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Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Opens Inductee Nursing Home Next Door

Funny story: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Opens Inductee Nursing Home Next Door

CLEVELAND - A little known news item from the recent 2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies which saw musical legends like Stevie Ray Vaughan, Lou Reed, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, to name a few, inducted into the Rock Hall, was the op...

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Michigan Woman Wrongly Convicted For Firing Weapon Into McDonald's, Because Bacon

GRAND RAPIDS, MI - A local woman was wrongly found guilty today of firing a shot into the drive-thru window of a McDonald's on February 10, 2015. We say wrongly convicted because the woman, "Shaneka," only fired the weapon into the store at head leve...

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Wellesley College Opens Hillary Clinton School For Evasive Communications

Funny story: Wellesley College Opens Hillary Clinton School For Evasive Communications

WELLESLEY, MA - The school where Hillary Clinton started her college career has bestowed an honor on the former First Lady by naming their new communications program after her. The Hillary Clinton School for Evasive Communications will open for b...

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This Valentine's Day, Dems Want You to Give the Gift of Obamacare Instead

Funny story: This Valentine's Day, Dems Want You to Give the Gift of Obamacare Instead

WASHINGTON D.C.- Forget candy and flowers, they've been done to death for Valentine's Day. This year, show your love by forcing your special someone to sign up for something they probably don't want - Obamacare! Who wouldn't want to be surprised with...

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Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment

Funny story: Actress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment

HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Always wanting to be on the cutting edge of society, actress Gwyneth Paltrow has taken "getting your carpet steam cleaned" to a new level. The 42 year-old actress now says she goes to a Hollywood spa and receives steam treatments...

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President Obama Sending Glozell Green to Conduct Nuclear Talks With Iran

Funny story: President Obama Sending Glozell Green to Conduct Nuclear Talks With Iran

PENTAGON - Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nu...

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Drone Arms Itself, Finally Makes Golden Globes Award Show Watchable

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - The 72nd annual Golden Globes awards ceremony had some fireworks tonight for a change. For the first time in the show's history, a drone was employed to get some unique camera angles for the audience around the world. Then the fun...

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Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

Funny story: Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

HELL - The Devil is complaining that Hell is getting too full of Islamic terrorists who insist on killing innocent people that don't share their same worldview. He hung up a temporary "No Vacancy" sign outside the entrance after accepting the sou...

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Stallone on Latest Rambo Role: "It's a Bitch Getting Old"

HOLLYWOOD - Tweeting the other day, Sylvester Stallone revealed that he will be reprising his role as "Rambo" one final time. The movie will be called "Rambo: Last Blood." Details of the project have since started slowly dripping out of Hollywood...

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John Boehner For Speaker Opponents Labeled "Tannists"

WASHINGTON D.C. - After a tense vote today, House Speaker John Boehner was re-elected to a third term as Speaker of the House. A number of Republicans voted for someone else to take over the position and it was the biggest push for a Speaker chan...

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Catnip Incident at FurFest Being Investigated as Suspicious

ROSEMONT, IL - An annual gathering of "people" who have a fur fetish, including many who were wearing furry outfits and animal costumes, got a little hairy when it was discovered a huge amount of powdered catnip had been planted in a stairwell at the...

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Illegals Nationwide Self-Deport, Apologize for Inconvenience

LOS ANGELES, CA - All across the country, exasperated illegal immigrants have decided en masse to self-deport themselves in light of the political burden they realize they have become for both political parties. The movement has no single leader...

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Sorry Ladies, Charles Manson Is About to be Taken Off the Market

Funny story: Sorry Ladies, Charles Manson Is About to be Taken Off the Market

CORCORAN, CA - In case you haven't heard, Charles Manson is about to get married. That's right, single ladies, if you liked him then you should've put a ring on it. Now, all the Monday morning quarterbacking starts on 'what could have been' for...

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Steve Perry, Journey Hit Song 'Lights' Lift San Fran to World Series Title

KANSAS CITY, MO - In a thrilling World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals, in which both teams seemed evenly matched, the title came down to one small difference - one team had a kick-ass song from the late 70'...

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Wendy 'Strap-On' Davis Gets a Hard-On For Dildo Sales in Texas

AUSTIN, TX - As the race for governor in the great state of Texas inches closer to a climax on November 4, Wendy Davis claims frontrunner Greg Abbott is waging a war on dildos. Davis thrust the subject into the pubic, er, public spotlight this we...

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Joe Biden Apologizes to Erdogan of Turkey, Aragorn - Son of Arathorn

Funny story: Joe Biden Apologizes to Erdogan of Turkey, Aragorn - Son of Arathorn

Washington, D.C. - Ever the one with his foot in his mouth, Vice President Joe Biden seems to be on an apology tour himself lately. Earlier this week, Mr. Biden was forced to apologize to the leader of Turkey, President Erdogan, after stating that Tu...

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Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

Funny story: Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

San Francisco, CA - House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to an unnamed mental health facility for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located...

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Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD - Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago. Rice inked a d...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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