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Funny story: Mitch McConnell gets rabies from Bo, the Obama family's "First Dog"

Mitch McConnell gets rabies from Bo, the Obama family's "First Dog"

WASHINGTON D.C. - Mitch McConnell, Minority Speaker of the U.S. Senate, has been diagnosed as having rabies after a doctor who makes calls to the area around the Capitol grounds claims the almost comical-looking, eye-glassed, Democrat dragon-slayer w...
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Funny story: Strange Crop Circle of Richard M. Nixon Found on White House Lawn

Strange Crop Circle of Richard M. Nixon Found on White House Lawn

A large crop circle miraculously appeared on the front lawn of the White House overnight Wednesday, Nov. 5, leaving the Washington 'good and great' shaking their heads in disbelief. "I swear, it's a stunning caricature of the head of Richard M. Ni...
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Funny story: Why You Should Vote for Chris Christie for President

Why You Should Vote for Chris Christie for President

Okay, I like Chris Christie. The main reason I like the guy is because he's big and fat, just like me. In a land that's filled with dysfunctional dipshit politics, is that such a bad reason? Am I being too shallow? Too trite? Too outrageous? And...
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Funny story: Former UNC Chapel Hill Standout Offensive Tackle Writes an Op-Ed to the 'Akron Beacon Journal'

Former UNC Chapel Hill Standout Offensive Tackle Writes an Op-Ed to the 'Akron Beacon Journal'

I've been looking over a recent copy of the Akron Beacon Journal. It's not a fair or balanced paper, as I see it, and really should have a sickle and hammer on its flag. And I'm pretty darned liberal myself. I remember back, oh, about 20 years or...
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Funny story: "Thank God It's Monday" is the new Credo of Republican Party

"Thank God It's Monday" is the new Credo of Republican Party

The Republican Party has come out with a new spinoff, the "Thank God It's Monday" cry, which will be present for at least a little while, until they get something going in the way of good PR and also, put a muzzle on those hideous talking heads at FO...
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Funny story: My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

My new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!

I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
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Funny story: I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

I Just Bought My Own Drone, And Man Is She a Pretty One!

JERSEY CITY, N.J. - I went online and ordered my very own drone in late July. I purchased the thing from Military Drone Leftovers from the Desert Wars Dot Com. Man, it sure is a pretty thing, too. I guess it originally was a flat black, but b...
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Funny story: After So Many 'Petite Little Women' have been Assaulted by Players, NFL Plans to Recruit from the U.S.'s State Prison Systems

After So Many 'Petite Little Women' have been Assaulted by Players, NFL Plans to Recruit from the U.S.'s State Prison Systems

NFL spokesman Roger Allovem says he's tired of the mamby-pamby wannabe tough guiys whose claim to fame is beating up little women who weigh less than 120 pounds. From now on, Allovem says the NFL won't be looking to the NCAA Division I teams as...
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Funny story: Stephen Harper Has Plans to Turn Canada Into the World's Largest Junkyard

Stephen Harper Has Plans to Turn Canada Into the World's Largest Junkyard

THE GREAT BLACK NORTH (Canada) - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Canadian Conservative Party head honcho, since 2006 has made a mockery out of environmental policies in "The Great White North." So much so, in fact, that Harper is turning what...
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Funny story: LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

CLEVELAND, Ohio - LeBron James has reneged on his contract to play NBA basketball for the Cleveland Cavaliers and instead has signed a three-year deal to be a relief pitcher for the Texas Rangers. Not even a month ago, King James signed a two-yea...
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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Arrested In Albuquerque for Cross Dressing, Purse Snatching, Shoplifting and Impersonating a Police Officer

Bill O'Reilly Arrested In Albuquerque for Cross Dressing, Purse Snatching, Shoplifting and Impersonating a Police Officer

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - FOX News talking head Bill O'Reilly was arrested last light in downtown Albuquerque for a number of charges, including Impersonating a Police Officer. "We discovered Mr. O'Reilly in a downtown alley with a sharp long wire. He...
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Funny story: North West Kardashian is to be Married Off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli This Sunday on Saint Kitts Island

North West Kardashian is to be Married Off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli This Sunday on Saint Kitts Island

BASSETERRE on SAINT KITTS ISLAND - North West Kardashian/West is to be married off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli this coming Sunday in a $5 million wedding extravaganza extraordinaire' on the Caribbean Island of Saint Kitts, in the quaint city of Bass...
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Funny story: Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are Actually Women, Doctor at NASA Discovers

Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are Actually Women, Doctor at NASA Discovers

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are actually women and are not men at all, and both came kicking and screaming into this world with feminine genitals, a NASA senior medical doctor discovered late last week. NASA, which does inte...
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Funny story: Entire Population of Detroit Gets Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease

Entire Population of Detroit Gets Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease

DETROIT, Mich. - The entire population of Michigan's largest city, Detroit, has somehow come down with Mad Cow Disease. All 701,475 residents of this hard-luck place were struck with this horrible affliction Friday night, between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m...
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Funny story: Ted Nugent Opens' Kill Any Animal You Want with a Machine Gun' Amusement Park

Ted Nugent Opens' Kill Any Animal You Want with a Machine Gun' Amusement Park

BUMMED OUT, Texas - The Motor City Moron, who's been popping off for a long time now with impunity, finally has some consequences for being such a loud-mouthed, arrogant, dangerous pig-of-an asshole - and he's been hit just where it hurts the most -...
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Funny story: Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - KISS bassist Gene Simmons and Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger have gone on record to declare to the world that they are not gay and that they are proud heterosexuals. Simmons, who said he's slept with 4,897 women, and Jagge...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck, conservative commentator and Tea Party golden boy, admitted that he was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes while he was employed at FOX News. "My Gosh, it felt like 17 hours. It was terrible," Beck said. Acco...
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Funny story: John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

SAINT DAVID, Maine - House Speaker John Boehner signed FOX News commentators Sean Hannity and Megyn Kelly into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane Monday afternoon. This insane asylum sits right on the edge of Canada and its thick deciduous...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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