day

As expected, today President Bush appointed former Enron CEO Ken Lay as Chairman of national Earth Day activities. The details were worked out in a meeting of top energy advisors chaired by Dick Cheney, and of course these will never be disclosed. "E...

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Cardinals To Pick Pope, Make Beer Commercial

Funny story: Cardinals To Pick Pope, Make Beer Commercial

What do a bunch of guys do when they lock themselves in a room together for several days? "We ain't tellin'" laughs Cardinal Bakdoor, "but I can tell you that it just don't get no better than this! We're all buds, we share common interests, and boy d...

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Martha: Wisconsin People Bad Cat Chefs

Funny story: Martha: Wisconsin People Bad Cat Chefs

Martha Stewart will be entering court today in an attempt to get emergency permission to set up camp in Wisconsin. "Those people just can't cook cats" she'll reasoned, "and all that culinary opportunity will be wasted! Believe...

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Mike Tyson Signs With Temple University

Temple University basketball coach John Chaney today announced the signing of Mike Tyson to play basketball for the Owls. "Mike's a fine young lad," Chaney said, "and will lend maturity and inside strength to our young squad." The NCAA approved the a...

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Ariel Sharon New Miss Texas

Funny story: Ariel Sharon New Miss Texas

Ariel Sharon headed to Texas today to accept the only crown he's ever really wanted: Miss Texas. There was celebration throughout the state, as 80% of the populace gathered to embrace the new beauty queen, again proving that Texans will buy anything.

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Buick Dumps Tiger, Takes Wie

Funny story: Buick Dumps Tiger, Takes Wie

In a surprise move General Motors has announced the signing of 15-year-old golf phenom Michelle Wie to endorse their automobiles. She will replace present spokesman Tiger Woods, who recently assaulted a top advertising photographer taking still shots...

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Vatican Admits "Weekend At Bernie's" Influence

Funny story: Vatican Admits "Weekend At Bernie's" Influence

In an admission that was becoming obvious to the world, the Vatican finally acknowledged that their treatment of the deceased pontiff was indeed adapted from the popular movie "A Weekend At Bernies". The hit movie depicted two young men who's boss ha...

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Baez Rebuffs Fonda's Apology

Funny story: Baez Rebuffs Fonda's Apology

In a rare emergence from her self-imposed isolation of pissing and moaning about her unrequieted love for Dylan, Joan Baez has refused to accept the apology of spandex model Jane Fonda. "I was sitting in frikkin jail getting girl raped by Big Be...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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