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Visit to Hell "just rescheduled", Sanders says

Washington, D.C. August 29, 2018. White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders played down reports that President Trump’s visit to Hell had been cancelled. “It’s just been rescheduled,” Sanders said, and played down reports that Satan was re...

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Trump and NRA solve problem of school shootings

President Trump and the National Rifle Association announced at a joint news conference that together they would urge Congress to appropriate $12,800,000,000 to provide every student in the country with a ballistic vest. "It's a win-win situation,...

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President Trump nominated for more prizes

Eighteen republican congressmen and seven republican governors have nominated President Trump to receive the Nobel peace prize. Seventeen republican governors and sixty-two republican congressmen have nominated President Trump for the personal fi...

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Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un Trade Places

[Associated Press, October 17, 2017] In an event so secret that even the President's closest advisors were kept in the dark about it, Donald Trump swapped places with Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea. For seven days, the President basked in...

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NIH Identifies Source of Infection

Scientists at the National Institutes of Health announced today that they have identified the source of the mysterious infection that has brought down members of the administration. After analyzing blood and other bodily fluids taken from Sean Spi...

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Mueller issues indictments!

Associated Press, June 11, 2018. Special Counsel Robert Mueller announced that a federal grand jury has indicted Donald Trump, Jr., Paul Manafort, Jared Kushner and four others, for obstruction of justice and conspiring with a foreign power to inter...

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Trump's Advisory Panel On The Wall

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced the creation of a panel of experts to advise the President on construction of his wall on the southern border of the U.S. "The President is very pleased to announce that the panel will include Publiu...

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President Trump is really President Baldwin

The actor Alec Baldwin held a news conference in the Oval Office yesterday, as he signed one executive order after another. Mr. Baldwin had no difficulty entering the White House yesterday morning, as the security officers all recognized him as...

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Ryan Urges Trump to Resign

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has urged President Trump to resign, according to people close to him. "It is much easier for our members to be the party in opposition than it is to govern," the Speaker reportedly told the President. "As the part...

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Donald Groped Hillary in 2005! Trump and Weiner Sext Each Other!

[Associated Press, Washington, D.C.] FBI Director James Comey informed members of Congress this morning that he was expanding his investigation into e-mails, based on materials found on the laptop of disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner.

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Trump Blames Elvis, Mickey

Associated Press, August 13, 2016: At a campaign rally today, republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said that Elvis Presley was to blame for the 1970's. "You want to know who was responsible for the 70's," Trump told his supporters, "it...

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Trump Claims Autopsy was Rigged, Blames Clinton

Associated Press, June 18, 2032: Donald Trump today disputed the results of his own autopsy. "I do not suffer from Whinorrhea," he stated. Trump insisted that President Clinton had tampered with the results, and claimed that he had seen televisio...

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Trump's Autopsy Reveals Brain Tumor

Associated Press, June 17, 2032: An autopsy of the real estate mogul and former presidential candidate revealed that he had suffered from a growth on the cerebral cortex that impaired his ability to self-censor, increased his impulsiveness and limite...

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Trump tries to reassure liberals

Funny story: Trump tries to reassure liberals

Associated Press, April 1, 2016. Donald Trump today promised liberals that, if - no, when - he is elected president, they will not need to move to Canada, because he will live offshore. "I promise you that when I am President, I will not live in...

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Trump Receives Award From The Letter

Funny story: Trump Receives Award From The Letter

At a press conference in Snohomish, WA, the self-described "alphabet capital of the world," the letter I (pronounced "eye") announced that presidential candidate Donald Trump would receive the 2015-2016 award for most use of an important letter as a...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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