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Super soaraway Spoof susses scandal

Journalists uncovered Watergate, MPs' expenses and many, many other scandals. Now your super, soaraway Spoof has found the latest; Paul Nuttall is a big fraud. His name isn't really Nuttall. Apparently he thought his real, double barrelled name would...

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Nutty chocolate spread proves explosive!

Following a deluge of bad PR stories, it now appears that a popular nutty chocolate spread is explosive. Nineteen people in the US and 4 in the UK have spontaneously combusted after eating the sickly product. Big-Narstie, the corporation whic...

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Ebdon breaks four minute barrier

Funny story: Ebdon breaks four minute barrier

The snooker world was rocked today when Peter Ebdon played a shot in under four minutes. It happened at the Heapey Open Snooker Championship. I caught up with him as he walked back to his dressing room, being very careful not to step in the trail...

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Pay and display on M60

A pay and display scheme is to be introduced on the M60, a spokesman said today. "If people are going to spend hours and hours sitting in their stationary cars on prime Manc real estate, it seems obvious to me that they should pay for it." Said 'H...

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All gingers are bastards: Official!

Only one year after opening, the Prestige University of Heapey (PUH, part of UCLAN) has released a report on DNA claiming that all ginger haired people are illegitimate. Professor Heinz Binz told me today. "The guilt experienced during illegitimat...

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Free candy-floss for everyone!

That was today's announcement from Ed Miliband. In an all too brief interview today, he told me. "Flibbly flibbly flobbery, blibble blobble dip dop smoink." Thankfully I'd had the foresight to bring Bill from Bill & Ben and he translated. "...

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A666 - The A-road of The Beast

According to an extensive study by AD Surveys, 80% of drivers who use the A666 in Bolton are utter fuckwits who think traffic lights and box junctions are there for decoration. An unnamed spokesman said today. "The next time someone stops on the...

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"An end to poverty!" Ed Balls

Ed Balls announced an end to poverty in the UK if Labour win the next election. "The Tories are always droning on and on about Labour mismanaging the economy and being responsible for the recession; O.K. it's true but it's boring. They may have b...

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Shari don't like it.

Funny story: Shari don't like it.

Shari Lewis, the popular ventriloquist of the sixties and seventies, has openly apologised for the effect her newest creation has had on the world. When her TV career ended she continued to perfect her craft. She made more and more human-looking...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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