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Funny story: Bruce's Retirement Hobby - Being On Strictly Come Dancing Every Week

Bruce's Retirement Hobby - Being On Strictly Come Dancing Every Week

"I just can't leave it alone and its even worse when I'm bored" Bruce Forsyth told a delegation of International Television Producers yesterday. He was referring of course to Strictly Come Dancing and not his Dick. Bruce is very fond of Dick, his Coc...
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Funny story: New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...
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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
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Funny story: Central Reservations On M1 To Become Picnic Areas For People With No Imagination

Central Reservations On M1 To Become Picnic Areas For People With No Imagination

A plan to boost picnic areas was unveiled today by the British Government's Tourist Development Authority. Widened areas of busy central reservations are to have picnic benches and litter bins to cater for the growing number of impromptu roadside pic...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

The offer of $40Bn to turn Scotland into a MacDisney Theme Park with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip as "fairy tale" Queen and King will not be accepted, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the "What to do with Scotland" pa...
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Funny story: Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Scotland will cease to be just somewhere that Prince Philip and The Queen slaughter game in, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the Conservative party in Glasgow. "We are probably going to revert to using the forests and moo...
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Funny story: False Legged Horse Romps In At 2000 - 1 Betting Suspended

False Legged Horse Romps In At 2000 - 1 Betting Suspended

A formerly injured horse, Pastorius II romped home by 13 lengths at Chepslow this afternoon. Six months ago, the horse was about to be shot after it jumped over a grass cutting machine, losing four legs below the "knee". A relative of Oscar Pistoli...
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Funny story: Australia has the world's most boring big rocks - 2015 Rough Guide To Boredom

Australia has the world's most boring big rocks - 2015 Rough Guide To Boredom

Several more interesting big stones have been attracting tourists in Australia who, having seen Ayer's Rock are keen to have even more sensational fun watching different big red lumps of sandstone. Kata Tjuta, sometimes written Tjuṯa, are a group...
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Funny story: Most U.S. Visitors Prefer Gibraltar To Spain - Cruise Ship Survey Result Shows

Most U.S. Visitors Prefer Gibraltar To Spain - Cruise Ship Survey Result Shows

A survey of U.S. vacation cruise visitors to the picturesque State of Gibraltar shows that 95% of travelers would holiday in Gibraltar rather than in the once popular Spain or even the "millionaire's playground" of Monaco. This surprising result...
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Funny story: Spain's Tax Revenue Down "Because Of Gibraltar" - Claims Minister

Spain's Tax Revenue Down "Because Of Gibraltar" - Claims Minister

A Spanish politician has claimed that Spain misses out on $1.3bn of tax revenues each year as a result of Gibraltar's tax advantages. Indigo Méndez de Vigo Mendez, Spain's Secretary of State for the European Union (EU), made the claim during an in...
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Funny story: Welsh Reservoirs To Be Made Into Homeopathic Medicines

Welsh Reservoirs To Be Made Into Homeopathic Medicines

With the addition of a few buckets of a chemical such as copper sulphate or potassium iodide a whole Welsh reservoir could be directed to a specific geographic location by automated pumps and valves to cure an outbreak of acne in Hammersmith or fla...
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Funny story: Is Cameron In Negotiations To Defect To UKIP?

Is Cameron In Negotiations To Defect To UKIP?

David Cameron is reported to be "livid" about rumours that he has not been informed about negotiations for his possible defection to the "highly popular" YUKIP party. Nigel Farage is said to be delighted about the rumours and is said to be keen to...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Denies Scraping Car Paintwork On White House Gates

Michelle Obama Denies Scraping Car Paintwork On White House Gates

The first lady has denied scraping the paintwork of her husband's vintage Rolls-Royce on the White House gate while trying to avoid running over a pigeon yesterday. Rumors that she applied eyeliner and nail color to disguise the damaged bodywork,...
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Funny story: Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

A projection by industry body Biscuits UK that 24bn boxes of shortbread can be extracted from the North Sea is "plausible", two academics have said. The projection has been used by the Scottish government as part of its campaign for independence.Last...
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Funny story: Ladies Formula One Grand Prix To Be Held in Gibraltar

Ladies Formula One Grand Prix To Be Held in Gibraltar

Bernice Eccles, the diminutive Ladies Formula One boss is adamant that the race will go ahead in Gibraltar on December 1st. Bernice, fresh from victory in a French court case has fought for seven years to hold the race around the cordoned off "Round...
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Funny story: Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Investors are clamouring to buy shares in Welsh Mixers P.L.C as news broke yesterday that gigantic Welsh reservoirs containing ice and lemon are to be commissioned in Snowdonia. An open "aquaduct" system will be built to supply London's Hoorah H...
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Breaking News...

"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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