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Funny story: Bruce Jenner, hearing rumors of his alleged sex change, pouts

Bruce Jenner, hearing rumors of his alleged sex change, pouts

MALLEABLE MALIBU -- Olympic has-been, athlete Bruce Jenner has become obsessed with wearing women's undergarments, which have led to rumors, allegedly spread by his wife Kris (note the masculine name of his bitter half), that the former track-and-fie...
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Funny story: Obummer "bummed" about Ferguson

Obummer "bummed" about Ferguson

WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In a White House rose garden interview, as he sipped mint juleps and was fanned by "aides," President Barack Obummer lamented the fact that he is "bummed" about the "Ferguson" incident, the shooting of African-American thief...
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Funny story: Chair From Nowhere first of new line of needless products

Chair From Nowhere first of new line of needless products

Tired? Back bothering you again? No problem: just "summon" The Chair From Nowhere. Inspired by cockroaches, The Chair From Nowhere is actually a stainless-steel "exoskeleton" that, like The Femdom Dildo, straps onto the wearer's body-in the case o...
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Funny story: Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Providence, RI, and Athens, Gr -- Usually, it's a case of finders keepers, losers weepers. Not this time, though. A "prominent collector" in Rhode Island (which, despite its name, is not actually an island) relinquished his claims to ownership...
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Funny story: In Columbia, no nudes is good nudes

In Columbia, no nudes is good nudes

BOGATA -- Paola Builes Aristzabal, who won the title of Miss Antioquia by showing off her curvaceous figure, was "shocked" to learn that she has been disqualified as a contestant in the Miss Columbia beauty pageant. Judges stripped the naughty Mis...
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Funny story: First Lady Michelle Obama's ongoing food fight to rid American schools of "racist menus"

First Lady Michelle Obama's ongoing food fight to rid American schools of "racist menus"

COMING SOON TO A SCHOOL NEAR YOU - Michelle Obama has banished the pink cookie beloved by millions of red-blooded Americans. According to the First Lady, "the dessert have too many calorie" for children, or, for that matter, the president himself...
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Funny story: Crime Stoppers director bites

Crime Stoppers director bites

MY AM ME, WHO YOU BE, FL -- Your identity may not be safe from the National Security Agency (NSA) or on the Obummercare web site, but it's secure with the Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers, the executive director of which recently took a bite out of crime wh...
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Funny story: Google: YOU are the company's next-gen technology

Google: YOU are the company's next-gen technology

SILICONE VALLEY, CA -- Trying to recover from consumers' backlash concerning the computer giant's threat to replace human beings with robots by 2030, Google has released 8,000 of its prototypical wearable Glass, a system resembling eyeglasses that ca...
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Funny story: Michelle Obummer: her daughters are "picky eaters"

Michelle Obummer: her daughters are "picky eaters"

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- Although Quiznos is blaming its bankruptcy on the chronic economic recession that, starting during the Bush administration, which not only continued but worsened during Barack Obummer's presidency, and on Obummercare, the White...
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Funny story: Scientists discover secrets of "twilight zone"

Scientists discover secrets of "twilight zone"

VANCOUVER, CANUCKS -- Scientists have often speculated (i. e., theorized) as to what might lie within Mother Earth's "twilight zone," the space between her epidermis, or "upper crust," and her dermis, or "lower mantle." They once believed (i. e., hyp...
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Funny story: NSA about to make every American a movie star

NSA about to make every American a movie star

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) is gathering audiovisual recordings of millions of American citizens in its three-year effort to compile the largest "gonzo" pornographic tape of all time. What men, women, teens, and...
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Funny story: Costco woos millennials and illegals

Costco woos millennials and illegals

A NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR YOU -- Costco's sales have declined as millennials take their place as adults in society's workforce. Used to living at home and having mom and dad foot their bills, many of the latest generation don't want to own a house, muc...
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Funny story: Flying Thai

Flying Thai

BANGKOK, THAILAND - Thailand's Politically Correct (PC) Air has hired a bevy of beautiful flight attendants, but they're stewardesses with a "difference": they started life as men! Peter Chann, the airline's president, says he believes in "equal e...
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Funny story: West Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country

West Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country

ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire." "How dare they tell me how to...
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Funny story: George W. Bush to award Snowden Presidential Medal of Freedom

George W. Bush to award Snowden Presidential Medal of Freedom

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!, TEXASS -- Former U. S. president George W. Bush is reportedly considering penning a retroactive executive order awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whistle-blower Edward Snowden. "He's a patriot for exposing...
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Funny story: "Sexist" transgender model disses genetic girls

"Sexist" transgender model disses genetic girls

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW -- Carmen Cajones, a transgender model and former contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race, has been rebuked by the lesbian gay bisexual transgender (LGBT) community for her"sexist" and "misogynistic" remarks about women. "They...
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Funny story: Mexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm

Mexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican Drug lord Nazario Moreno was killed again on Sunday, when federal forces shot him during a firefight. It was the second time since 2010 that the bandito was killed by authorities. "He is persistent for a dead man," a...
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Funny story: Snowden: Big Brother is watching every move you make

Snowden: Big Brother is watching every move you make

WHITEWSHINGTON, DC - According to top secret files released by Edward Snowden, the U. S. government plans to tap into employees' computers across the nation and, indeed, around the world, monitoring their every keystroke, telephone call, and emai...
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Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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