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Funny story: Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Attendees at a recent Republican debate were surprised to see Donald Trump sporting a "Hitler" haircut, complete with a toothbrush mustache tattooed onto his upper lip. Before the words "Definite improvement" or "Accurate reflection of the man's id...
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Funny story: Liberty University Patents New Psychiatric Medication

Liberty University Patents New Psychiatric Medication

The faculty of neuroscience at Liberty University has just received a patent for a new psychiatric medication called "Inspiron", which promises to enhance the spirituality of mental patients. Research chair Samuel Isaiah explained to reporters tha...
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Funny story: "Minions" Movie Full of Subliminal Satanic Messages

"Minions" Movie Full of Subliminal Satanic Messages

Reverend Gerry Fallguy, minister at the Suffering Jesus Christ Baptist church in Atlanta and founder of the Moral Immaturity movement, called reporters to his church last week to announce a startling discovery: "I took my kids to see the "Minions"...
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Funny story: Quackberry Launches New Smartphone App

Quackberry Launches New Smartphone App

As predicted, the release of Apple's new iBitch robot has prompted arch-rival Quackberry to respond with a competing product. However, Quackberry has chosen to tap the same market niche via a completely different approach. At a press conference y...
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Funny story: Rachel Dolezal to Undergo Race Reassignment Surgery

Rachel Dolezal to Undergo Race Reassignment Surgery

Former NAACP activist Rachel Dolezal has reportedly hired the late Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon, Dr. Avrahim Schwarzgoy, to perform a race-reassignment operation on her. "She's always felt herself to be a black soul-sista trapped in a nerdy w...
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Funny story: Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot

Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot

Electronics giant Apple chose New York City as a venue to introduce its new dominatrix robot, the iBitch, to consumers last week. Spokesbitch Ivana C. U. Hirt explained to reporters and tech gurus that the idea for the iBitch was actually spawned...
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Funny story: Fans Can't Wait for Next Month's Hyper Bowl

Fans Can't Wait for Next Month's Hyper Bowl

Trillions of people -- and other sentient beings all across the universe -- are positively catatonic in anticipation of the 2015 Hyper Bowl, scheduled to take place on March 1. In a press conference held this past Sunday, event promoter Max Blowha...
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Funny story: Jihad Descends on Salt Lick City

Jihad Descends on Salt Lick City

Radical Islamists are furious following the ritual posthumous baptism of their Prophet at the Tabernac' of the Jesus Christ Church of Lit Saints, Dude (LSD-Moron) in Salt Lick City, which reportedly took place in a service this past Sunday afternoon.
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Funny story: French Environmentalists and Politicians Demand Cleaner-Burning Cars

French Environmentalists and Politicians Demand Cleaner-Burning Cars

After nearly a thousand cars were torched by French party animals celebrating the New Year, the country's environmentalists and politicians are demanding change. Addressing reporters on the Champs Elysee, environment minister Otto LaFlamme pointed...
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Funny story: Jehovah's Witless Faithful Boycott Three-in-One Lubricants

Jehovah's Witless Faithful Boycott Three-in-One Lubricants

Claiming that the doctrine of the trinity, or "three-in-one" was clearly a lie concocted by Satan to lead true believers away from God's holy word, the leadership of the Jehovah's Witless Church announced a boycott of all Three-in-One lubricating pro...
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Funny story: ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

ISIS' Guns Fall Silent Following Coalition Air Strikes

Battle lines in northern Iraq and Syria have fallen strangely silent in the past few days following the latest air strikes by coalition aircraft. In a press conference this morning in Washington, the Joint-Rolling Chiefs of Stash explained the rea...
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Funny story: Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
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Funny story: Hotel Heiress to Wed Motel Heir

Hotel Heiress to Wed Motel Heir

Paris "The Heiress" Hilton, in her typical understated fashion, called a press conference this morning to announce her upcoming marriage to Norman "Psycho" Bates. "We have so much in common," she gushed, "what with my family's ties to the hotel bi...
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Funny story: Russian Jetliner Accidentally Shot Down by Louisiana Duck Hunters

Russian Jetliner Accidentally Shot Down by Louisiana Duck Hunters

An Aeroflot Airbus A330 was accidentally shot down on its approach to New Orleans by an as yet unidentified member of a duck hunting party led by Phil Robinson of "Duck Republic" fame. Said Robinson, also famous for inventing the "Duck Dictator" d...
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Funny story: Gene Simmonds to Buy Gaza Strip

Gene Simmonds to Buy Gaza Strip

Stinking rich hyper-mega-rock-star Gene Simmonds, who made his trillions leading the heavy-metal band CHISZ, announced his plan to bring peace to the Middle East today. "I've just inked a deal to buy the Gaza strip, and am negotiating an offer on...
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Funny story: Prostitutes Run Clear out of Midwestern Town

Prostitutes Run Clear out of Midwestern Town

A Montana town has taken a novel approach to curbing street prostitution, with great success. At a press conference yesterday, Lambton mayor Ramsey Mouton explained: "We used to be a quiet farming town. The biggest factory here was the woollen m...
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Funny story: Paylin Taunts Poutine

Paylin Taunts Poutine

Having heard from intelligence sources (at any rate, more intelligent than herself or her supporters) that Russian troops were massing in eastern Siberia, former vice-presidential running MILF Sierra Paylin called a press conference at the western ti...
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Funny story: Russia Moves to Annex Alaska

Russia Moves to Annex Alaska

Pwetty-Boy Pwethident Poutine announced last night that Russia had recently undertaken plans to reassert its historical claim to the territory of Alaska. Standing outside a theater in Moscow where the Bolshevik Ballet was rehearsing for a gala pre...
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Breaking News...

Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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