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No Nudes Is Bad News!

Funny story: No Nudes Is Bad News!

Like nudism itself, nudist colony memberships are in decline around the world. "Not many people want to parade around in front of strangers--or behind them, for that matter," Grumpy Baer whined. Reporters who get laid, uh, paid for publicizing nud...

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Megan Kelly: Too big a star to fail?

Funny story: Megan Kelly: Too big a star to fail?

New Yawk, New Yawk--iN Be Cee, which replaced Brian Williams with Megan Kelly, whom they stole from Faux News, may be headed to court for reporting fake news, a category of journalism "filler" usually reserved for Cee iN iN and Mmm eS iN Be Cee. T...

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PFC Bradley, now "Chelsea," outed from the hoosegow for being "trans"

Funny story: PFC Bradley, now "Chelsea," outed from the hoosegow for being "trans"

Ft. Leavenworth, KS -- As one of his last acts of office, President Baroque Insane Obummer commuted the sentence of Private First Class (PFC) Bradley "Chelsea" Manning, 29, who was serving a 35-year prison sentence for leaking 750,000 classified mili...

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Once-popular Girls' Names Now Bomb with Newborns' Parents

Funny story: Once-popular Girls' Names Now Bomb with Newborns' Parents

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, USA -- After Olympics swimmer Bruce ("The Deuce") Jenner, Breakfast of Champions, announced his new identity as a "woman" named Caitlyn, the name has become more unpopular with parents of newborns than any other girls' nam...

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For pro golfer Bob Twat, being cute and inspirational may have to be enough

Funny story: For pro golfer Bob Twat, being cute and inspirational may have to be enough

DULUTH, GA ---- Bob Twat bogeyed two of the last three holes during his play at Friday's PGA Tour Champions' Mitsubishi Electric Classic. "It's disappointing that I actually hit two nice shots on 7 and 9," he said. "Otherwise, I'd be even further...

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Population unpopular with Targette

Funny story: Population unpopular with Targette

Minneapolis, Minnesota ---- As part of its "population control program," discount retailer Targette, which has already equipped its stores with transgender bathrooms, "because," as the company's CEO, Brian C. "Big Bri" Cornhole, explained to star rep...

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United Airlines CEO vows "never again"

Funny story: United Airlines CEO vows "never again"

THUG CITY, IL ---- Following what he described as a "thorough review" of his flight crew's use of police to drag Kentucky medical doctor David Tao off an "overbooked" flight to prevent him from tending to his patients the next morning (and to replace...

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Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"

Funny story: Mountain Dew: "it'll tickle yore innards"

LANSING, MI --- Most of us have drunk a bottle or two of Mountain Dew. As we sipped the frosty green beverage, we probably never worried about it. After 7,200 gallons of the drink's concentrated syrup flooded the internal sewers of a Pepsico bottling...

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Daredevil pilot Harrison Ford lands atop airliner

Funny story: Daredevil pilot Harrison Ford lands atop airliner

LOS ANGELES, CA --- Harrison Ford, 74, isn't much better a pilot than he was an actor. He proved his lack of aviation skills when, in defiance of an air-traffic controller's order to land on John Wayne Airport's Runway "L," he brought his single-engi...

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NBC launches NSFW News

Funny story: NBC launches NSFW News

Rock-and-Roll Center, The Big Apple, Baby ---- Due to a variety of factors, including the Internet and a lack of public trust in the media, television news ratings have plummeted in recent years. "I don't want non their fake news," couch potato Im...

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McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

Funny story: McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

ANYTOWN, USA -- At McDonaldo's, if you buy anything other than a 1/4 Pounder, you can go pound sand, as far as the freshness of your order is concerned. "We don't do 'fresh,' when it comes to our hamboogers, cheeseboogers, or Big Macks," CEO Ronaldo...

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Dizney on the down-low?

Funny story: Dizney on the down-low?

MAGIC KINGDOM, CA --- In an effort to generate publicity for his soon-to-be-released Beauty's Beast, openly gay director Phil A. Condom admits the film contains a "down and dirty gay moment." LeBoyToy, kiss-ass manservant to manly Gaston, one day...

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SCOTUS: Jurors must justify their deliberations

Funny story: SCOTUS: Jurors must justify their deliberations

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- In a God-like pronouncement, the US Supreme Court ruled, by a 5-3 vote, that jurors are no longer allowed to deliberate in secret. Now, to prevent "prejudice" and "bias" in trials involving illegal aliens or other "protected...

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Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

Funny story: Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

PORTLAND, ME--Tired of seeing men and women sitting on their asses, peeing on the streets, and pestering hardworking citizens for "spare" change, officials of Portland, Maine, have decided to put the bums to work. City officials have agreed to fun...

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Marine Corps reveal photos reveal all

Funny story: Marine Corps reveal photos reveal all

THE PENTAGON - Male Marines shared naked photographs of female Marines on a not-so-secret Facebook page. Allegedly, a few of the pictures were taken without the "models'" knowledge or consent. Captions to the photos included "obscene comments...

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Pelosi on sexism, bukkake, and a Democratic colleague's inspiration

Funny story: Pelosi on sexism, bukkake, and a Democratic colleague's inspiration

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- Botox devotee, plastic surgery fan, and Senate Minority leader Nancy "Nanny" Pelosi, 76, said she just didn't "know what to say" when she was asked whether she condemned Democratic Representative Cedric Richmond's sexist statem...

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Clinton still "dazed and confused" after loss to Trump, friend says

Funny story: Clinton still "dazed and confused" after loss to Trump, friend says

Chappaqua, New Yawk--After her "stunning" loss to President Donald Trump, loser Hillary Clinton still doesn't know what the hell happened to her. She conducted an autopsy on her failed election complain, and she still doesn't know what the hell happe...

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Schwarzenegger regarding Trump: "I will smash his face."

Funny story: Schwarzenegger regarding Trump: "I will smash his face."

HOLLYWEIRD, CA--Aging celebrity Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't as photogenic as he used to be-not that the camera ever really loved him all that much, even in his Mr. Universe days. As he's gotten older, he's developed wattles. The fleshly flaps hang...

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Breaking news…

Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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