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Pressing Issues Left Unresolved at MilanoCon '08

KANSAS CITY, MO, USA - Despite a heightened sense of urgency brought about from the failures of the previous year, the 2008 Alyssa Milano Convention ("MilanoCon") failed to resolve any major issues targeted in the official agenda. The resultant stale...

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Heat Trail Bulls 3-0; Riley To Have Hip Replacement Surgery

Funny story: Heat Trail Bulls 3-0; Riley To Have Hip Replacement Surgery

MIAMI, FL, USA - The defending NBA champion Miami Heat lost their third consecutive playoff game to the the Chicago Bulls Friday night, losing by a score of 104-96. Chicago guard Ben Gordon led the Bulls with 27 points, while forward Luol Deng added...

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LULAC: Bank Vaults "Exclusionary, Divisive"

Funny story: LULAC: Bank Vaults "Exclusionary, Divisive"

NEW YORK, USA - LULAC, the League of United Latin American Citizens, following their condemnation of the Secure Fence Act, released a statement on Tuesday denouncing US banks for their use of heavy steel, time-lock vaults.

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God Loses Playing At Dice With The Universe

Funny story: God Loses Playing At Dice With The Universe

RIGEL - Monday, on the as-yet unnamed seventh planet of the giant blue star Rigel, extremely rare circumstances allowing the eventual rise of humanity were set into motion after God, Creator of All Eternity, "lost his robes" at the craps ta...

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Mavs Lose Game Six; Dirk Rips Teammates, Himself, Existence

Funny story: Mavs Lose Game Six; Dirk Rips Teammates, Himself, Existence

Dallas, TX, USA - The San Antonio Spurs defeated the Dallas Mavericks Friday night, 91-86, to force a Game Seven showdown in San Antonio. Manu Ginobili and Tim Duncan were a lethal one-two punch for the Spurs, combining for 54 points and 18 rebounds.

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Actor Will Ferrell to stand in for Bush in debates

Funny story: Actor Will Ferrell to stand in for Bush in debates

DAVENPORT, IOWA - Today, the Bush re-election campaign made a surprising announcment, as they have tabbed popular Saturday Night Live alumnus Will Ferrell to appear as President George W. Bush in the upcoming presidential debates.

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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