Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Ethiopian Government officials explained to the international press earlier this week that the principle cause of the country's highest infant death rate in twenty years is due to ‘poor, sick and helpless babies'.
Washington, USA. Earlier this weekend the United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced plans to begin bombing the bad lands of popular fantasy: J R R Tolkien's Middle Earth. The plan comes in the wake of the NATO summit in Pra...
Cobham, Kent. Last Wednesday popularity listings for 15 Largo Road were released with speculations of who would lead as ‘top flatmate' and candidate for free pints in the union. The results were far from expected as 4th flatmate, Andrew Pars...
St. Andrews, Scotland. On Thursday Brian Land, president of the University of St. Andrews, happily announced that out-of-date halls were to be revolutionised during a drastic new scheme that replaces the old ‘backward', and ‘inefficient' hall...
Hope sprang eternal earlier this month when the weather set an unprecedented example of being sunny for longer than the average 3.2 hours. Still, meteorologists are warning Fife residents not to get ‘too comfortable' and should instead start thinkin...
Clapham Pool Hall, London. Pool and snooker fans everywhere sat in shock, when an over confident university student failed to perform a trick shot he had so incessantly believed he could. The 20 to 30 second silence left a pronounced change...
Brighton, UK. Labor Party Headquarter and the Prime Minister have formally announced that squirrels will be Tony Blair's candidates for the upcoming election in May 2005. The political stir was enacted yesterday as 7 former Labor squirrels we...
The FBI Computer Crimes Unit has presented its plans to global law enforcers to prevent the illegal use of person-to-person software to distribute ‘terrible music'.
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