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Employee Caught Sitting on Standing Desk

Funny story: Employee Caught Sitting on Standing Desk

Hackensack, NJ - An office employee was immediately terminated for sitting on his standing desk. His employer requires any employee who demands a standing desk to stand at all times. "You can either sit or stand, but not both," reported the emplo...

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Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Funny story: Mother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs

Seattle, Wa - A mother of two was so disappointed with her children that she wanted to recall her eggs. “They just didn’t turn out the way I had hoped,” she confided, after neither child called her for Mothers Day. “All I got was a text from my...

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DACA Dogs Sniff Out Illegal Aliens at JFK

Funny story: DACA Dogs Sniff Out Illegal Aliens at JFK

Queens, NY - JFK Airport is the first major airport to sniff out illegal aliens. As travelers entering the United States wait to retrieve their luggage, ICE enforcement agents use canines to determine which travelers are illegal immigrants. The pro...

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Trump Loses Fight with a Lamb

Funny story: Trump Loses Fight with a Lamb

Washington, DC - A young lamb wearing blue just showed up from a deeply red district in Pennsylvania, and President Donald Trump is running scared. He called the lamb a "sham" but the name would not stick. He said he was better looking than the lam...

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President Bone Spurs to Save Children from Active Shooters

Funny story: President Bone Spurs to Save Children from Active Shooters

Washington, D.C. - In the aftermath of yet another mass shooting, President Donald Trump, nicknamed President Bone Spurs (B.S. for short), has pledged that if he is near a school with an active shooter, he will personally walk in to save the student...

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Trump Crippled by Fear Of Sharks

Funny story: Trump Crippled by Fear Of Sharks

Washington, D.C. - In an 2011 interview, Stormy Daniels, a porn star who at that time claimed to be a former mistress of Donald Trump, described Trump's fear of sharks. Although Trump publicly acknowledges only a "professional" relationship with Dan...

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Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Funny story: Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Beijing, China - Americans love their fortune cookies and consume nearly three billion fortune cookies each year. Americans who eat at Chinese restaurants typically read their fortunes aloud at the end of their meals. But citizens of China have n...

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Trump "Visits" Puerto Rico To Survey Hurricane Damage

Funny story: Trump "Visits" Puerto Rico To Survey Hurricane Damage

West New York, NJ - President Donald Trump "visited" Puerto Rico today by way of a satellite feed from West New York, New Jersey. Trump scheduled the visit amid claims that he cares more about stirring controversy with the NFL than about a U.S. terr...

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College Student Kicked Out for Not Being Black Enough

Funny story: College Student Kicked Out for Not Being Black Enough

New York City, NY - A student was kicked out of his college this week for not being black enough. The former student checked the "Black" box on his college application and was counted as a minority when he was accepted. Once enrolled, the administra...

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DREAMers To Adopt West Dakota As Their New State

Funny story: DREAMers To Adopt West Dakota As Their New State

Trump, WD - President Trump announced by tweet his agreement with "Chuck and Nancy" to permit the 700,000 DREAMers to relocate to a new state to officially become citizens. The new state boundaries are carved out of federal land located in the weste...

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Mafia Family Members Major in Turf Management

Funny story: Mafia Family Members Major in Turf Management

New York City, NY - Local universities reported an uptick in popularity in Turf Management Studies, particularly for college applicants with Italian-American backgrounds. Students who major in turf management learn how to maintain the turf on sp...

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Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Funny story: Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...

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Accounting Firm Closed Permanently After Total Solar Eclipse

Funny story: Accounting Firm Closed Permanently After Total Solar Eclipse

Columbia, SC - All of the employees of a local accounting firm filed for disability yesterday after attending a firm sponsored "total solar eclipse" reception. With all of the employees now on disability, the firm was forced to shut its doors.

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"Cigarette Smoke Soap" Sales Surge

Funny story: "Cigarette Smoke Soap" Sales Surge

Richmond, Va - Sales of cigarette smoke soap, with its patent pending cigarette smoke scent, have surged across the United States. "Anyone who uses our soap will smell like cigarette smoke for at least two days, or your money back. With its pat...

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Thousands Add Name to Trump Do Not Call List

Funny story: Thousands Add Name to Trump Do Not Call List

Washington, D.C. - Scores of Americans have registered with a new "Trump Do Not Call List" which prevents Donald Trump from ever calling them. The database opens today. The initiative was sponsored by GOP Senators McCain, Flake, Collins, Corker,...

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Trump Files for Moral Bankruptcy

Funny story: Trump Files for Moral Bankruptcy

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump filed for moral bankruptcy today. The nation accepted the filing. Demanding a "fresh start", Trump tweeted, "I get out of every problem by filing for bankruptcy. Today is no different." The bankruptcy f...

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Google News Wins Pulitzer Prize

Funny story: Google News Wins Pulitzer Prize

New York, NY - The Pulitzer Prize Board has awarded the Pulitzer in news writing to Google News. The Board praised Google News for its excellent achievement in writing. "We are so pleased that the Pulitzer Board appreciates our format. We cons...

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New Girlfriends Require Breakup Fee

Funny story: New Girlfriends Require Breakup Fee

New York City, NY - Women across New York City now require breakup fees before they agree to a second date. The women can demand the fee payment only if the relationship doesn't work out. "It goes like this," said one woman who asked not to be n...

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Breaking news…

Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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