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Untidy School Kids are new Young Entrepreneurs

Teen Students who leave litter in School Canteens and on the street, are the new creators of employment. 'We need these brilliant young people', say Business Gurus. By discarding their packaging and other filth, they are ensuring future employment...

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Voter Confusion blamed on Twitter

Social Media is confusing voters : Tweets involving Labour are doing the Netizens' heads in : Was it the Royal Labour, or Politics Labour? Are we electing a new Government or an infant Successor to the Throne? Can a future Queen be elected? Is...

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Election debates now to feature 'Red Chair'

The Election Leaders are to undergo the 'red chair' treatment in upcoming TV Debates. The main Leaders will perform, sitting in Graeme Tronot - style red chair, the audience being equipped with 'worm - pads', which will transmit electric shocks t...

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Finance Ministers lacking Financial Acumen are victims of crafty Advisors

Funny story: Finance Ministers lacking Financial Acumen are victims of crafty Advisors

An inquiry into the Banking Collapse in Ireland has called a former Finance Minister to account. Brain Mccowswaine's answer to awkward Press Questions , tended to the claim that, he and others, were acting on the information available at the time...

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'I swear' political ad runs in to trouble as Cameron overheard swearing

The 'Ballot Ballad', a Skye News mash up presenting the Political Leaders as ready to promise ANYTHING, in their bid for votes, has run into difficulty. A bootleg version of the piece includes audio of the PM , using most un Eton - like language,...

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Political Leaders cash in on Easter Theme

Messrs Cameron, Osborne , Miliband et al are cashing in on the time of Year, to gain votes. Mr Camron is quoted saying, that , the Tories will ''rise again'', though associates say this may be a reaction to his wife's prolonged absence and possibl...

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Party Leaders stop at nothing to gain votes

Kissing babies, stroking hedgehogs, now the Election Candidates are ready to take part in Sunday Night Dramas and Reality TV, to up their ratings. We understand that Nigel Farage will appear in a crowd scene in 'Poldark', as an angered 'winnower',...

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If Britain left the EU, who would clean Seaside Cafe floors?

If UKIP had it's way, Britain would leave the EU. But this would then mean service industries would have to then employ only Brits. Given that many Brits don't seem to want to do the 'menial' jobs which many immigrant workers do, with goodwill and...

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Prince George may be Baby Jesus or The Antichrist

Prince George may be the Jesus-like manifestation of God on Earth or the Son of Satan, according to a new survey. Frustratedparents.web, which publishes the sleep-deprived ravings of parents worldwide, claims that, the nighttime screaming of ba...

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Paint attack on UKIP member's Office may simply show lack of Talent

An attack on the window of a UKIP Member's High Street Office may just indicate lack of artistic imagination. The paint assault resulted in the office window being covered with a large splatter, covering most of the pane. However, the lack of a...

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'Up the Women'

Britain is the home of Magna Carta and of the Suffragette, the place where the poor man, then Edwardian ladies, risked imprisonment, force-feeding and humiliation, in their fight for and ultimate achievement of the vote. But it seems that some Bri...

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Commercial Taxi flights into Space may be blocked ny Unions

Inter spatial taxi pilots are already insisting that unless they are 'guaranteed return fares', it won't be worth their while. ''Many of these future 'Space Tourists' have a hipster idea of flying one- way to Mars and then hanging out indefinitely...

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'Ireland's RTE player consistently crashes, stopping viewing of anything better

Many Irish TV viewers tune in to yet another ITV or RTE-grown broadcast of boring crassness, try to switch over or indeed, if they are very bored, try to access the RTE Programme, only to find that RTE Player freezes everything, including the possibi...

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Getting out for a walk and being nice to others is the key to living

Ground breaking findings show that not being a complete self-absorbed tosser and going for modest walks in the local park are key to a happy life. Really?! It appears that you don't need to spend thousands a year in membership to a Gym , just mov...

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Twitter Conversation about whether dress is white and gold or not, is utterly irrelevant

The dispute on Twitter, as to the true colours of a frock, has been dismissed as utterly superficial and secondary to the real issues of the modern world by the Fashion Industry. Things must be bad, if the World's Couturiers themselves, find a de...

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Police have tazered kids, but it's an act of kindness

British Police have multi - tazered University Students, now it appears they have tazered kids, teenagers of 14. 'It's really just to give them a light reprimand, as opposed to being shot dead', says DCI Jonny Tennyson 'We are issued with bulle...

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Drinking Water may trigger Depression

Scientists are asking if water, though the purest liquid one can imbibe, may possibly cause brain chemical imbalance, leading to Depression. 'It may even be, that, getting drunk on alcohol is actually better, for maintaining optimism and not actu...

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Pre Tour de France Stages to feature stabilisers

Top World Cyclists are, incredibly, to use bikes with stabilisers.. Stabilisers are a device associated with small children learning to balance on a two-wheeler. Sir Bradley Wigan, Tour De France Champion, says the move is 'the business' in tha...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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