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Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"

Funny story: Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"

New York, NY - A chorus of former beauty queens in Donald Trump sponsored beauty pageants today held a press conference to address charges of sexual harassment against the Republican Presidential Candidate. "We are here to say that Donald Trump...

Read full story View 'Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"'

Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Funny story: Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Washington DC - While Hillary Clinton's campaign is subject to the "drip, drip, drip" of embarrassing emails, Republican nominee Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign is facing a deluge of stories about past sexual conduct that has taken a serious tol...

Read full story View 'Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel'

September 11, 2001 Tape Emerges of Hillary Clinton Making Lewd Comments While Twin Towers Were Aflame

Funny story: September 11, 2001 Tape Emerges of Hillary Clinton Making Lewd Comments While Twin Towers Were Aflame

Washington DC - On the heels of Donald Trump's obscene comments regarding his failed attempt to hit on a married woman by taking her furniture shopping, a tape has surfaced in which Hillary Clinton made a series of lewd comments to long time confidan...

Read full story View 'September 11, 2001 Tape Emerges of Hillary Clinton Making Lewd Comments While Twin Towers Were Aflame'

Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Funny story: Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Washington DC - A tape strategically leaked to the press by the Clinton campaign has led to calls for Trump to drop out of the race. Most of those calling for him to drop out are major figures within the Republican party still bitter that the voters...

Read full story View 'Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet'

Trump's Lewd Comments Provoke Criticism from House Speaker Paul Ryan

Funny story: Trump's Lewd Comments Provoke Criticism from House Speaker Paul Ryan

Washington DC - Republicans are distancing themselves once again from their own nominee for President Donald Trump, this time over comments Trump made in 2005 that were caught on tape. On the tape, Trump is heard talking about how his "fame" lets hi...

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Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.

Funny story: Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.

Los Angeles, CA - Details are emerging now about a pending divorce settlement between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in which Jolie gets all the children. "Mr. Pitt always found them annoying," his own attorney said. He went on to say that Jol...

Read full story View 'Pitt-Jolie Divorce Terms : Pitt Agrees To Living On $500 a Month If She Gets All The Annoying Kids, "Visitation neither desired nor at all necessary," says Pitt Lawyer.'

Trump Campaign Reacts To Trump Sex Tape , "Not Everything Longer Than It Is Thick Out of Which White Fluid Comes Jetting in Successive, Pumping Streams Represents A Spasmodic Penis In The Undulating Throes Of A Massive Ejaculation"

Funny story: Trump Campaign Reacts To Trump Sex Tape , "Not Everything Longer Than It Is Thick Out of Which White Fluid Comes Jetting in Successive, Pumping Streams Represents A Spasmodic Penis In The Undulating Throes Of A Massive Ejaculation"

New York, NY - The Trump campaign today shot back at the Clinton camp over Clinton's characterizations of a year 2000 Playboy video in which Trump appears opening a bottle of champagne, surrounded by topless and scantily clad "broads" who bounce up a...

Read full story View 'Trump Campaign Reacts To Trump Sex Tape , "Not Everything Longer Than It Is Thick Out of Which White Fluid Comes Jetting in Successive, Pumping Streams Represents A Spasmodic Penis In The Undulating Throes Of A Massive Ejaculation"'

Presidential Historian Says Trump Will Win Election

Funny story: Presidential Historian Says Trump Will Win Election

Cambridge, MASS - Harvard Historian Peter Lodensplatz predicts Donald Trump will be America's next President. He claims his Presidential prediction model superior to all others because it is based on "all American Presidential elections" dating back...

Read full story View 'Presidential Historian Says Trump Will Win Election'

Obama Vetoes 911 Family Victim Relief Bill, "If Passed, Law Would Deter Future Terrorist Attacks and That Is Not Acceptable."

Funny story: Obama Vetoes 911 Family Victim Relief Bill, "If Passed, Law Would Deter Future Terrorist Attacks and That Is Not Acceptable."

Washington DC - Appearing in what he called a "Dakishi" and then apologizing in case he pronounced the word wrong, President Obama today told reporters in the White House briefing room that there was "no fucking way" he would sign a bill allowing vic...

Read full story View 'Obama Vetoes 911 Family Victim Relief Bill, "If Passed, Law Would Deter Future Terrorist Attacks and That Is Not Acceptable."'

University Student Ejaculates Through Open Feminist "Safe-Space" Window

Funny story: University Student Ejaculates Through Open Feminist "Safe-Space" Window

Eugene, Oregon - A University of Oregon program to provide "safe-spaces" for male masturbators started off with good intentions but backfired thanks to a failure of foresight in positioning the safe-space male masturbation room adjacent to a feminist...

Read full story View 'University Student Ejaculates Through Open Feminist "Safe-Space" Window'

Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police Head Clarifies "Clinton Blew Us Off" Comment As Reason For Trump Endorsement

Funny story: Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police Head Clarifies "Clinton Blew Us Off" Comment As Reason For Trump Endorsement

Philadelphia - One day after announcing that his union was endorsing Republican nominee Donald Trump for President of the United States, John McNesby, the President of the Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police backtracked on his comment that Democr...

Read full story View 'Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police Head Clarifies "Clinton Blew Us Off" Comment As Reason For Trump Endorsement'

Clinton Camp Insists Stumbling Incident Had "Nothing to do with" Seeing Huge Puerto Rican Cock

Funny story: Clinton Camp Insists Stumbling Incident Had "Nothing to do with" Seeing Huge Puerto Rican Cock

New York (AP) - The video showing Hillary Clinton stumbling into her van and nearly falling before secret service grabbed her shoulders has fueled speculation that the Democratic Presidential candidate may be suffering from undisclosed health ailment...

Read full story View 'Clinton Camp Insists Stumbling Incident Had "Nothing to do with" Seeing Huge Puerto Rican Cock'

Hillary Clinton's Coughing Fits "A Combination of Semen and Public Hairs"

Funny story: Hillary Clinton's Coughing Fits "A Combination of Semen and Public Hairs"

Washington DC - They were supposed to be redacted, but portions of FBI summaries of interrogations with Hillary Clinton were leaked to the press today, showing the Democratic Presidential Candidate alleging that her frequent coughing fits are not due...

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Princeton To Phase Out "Male Biased" Words

Funny story: Princeton To Phase Out "Male Biased" Words

Princeton, NJ - Princeton College's faculty voted yesterday to implement a five year plan to make Princeton's classrooms places "free of all gender bias" by eliminating vocabulary from classroom instruction that "evokes male hegemony." The faculty a...

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Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Funny story: Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Baltimore, MD - He was so different. He was black but Canadian. He was black and specialized in Hockey commentary and play by play, sometimes assuming a fake French accent when he did the latter at a velocity quicker than even the most amped up Per...

Read full story View 'Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen'

Obama Embrace Of Clinton At Democratic Convention Turns Sexual

Funny story: Obama Embrace Of Clinton At Democratic Convention Turns Sexual

Philadelphia - Just moments after saying, "she'll finish the job," President Barack Obama was met on stage by Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton before the cheering throng of delegates to the 2016 Democratic Convention. The two embraced, and walked...

Read full story View 'Obama Embrace Of Clinton At Democratic Convention Turns Sexual'

Obama: Europe's National Hatreds Make American Race Problems "look like a picnic," says Continent "Soaked in Blood"

Funny story: Obama: Europe's National Hatreds Make American Race Problems "look like a picnic," says Continent "Soaked in Blood"

Warsaw, Poland - In opening remarks before a press conference in Warsaw today, U.S. President Obama took time to remind Americans that though their hatred for each other is "very real and probably implacable" it pales in comparison to the loathing pe...

Read full story View 'Obama: Europe's National Hatreds Make American Race Problems "look like a picnic," says Continent "Soaked in Blood"'

Parrot Beheading Mars July 4 Celebrations, Police Suspect Foul Play

Funny story: Parrot Beheading Mars July 4 Celebrations, Police Suspect Foul Play

Baltimore, MD - A foul mouthed parrot who had recently been featured on the news as a potential crime witness was beheaded during July 4 celebrations in a ghetto apartment complex court in Baltimore last night. The owner of the parrot, Curtis Le...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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