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Funny story:  Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - KISS bassist Gene Simmons and Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger have gone on record to declare to the world that they are not gay and that they are proud heterosexuals. Simmons, who said he's slept with 4,897 women, and Jagge...
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Funny story:  Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck, conservative commentator and Tea Party golden boy, admitted that he was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes while he was employed at FOX News. "My Gosh, it felt like 17 hours. It was terrible," Beck said. Acco...
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Funny story:  John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

SAINT DAVID, Maine - House Speaker John Boehner signed FOX News commentators Sean Hannity and Megyn Kelly into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane Monday afternoon. This insane asylum sits right on the edge of Canada and its thick deciduous...
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Funny story:  Richard Sherman, You're the Man!

Richard Sherman, You're the Man!

SEATTLE, Wash. - Seattle Sea Gulls Cornerback Richard Sherman will be forced to have his lips taped over after Super Bowl XLVIII Sunday, Feb. 2. Sea Slugs management is also considering filling Sherman's mouth with cotton, as a further precautionary...
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Funny story:  Chris Christie denies that he had plans to blow up the George Washington Bridge

Chris Christie denies that he had plans to blow up the George Washington Bridge

A GRUNGY ALLEY IN NEW JERSEY - Gov. Chris Christie has been denying rumors that he's formed a militia group intent on blowing up the George Washington Bridge, which connects New Jersey with New York City. "I've fired forty members of my militia gr...
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Funny story:  Want to Buy Fake Likes? Bogus YouTube Comments? Tip Twitter? Try a Spider Monkey's Ingenuity!

Want to Buy Fake Likes? Bogus YouTube Comments? Tip Twitter? Try a Spider Monkey's Ingenuity!

Monkey Business Corporation, a computer-based operative based on Port-au-Prince in the Caribbean Islands, is the home of a brand new IT dynamo which acts as a stalwart spin-doctoring entity for bogus celebrities, up-and-coming confidence men, and fra...
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Funny story:  Daniel Snyder, It's Time for You to Get Out of the Game

Daniel Snyder, It's Time for You to Get Out of the Game

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, didn't need to fire Mike Shanahan on "Black Monday." Shanahan isn't the problem. He's a winning coach with two Super Bowl championships to prove it. No, Snyder needs to fire himself.
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Funny story:  Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - NASA, BP, Big Bob's Cheeseburgers, Jack Daniels, Coca-Cola, and Exxon have teamed up to send a sophisticated fracking operative to venture to Uranus. With any luck, the colossal spaceship holding fracking equipment and a full c...
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Funny story:  We love you, Sarah Palin, and we're glad that Martin Bashir Creep is Dog Goned

We love you, Sarah Palin, and we're glad that Martin Bashir Creep is Dog Goned

Martin Bashir's on-air verbal attack against Sarah Palin was so over the top that even liberals think this eccentric left-wing crackpot should have resigned. And most of us liberals can be categorized as eccentric left-wing nutcases, but even the...
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Funny story:  A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Chief Technology Officer for the White House, Todd Park, is so busy fixing the Obamacare website that he can't testify in front of a U.S. House of Representatives oversight committee. Park may be slapped with a subpoena if...
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Funny story:  Hey Pale Face, Keep Our Ethnicity off Your Sports Gear

Hey Pale Face, Keep Our Ethnicity off Your Sports Gear

Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, is under enormous pressure to change the name of the Washington Redskins. Earlier this month, Aris Mardirossian, a neighbor of Snyder, registered a trademark for this NFL football team, "The Washington...
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Funny story:  Cloned 17-Winged Chicken Will Feed the UK's and USA's Appetites

Cloned 17-Winged Chicken Will Feed the UK's and USA's Appetites

MANCHESTER - A chicken with 17 wings is more of an agricultural asset than a chicken with only two wings. No Jessica Simpson, Buffalo wings don't come from buffalos, they come from chickens and ravenous Americans can't seem to get enough of them.
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Funny story:  A Pacifist Wiseguy Discusses the Latest 'If it Bleeds, it Leads' News Item

A Pacifist Wiseguy Discusses the Latest 'If it Bleeds, it Leads' News Item

Just the other day the NRA and Ted Nugent were on TV talking about their interpretations of the Second Amendment and how every man, woman, and child in America has a God-given right to own machine guns. Something to that effect, anyhow. That nut...
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Funny story:  A Colorful Bouquet, or, the Importance of Being Furnaced

A Colorful Bouquet, or, the Importance of Being Furnaced

The following report was posted on Wikileaks last week. It was taken from a Super Top Secret CIA file, but upon request of the U.S. government, Wikileaks decided to kill this story because news of the new Sexually Transmitted Disease. the McAllistore...
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Funny story:  Who Needs a Medical Doctor When Brother Benny's In Town?

Who Needs a Medical Doctor When Brother Benny's In Town?

LAREDO, Texas - The whole ordeal was so surreal it was psychedelic and otherworldly. Pastor Benny Hinn's Everything's Bigger in Texas maxi-ministry tour knocked me off my crutches while it catapulted others out of their wheelchairs and off their life...
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Funny story:  'Going Out of Business Sale' Is Now Being Held on White House Lawn

'Going Out of Business Sale' Is Now Being Held on White House Lawn

WASHINGTON D.C. - An Arab sheik and a popular singer had a bidding war ongoing at a federal government auction Monday. Set to close down its government, the United States of America began its "Going Out of Business Sale" at the nation's capitol and e...
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Funny story:  Passing on Football, Rev. Tebow's Now a  'Rattlersnake' Preacher

Passing on Football, Rev. Tebow's Now a 'Rattlersnake' Preacher

Tim Tebow isn't unemployed any longer. And he's gone from the game of football to good ole-timey religion. No, he's no longer going to throw dying quail passes. Rev. Tebow's saving souls. Oh Brother, where art thou will soon be found behind the p...
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Funny story:  Paula Deen Cooks at a KKK Hog Roast in Mississippi

Paula Deen Cooks at a KKK Hog Roast in Mississippi

MERIDIAN, Mississippi - After making an emotional debut at a cooking show in Houston this past Saturday (her first public appearance in months), celebrity chef Paula Deen appeared Sunday at a Ku Klux Klan gathering near the Alabama border. "It's s...
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