After tonight's unsurprising vote of no-confidence in I.D.S. reports are that he fled Westminster long before the results came in, and is now flipping burgers and tossing the wieners in a hotdog stand in Wigan.
A lava lamp that has laid dormant for years has today erupted, taking countless lives and leaving thousands injured and without homes.
A woman with large breasts has been arrested today, following allegations of manslaughter due to her dangerously large bosom.
No less than 78 people spotted a flying pig in Durham yesterday. The event occurred at around 1:30pm and said pig continued to soar about for approximately an hour, much to the amazement of the crowd that gathered in awe.
David the makeup wearing (though fully heterosexual) squirrel has, today, successfully thwarted the evil plan of his arch enemy Dr. Evil Squirrel, who was attempting to gain access to the USA's nuclear missile launch codes.
Dr. Evil Squirrel (kno...
In what is being heralded as the most surprising move in any band's career, thrash metallers "Slipknot" have hired the talents of interior designer Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. Bowen, 36 is rumoured to be thrilled by the new prospect, and is already in t...
In an attempt to compromise with the demands being put forward in court by families of the prisoners being held there, US military officials are increasing the rights of all suspects at Guantanamo Bay, of which there are now in excess of 300.
Following up on last months exclusive report on the "branching out" of Linux mascot Tux the penguin, this privileged reporter has been shown official primary sketches of what has been confirmed as the replacement for Tux.
The character is a large-...
In a somewhat surprising move, boots the chemist have today introduced miniature jet engines into their small range of ladies' handbags. The engines are said to vary from a V6 to a V12, and also differ in their gearing - some are a mere single speed,...
In a surprising move, the linux mascot tux has announced today that he will be pursuing a career in the porn industry.
Beloved British olympic boxer Audley Harrison has been hospitalised today. Harrison was found in his hotel room early today, reportedly having taken of an overdose of popular energy drink Lucozade sport.
In a recent survey conducted by the UK mobile phone authority it has been revealed that mobile phones can, when thrown hard enough, inflict serious brain damage.
In what is continuing to become one of the most shocking and disturbing occurrences of the new millennium so far, refuse disposal technician and sci-fi writer Dan Collins (28) discovered that not all smarties, are the same size, in fact yellow smarti...
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