MUSHROOM KINGDOM-Mario, hero of the famed "Super Mario Bros" video game and avid plumber, was awarded the Purple Heart by the United States Military, marking the first time a video game character has ever won the prestigious award.
President George W. Bush, in order to garner more publicity, ate some local food from Iowa-an ear of corn on his campaign. As he described it, it was "the best cucumber I have ever eaten."...
Former NFL running back Ricky Williams and 2004 Kentucky Derby winner Smarty Jones will tour the world, representatives announced.
A new search engine Oojaboo claims to rival the popular Google search engine in both quality of searches and in the adorability of its name.
The Boston Red Sox clinched their first World Series title in 86 years when Red Sox fan Donald Kelley played a season on "MVP Baseball 2004" for PlayStation 2.
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
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Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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