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Funny story: Stephen Harper Has Plans to Turn Canada Into the World's Largest Junkyard

Stephen Harper Has Plans to Turn Canada Into the World's Largest Junkyard

THE GREAT BLACK NORTH (Canada) - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Canadian Conservative Party head honcho, since 2006 has made a mockery out of environmental policies in "The Great White North." So much so, in fact, that Harper is turning what...
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Funny story: LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

LeBron James Rats Out on Cavaliers, Signs on with Texas Rangers, May Play Hockey with Red Wings this Winter

CLEVELAND, Ohio - LeBron James has reneged on his contract to play NBA basketball for the Cleveland Cavaliers and instead has signed a three-year deal to be a relief pitcher for the Texas Rangers. Not even a month ago, King James signed a two-yea...
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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Arrested In Albuquerque for Cross Dressing, Purse Snatching, Shoplifting and Impersonating a Police Officer

Bill O'Reilly Arrested In Albuquerque for Cross Dressing, Purse Snatching, Shoplifting and Impersonating a Police Officer

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - FOX News talking head Bill O'Reilly was arrested last light in downtown Albuquerque for a number of charges, including Impersonating a Police Officer. "We discovered Mr. O'Reilly in a downtown alley with a sharp long wire. He...
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Funny story: North West Kardashian is to be Married Off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli This Sunday on Saint Kitts Island

North West Kardashian is to be Married Off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli This Sunday on Saint Kitts Island

BASSETERRE on SAINT KITTS ISLAND - North West Kardashian/West is to be married off to Bobby "Bonzai" Bonacelli this coming Sunday in a $5 million wedding extravaganza extraordinaire' on the Caribbean Island of Saint Kitts, in the quaint city of Bass...
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Funny story: Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are Actually Women, Doctor at NASA Discovers

Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are Actually Women, Doctor at NASA Discovers

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Hulk Hogan and Jesse Ventura are actually women and are not men at all, and both came kicking and screaming into this world with feminine genitals, a NASA senior medical doctor discovered late last week. NASA, which does inte...
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Funny story: Entire Population of Detroit Gets Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease

Entire Population of Detroit Gets Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease

DETROIT, Mich. - The entire population of Michigan's largest city, Detroit, has somehow come down with Mad Cow Disease. All 701,475 residents of this hard-luck place were struck with this horrible affliction Friday night, between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m...
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Funny story: Ted Nugent Opens' Kill Any Animal You Want with a Machine Gun' Amusement Park

Ted Nugent Opens' Kill Any Animal You Want with a Machine Gun' Amusement Park

BUMMED OUT, Texas - The Motor City Moron, who's been popping off for a long time now with impunity, finally has some consequences for being such a loud-mouthed, arrogant, dangerous pig-of-an asshole - and he's been hit just where it hurts the most -...
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Funny story: Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger go on record to declare they are not gay

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - KISS bassist Gene Simmons and Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger have gone on record to declare to the world that they are not gay and that they are proud heterosexuals. Simmons, who said he's slept with 4,897 women, and Jagge...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck: "I was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes"

Glenn Beck, conservative commentator and Tea Party golden boy, admitted that he was abducted by illegal aliens from outer space for 17 minutes while he was employed at FOX News. "My Gosh, it felt like 17 hours. It was terrible," Beck said. Acco...
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Funny story: John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

John Boehner Signs Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane

SAINT DAVID, Maine - House Speaker John Boehner signed FOX News commentators Sean Hannity and Megyn Kelly into the Moondog Center for the Criminally Insane Monday afternoon. This insane asylum sits right on the edge of Canada and its thick deciduous...
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Funny story: Richard Sherman, You're the Man!

Richard Sherman, You're the Man!

SEATTLE, Wash. - Seattle Sea Gulls Cornerback Richard Sherman will be forced to have his lips taped over after Super Bowl XLVIII Sunday, Feb. 2. Sea Slugs management is also considering filling Sherman's mouth with cotton, as a further precautionary...
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Funny story: Chris Christie denies that he had plans to blow up the George Washington Bridge

Chris Christie denies that he had plans to blow up the George Washington Bridge

A GRUNGY ALLEY IN NEW JERSEY - Gov. Chris Christie has been denying rumors that he's formed a militia group intent on blowing up the George Washington Bridge, which connects New Jersey with New York City. "I've fired forty members of my militia gr...
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Funny story: Want to Buy Fake Likes? Bogus YouTube Comments? Tip Twitter? Try a Spider Monkey's Ingenuity!

Want to Buy Fake Likes? Bogus YouTube Comments? Tip Twitter? Try a Spider Monkey's Ingenuity!

Monkey Business Corporation, a computer-based operative based on Port-au-Prince in the Caribbean Islands, is the home of a brand new IT dynamo which acts as a stalwart spin-doctoring entity for bogus celebrities, up-and-coming confidence men, and fra...
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Funny story: Daniel Snyder, It's Time for You to Get Out of the Game

Daniel Snyder, It's Time for You to Get Out of the Game

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, didn't need to fire Mike Shanahan on "Black Monday." Shanahan isn't the problem. He's a winning coach with two Super Bowl championships to prove it. No, Snyder needs to fire himself.
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Funny story: Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - NASA, BP, Big Bob's Cheeseburgers, Jack Daniels, Coca-Cola, and Exxon have teamed up to send a sophisticated fracking operative to venture to Uranus. With any luck, the colossal spaceship holding fracking equipment and a full c...
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Funny story: We love you, Sarah Palin, and we're glad that Martin Bashir Creep is Dog Goned

We love you, Sarah Palin, and we're glad that Martin Bashir Creep is Dog Goned

Martin Bashir's on-air verbal attack against Sarah Palin was so over the top that even liberals think this eccentric left-wing crackpot should have resigned. And most of us liberals can be categorized as eccentric left-wing nutcases, but even the...
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Funny story: A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

A Fishy Floundering Around is HealthCare.gov's Culprit

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Chief Technology Officer for the White House, Todd Park, is so busy fixing the Obamacare website that he can't testify in front of a U.S. House of Representatives oversight committee. Park may be slapped with a subpoena if...
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Funny story: Hey Pale Face, Keep Our Ethnicity off Your Sports Gear

Hey Pale Face, Keep Our Ethnicity off Your Sports Gear

Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, is under enormous pressure to change the name of the Washington Redskins. Earlier this month, Aris Mardirossian, a neighbor of Snyder, registered a trademark for this NFL football team, "The Washington...
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Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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