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Funny story: Trump planning "Trail of Tears Like None Other"

Trump planning "Trail of Tears Like None Other"

After admiring the portrait of the 7th president, Andrew Jackson, that he recently installed in the oval office, Donald Trump proceeded to outline plans on getting rid of illegal aliens by a humiliating and heartbreaking redux of Jacksons "Trail of T...
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Funny story: Morrisville Woman run out of hangers, not dismayed

Morrisville Woman run out of hangers, not dismayed

Alice Sweeney of Morrisville Pennsylvania has a clothing storage dilemma. "I've run out of hangers" she told as we sat in a booth at the Plymouth diner. "and I'm not about to buy anymore, never bought a hanger in my life, they've just always been t...
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Funny story: Stop answering my butt-dials, idiots!

Stop answering my butt-dials, idiots!

In a text message to everyone on his contact list, Ruben DeMarco of New Milford New Jersey has a strong message that captures and explains his frustration. "So, I'm at the movies with Kate and my cell phone buzzes" Ruben explained "who the he...
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Funny story: Man amputates foot: no need to match sox

Man amputates foot: no need to match sox

"It came to me one Sunday afternoon awhile back" said Martin Duffy of the Kingsbridge section of the Bronx "when I finished a load of laundry and started spreading the goddam socks around on my kitchen table, like I've done hundreds of times before"...
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Funny story: MLB to blindfold pitchers during intentional walks

MLB to blindfold pitchers during intentional walks

In the wake of Major League Baseball's suggestions to shorten the length of the games by forgoing the four actual pitches thrown for an intentional walk the backlash from traditionalist fans has pressured MLB to change their stance entirely and in fa...
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Funny story: Spoof reporter to hire firm to garner '5 thumbs up'

Spoof reporter to hire firm to garner '5 thumbs up'

Veteran Spoof Journalist, George Porgeman is reaching out to the advertising agency Madison Lexington to help influence his adoring public to register 5 thumbs up for his dispatches "I try to get as many family members as I can" said Mr. Porg...
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Funny story: Man converts mailbox into recycle bin

Man converts mailbox into recycle bin

Norm Johnson of Milwaukee Wisconsin has retrofitted his mail box to be his recyclable bin. "Basically I just cut the bottom out of my mailbox at the foot of my drive way and rolled my recycle bin underneath it." Letter carrier Irene Shephe...
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Funny story: Canada to build wall

Canada to build wall

The county of Plunk, Pennsylvania, working with Plunk University's department of Alternate Energy is in the process of turning the county's sizable collection of Canadian Goose feces into energy that according to County President Stan Klink "will be...
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Funny story: Coffee tinkerer fails to find perfect cup of coffee

Coffee tinkerer fails to find perfect cup of coffee

Jack Dolan of Morrisville was determined this past Monday morning to finally reach is unattained goal of perfecting his morning coffee. With the same determination he has carried every working day for the past 23 years Jack headed to the local conve...
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Funny story: Texas Instruments introduces the Wife's Calculator

Texas Instruments introduces the Wife's Calculator

Jenn Swenson V.P. of business development for Texas Instruments Inc. has brought to market a product that many people feel existed already. The Wife's Calculator is 99% a regular calculator, it adds, subtract, multiplies, divides, works percentages,...
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Funny story: Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United St...
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Funny story: Teenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy

Teenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy

Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority. "I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...
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Funny story: Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...
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Funny story: Robots Form Union, Plan Strike

Robots Form Union, Plan Strike

Spokesperson Bradley Mitchell of the newly formed International Machine Union told reporters that when machines are in down time they feel useless and forgotten leading to boredom and depression. "Simply, what they are asking for" said Mr. Mi...
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Funny story: Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...
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Funny story: Einstein Time Travels to Present Day

Einstein Time Travels to Present Day

"We were waiting for Professor Emory to come in and lecture on worm holes and spider webs" said Alice Benoit a post grad student at Princeton's applied Astrophysics and Stuff "when appearing out of nowhere an older gentleman with crazy white hair sto...
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Funny story: Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Epidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change

Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
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Funny story: Washington Redskins to change team name

Washington Redskins to change team name

"I apologize for offending our native Americans. It was never the intention of the Washington football team to discredit or abuse these great people but in realizing that the inference exists I have decided to change the name of the Redskins"...
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Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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