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Republicans Praised for Reducing Stigma for Psychopaths

Funny story: Republicans Praised for Reducing Stigma for Psychopaths

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.-The National Institute of Mental Health congratulated the Republican Party for helping to make less infamous those with mental illness, by elevating obvious psychopaths to positions of high office. Doctor Fernando La...

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Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Funny story: Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Even as the rate of all other gun-related crimes had been decreasing in the United States for decades, the rate of mass shootings had steadily increased as gun show loopholes were found to circumvent bans on assault rifles, mental health centers were...

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Americans Debate whether they Get Stuff Done

Funny story: Americans Debate whether they Get Stuff Done

Dateline: WASHINGTON-Politicians rallied on Get Stuff Done Day, to reassure the American people that their government is in working order. Many boasted of their accomplishments while in office, describing in great detail the stuff in question.

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Wealthy Man replaces his Sexist and Racist Thoughts with Clones to silence Critics

Funny story: Wealthy Man replaces his Sexist and Racist Thoughts with Clones to silence Critics

Dateline: NEW YORK--Tired of being accused of having stereotypical ideas of women and racial minorities, the gazillionaire Roderick Billington set about spending his vast fortune to perfect his conceptions. "I realized the essence of the problem...

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Study shows Men secretly Resent Women's Phatness

Funny story: Study shows Men secretly Resent Women's Phatness

Dateline: NEW YORK--Islamic states are infamous in the West for forcing women to wear burqas, since those outer garments obscure the shape of women's bodies and are thus odious from a feminist standpoint. Defenders of the sexist laws typically resort...

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Millionaire tricks CNN into stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Funny story: Millionaire tricks CNN into stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Dateline: ATLANTA--Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchest...

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Christians buy "What would an Iron Age yokel do?" bracelet

Funny story: Christians buy "What would an Iron Age yokel do?" bracelet

Dateline: CHARLOTTE, NC--Along with its more famous line of wristbands, emblazoned with the words, "What would Jesus do?" Dollars for Jesus, a Christian merchandise company began selling a mysterious alternative, a wristband asking its wearer, "What...

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Cosmos Show embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches

Funny story: Cosmos Show embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches

Dateline: LOS ANGELES--Dozens of churches in the United States are collectively suing the producers of Cosmos, the reboot of the television show previously hosted by Carl Sagan, for "stealing the Christian shtick." The filed complaint was obtained...

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Polls show increased Respect for Republican Shamelessness

Funny story: Polls show increased Respect for Republican Shamelessness

Dateline: WASHINGTON--Polls indicate that Republicans are more respected by Americans, as a result of their complicated response to Russian President Putin's invasion of Ukraine. Since George W. Bush's second term, polls revealed that Americans' r...

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Canadians urge Ukrainians to seek Peace through Dullness

Funny story: Canadians urge Ukrainians to seek Peace through Dullness

Dateline: OTTAWA--Backed by a majority of Canadians, the Canadian government has passed a resolution urging Ukrainians to stop fighting and to handle their internal conflict by being more boring like, Canadians. Ukraine is split between ethnic Rus...

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Whipping set to replace Screeching in Olympic Curling

Funny story: Whipping set to replace Screeching in Olympic Curling

Dateline: Lausanne, Switzerland--After an Olympic curler died of a heart attack from haranguing her teammates as they swept the ice, the International Olympic Committee has ruled that instead of yelling so much for no good reason, curlers in the next...

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Man Sues Porn Industry for making Sex Boring

Funny story: Man Sues Porn Industry for making Sex Boring

Dateline: LOS ANGELES--Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. "There's too much nudity on the internet," he protests. "They've satura...

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Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland where One Man owns Everything

Funny story: Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland where One Man owns Everything

Richardsville, Suckersland--Economic inequality in Suckersland has reached its ultimate end point: a single man in that nation owns absolutely everything and all of the other inhabitants are broke or in debt. Lord Richard, the man who literally h...

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Young Woman miraculously ignores her Beauty and studies Philosophy

Funny story: Young Woman miraculously ignores her Beauty and studies Philosophy

PITTSBURGH--Lisa Prettysweet, an achingly beautiful 26-year old, stunned her family and friends by showing the slightest interest in philosophy. Predictably, her reading of philosophy has made her more skeptical, pessimistic, and cynical and her pare...

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Fashion Industry schemes to Punish Men by turning Women into Freaks

Funny story: Fashion Industry schemes to Punish Men by turning Women into Freaks

LAS ANGELES--More and more consumers are aware that magazines hire Photoshop artists to doctor pictures of celebrities, as part of an elaborate ritual designed to appease the celebrities' agents and to flatter the egocentric actresses so they'll agre...

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Weed-smoking Potlandians debate whether to legalize Nicotine and Alcohol

Funny story: Weed-smoking Potlandians debate whether to legalize Nicotine and Alcohol

CANNABISTOWN, PO--In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia's...

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Wild Animals of America Party accuses Republicans of thinking too much

Funny story: Wild Animals of America Party accuses Republicans of thinking too much

WASHINGTON--The Wild Animals of America Party began as an offshoot of the GOP, railing against big government for interfering with the divinely ordained inequalities in nature. "Let the natural struggle in the marketplace sort everything out," said W...

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Duck Dynasty Delusions and American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts warn

Funny story: Duck Dynasty Delusions and American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts warn

WEST MONROE, LA--Phil Robertson, star of A&E's Duck Dynasty, got into trouble with his politically incorrect comments about homosexuality being un-Christian. For financial reasons, A&E stood by Mr. Robertson, Duck Dynasty will continue filmin...

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Breaking news…

Trump Sorry For 'Horseface' Tweet

Trump apologizes to Stormy Daniels for calling her 'horseface' in a
tweet. Tweet was actually meant for Kelly Ann Conway.
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