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Funny story: Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

A group of eight geeky university frat house buddies was instantly killed by a single round from an M777 self-propelled howitzer when they ventured onto a firing range at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. "Training accidents are always tragic", read a statemen...
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Funny story: Canada, Mexico Propose Longest International Bridge Ever

Canada, Mexico Propose Longest International Bridge Ever

At the close of the recent "Three Amoebas" summit in Ottawa, Canadian Pry Minister Justin Truedough and Mexican President Enrique Pipi Nuevo passed a joint back and forth before jointly taking the podium to make a joint announcement: "While Enriqu...
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Funny story: Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Auntie Sandra Levi, High Priestess of The Church of Satan, filed a lawsuit this week alleging that rock band Led Zeppelin plagiarized the copyrighted liturgy of her church. "When they recorded the subliminal Satanic lyrics in Stairway to Heaven, t...
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Funny story: Massive Riots Follow NYPD Shooting

Massive Riots Follow NYPD Shooting

Race riots erupted all over New York City following the announcement that, on Tuesday morning, NYPD officers fatally shot a black Muslim man who was armed with nothing more than a stolen H-bomb. Truck driver Muhammad Baker was killed instantly in...
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Funny story: Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

In a press release held Thursday morning, FBI investigator Tracey McCall expressed her frustration at Apple's refusal to cooperate with the San Bernardino shooting investigation: "We know that they install mind-reading software in all of their iPh...
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Funny story: Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Francis closed off his visit to Mexico with the ultimate nod of approval to the blending of Catholic teachings with indigenous Mexican spiritual traditions. Donning a Santa Muerta costume, he climbed to the top of a Mayan pyramid to preside...
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Funny story: Kanye, Taylor to Resolve Dispute with Pistol Duel

Kanye, Taylor to Resolve Dispute with Pistol Duel

Kanye West and Taylor Swift have agreed that there is only one way to settle their ongoing feud: They will meet this coming Saturday at high noon, packing matching Colt .45 Peacemakers, at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, for a good old-fashio...
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Funny story: Canadian Government to Buy Playboy Mansion

Canadian Government to Buy Playboy Mansion

After only a few short weeks on the market, it appears that the Playboy Mansion has attracted a firm purchase offer from, of all parties, the Government of Canada. McKenzie Brothers Real Estate, acting on Canada's behalf, has revealed that their p...
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Funny story: North Korea to Accept Ten Million Syrian Refugees

North Korea to Accept Ten Million Syrian Refugees

"Well, fuck!" said North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, "It's not like anyone else wants to come here. Yes, the double meaning --I said 'come'-- is intentional: After a typical eighty-hour work week, while subsisting on 1200 calories a day, the averag...
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Funny story: Paradise Unsure of What to Do With Martyr Couple

Paradise Unsure of What to Do With Martyr Couple

"This has us stumped," said a spokesangel in Paradise. "I mean, do we give them each seventy-two virgins? Do we make them share the same seventy-two? In the latter case, should there be thirty-six male virgins and thirty-six female?" "Or, do w...
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Funny story: NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA spokesmilf Sierra Paylin caught the first available flight to San Bernardino (She even spelled it right!) to address the press with regards to an issue that has been bugging the NRA for years: "How is it possible for any deranged nut in this c...
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Funny story: U.S. to Screen Syrian Refugees According to Bra Size

U.S. to Screen Syrian Refugees According to Bra Size

A Senate committee on the Syrian refugee crisis held a press conference in Twin Peaks, California this morning to discuss their recommendations on U.S. policy towards granting asylum to Syrian refugees. "We can't let any of the men into the countr...
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Funny story: Surprise Late Entry into Republican Primary

Surprise Late Entry into Republican Primary

DETROIT--On Wednesday morning, reporters gathered in the Motor City to hear legendary rocker Vincent Furnier--better known as Alice Cooper-- announce that he was vying to run for president under the Republican banner. Cooper added that, in an unusua...
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Funny story: DNA Test Confirms: Justin Trudeau Actually Mick Jagger's Son

DNA Test Confirms: Justin Trudeau Actually Mick Jagger's Son

On Thursday morning of this past week, Dr. Maxwell Zilberhammer of the Great White North Health Sciences Laboratory announced the results of a DNA test ordered and paid for by the campaign of recently defeated Canadian Prime Minister Harpo Stevens.
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Funny story: Jihadis Attempt to Blow Up Great Pyramid, Extra-Terrestrials Return Fire!

Jihadis Attempt to Blow Up Great Pyramid, Extra-Terrestrials Return Fire!

On Tuesday morning, a ragtag band of Muslim fundamentalists attempted to tunnel under the Great Pyramid of Giza with the intent of planting and detonating a crude thermonuclear device underneath it. They were instantly annihilated by an intense brea...
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Funny story: Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Yesterday morning, everyone in the lower forty-eight states was killed or critically wounded in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Investigators from Canada's RCMP and Mexico's Policia Federales issued the following joint statement (as they...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Attendees at a recent Republican debate were surprised to see Donald Trump sporting a "Hitler" haircut, complete with a toothbrush mustache tattooed onto his upper lip. Before the words "Definite improvement" or "Accurate reflection of the man's id...
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Funny story: Liberty University Patents New Psychiatric Medication

Liberty University Patents New Psychiatric Medication

The faculty of neuroscience at Liberty University has just received a patent for a new psychiatric medication called "Inspiron", which promises to enhance the spirituality of mental patients. Research chair Samuel Isaiah explained to reporters tha...
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Breaking News...

Successful Arrest

Detroit: A 93 year old man was arrested yesterday for shoplifting. Said arresting officer, Chuck Braine; "Thankfully, he made no attempt to escape."
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