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Funny story: Last man who still finds The Lumberjack Song funny found living in his mother's basement

Last man who still finds The Lumberjack Song funny found living in his mother's basement

Croydon, England - An unemployed British man is believed to be the last person left alive to publicly admit that he still finds The Lumberjack Song funny. It was assumed that no one had found the 1969 song even remotely amusing for at least three dec...
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Funny story: Kevin Spacey's entire career declared invalid

Kevin Spacey's entire career declared invalid

Hollywood - Thousands of former Kevin Spacey fans have come out and declared that everything the Academy Award winning actor has ever done is not in fact brilliant after all but total garbage. "Up until a few days ago he was my favorite A-Lister,"...
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Funny story: Woman sues beta male lover for pretending to be alpha stud

Woman sues beta male lover for pretending to be alpha stud

Miami, FL - A one-night stand has ended in acrimony and legal action after a woman learned that the dangerous high-flying millionaire she slept with was in fact a lowly service clerk with mommy issues. "I haven't been so pissed off since the last...
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Funny story: Britain's homeless population relieved to hear Prince Philip still alive and well

Britain's homeless population relieved to hear Prince Philip still alive and well

Downtrodden vagrants all over the UK have breathed a collective sigh of relief to hear that one of their beloved overlords is still alive after rumours of his death spread like wildfire. "Thank goodness he's all right," said one emaciated wretch w...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt no longer hot enough to continue acting

Brad Pitt no longer hot enough to continue acting

Hollywood - Brad Pitt has revealed that he is no longer hot enough to be a Hollywood hunk and will therefore be shortly taken out behind a barn and shot. "We always knew this day would come," said Pitt's longtime publicist. "Brad is not aging wel...
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Funny story: Maggie Gyllenhaal caught bitching about losing role to older woman after calling out Hollywood's discrimination against older women

Maggie Gyllenhaal caught bitching about losing role to older woman after calling out Hollywood's discrimination against older women

Hollywood - Two years ago Maggie Gyllenhaal made headlines after being told that at 37 she was too old to play the love interest of a leading man in his fifties. Mature-aged actresses have long complained of ageism in an industry that consistently ov...
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Funny story: Police blasted over offensive language used to describe person who shot person in the head

Police blasted over offensive language used to describe person who shot person in the head

Sydney, Australia - Police have been blasted by critics for using what they say is blatantly insensitive language in a murder investigation. The language in question appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald, where a police report said a 'manhunt' was un...
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Funny story: Aging accountant just wants to be in a fight and win

Aging accountant just wants to be in a fight and win

NYC - 56-year-old certified accountant Jeremy Symonds has confessed that the one thing he really wants to do before he gets too old to do it is be in a fight and win. "I've had a great career with a top firm," said Symonds from the dining room of...
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Funny story: Masochistic satire writer looking forward to another year of indifference to his work

Masochistic satire writer looking forward to another year of indifference to his work

Seattle, WA - With 2017 in full swing, satirist Richard Collins is looking forward to another year of not making any money from writing articles for a minuscule audience. "It's really exciting," said the 42-year-old office worker. "January's no...
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Funny story: Woman loses job in high-end retail store for not being a big enough bitch

Woman loses job in high-end retail store for not being a big enough bitch

Beverly Hills - 23-year-old Amanda Carlisle has lost her job in a luxury lingerie store for failing to be bitchy enough to the customers. "Amanda did great in the interview," said supervisor Claire Marshall, "but once she hit the floor it became...
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Funny story: Jeremy Corbyn admits he's only in it for the chicks

Jeremy Corbyn admits he's only in it for the chicks

In a bizarre meltdown, British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has announced that he did not in fact get into politics to make a difference but to 'pull the birds.' Thrice-married Corbyn had just emerged from a vegetarian soup kitchen when he was ambu...
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Funny story: 43-year-old man still struggling with the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards

43-year-old man still struggling with the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards

New Haven, CT - 43-year-old stockbroker Martin Wells is in the grip of an annual anxiety attack from the strain of trying to grasp the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards. "I don't even want to get Christmas cards, let alone gi...
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Funny story: Man Fired for Being Too Nice to Co-workers

Man Fired for Being Too Nice to Co-workers

Sydney, Australia - Just three months into a new job at a government department and payroll officer Michael Flannery has been fired for being too nice to his co-workers. "Michael was such a friendly and supportive guy," said former colleague Danie...
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Funny story: Thousands protest against lack of advertising inside private homes

Thousands protest against lack of advertising inside private homes

Thousands of people all over the world have taken to the streets to demand that advertising saturation of public space be expanded to include private homes. "It's a disgrace," said one protester from Madrid. "Bad enough that society still has ad-f...
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda fears backlash after latest ISIS attack

Al-Qaeda fears backlash after latest ISIS attack

Kabul, Afghanistan - Islamic terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda has voiced fears of a backlash after Islamic terrorist organisation ISIS claimed responsibility for the latest attack in the United States, aka The Great Satan. "After the recent inciden...
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Funny story: Authorities say motive remains unclear for skinhead attack on synagogue

Authorities say motive remains unclear for skinhead attack on synagogue

Columbus, Ohio - Authorities are mystified as to why a man drove his car into a crowd of worshipers outside a synagogue then jumped out screaming "Heil Hitler!" and started hacking them up with a machete before being shot dead by a security guard.
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Breaking News...

Alabama's New State Motto

After Tuesday Alabama's state motto, Audemus jura nostra defendere ("We dare defend our rights"), will most likely be changed to Audemus pedophilium nostra defendere ("We dare defend our pedophiles").
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