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Funny story: Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

GRANTS LICK, KY-Jason Moribund, 57, a lifelong resident of northern Kentucky, was pre-planning his funeral at Swindler and Curry Funeral Home last Friday night when he suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. The owner of the funeral home, C...
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Funny story: Black Suspect Who Died in Police Custody Suffered from a Pre-existing Condition (Actually, Two)

Black Suspect Who Died in Police Custody Suffered from a Pre-existing Condition (Actually, Two)

NEW YORK-A black suspect who died from a chokehold while in police custody apparently, according to the coroner who examined the body on Wednesday, suffered from the pre-existing condition of mortality. Rashawn Williams, the 27 year old suspect, w...
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Funny story: McDahmer's: The Newest Venture in Sustainable Living

McDahmer's: The Newest Venture in Sustainable Living

OAK BROOK, IL - Mickey D's has announced its newest venture in sustainable living--or, as some foodies across the nation are calling it, "sustainable eating." The venture is called McDahmer's, and is named after the serial killer Jeffery Dahmer,...
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Funny story: The Biosphere Reportedly on Life Support

The Biosphere Reportedly on Life Support

EARTH-The Biosphere, the global sum of all the ecosystems on Earth, is reportedly on life support, says its children Geosphere, Hydrosphere, Cryosphere, and Atmosphere. Biosphere, which has been suffering from a number of terminal conditions for d...
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Funny story: Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

BOWLING GREEN, KY-Libertarian firebrand Rand Paul has apparently contracted Ebola from a virus that was carried all the way to Bowling Green, Kentucky, via La Nina, from Liberia. Paul contracted the deadly virus only days after telling Concord N...
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Funny story: Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

WEST BANK-A number of Dead Sea Squirrels, found in one of the Qumran Caves in a large plateau near the West Bank, have stunned archeologists at the nearby Qumran National Park who are investigating them. The Dead Sea Squirrels, six of them sta...
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Funny story: CDC Issues a Level 3 Warning Against the FNV, or FOX News Virus

CDC Issues a Level 3 Warning Against the FNV, or FOX News Virus

ATLANTA, GA-The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) today issued a Level 3 warning against a new, potentially contagious virus it is calling FNV, or the FOX News Virus. The FNV, explained Dr. Samuel Grimes of the CDC, is highly communicable, especiall...
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Funny story: To Woo Women Voters, Republicans to Hand Out Free Rape Kits at Their National Convention in 2016

To Woo Women Voters, Republicans to Hand Out Free Rape Kits at Their National Convention in 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C.-With Barack Obama winning the women's vote nearly 56% to 44% over his challenger Mitt Romney, Republicans are poised, in 2016, to woo back the women's vote. Their secret plan: To hand out free rape kits to women leading up to and a...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
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Funny story: Budget-Strapped Red States to Use Gladiatorial Fights to Raise Much-needed Funds for Infrastructure Repairs

Budget-Strapped Red States to Use Gladiatorial Fights to Raise Much-needed Funds for Infrastructure Repairs

RED STATE AMERICA--With so many states still strapped for funds after their Republican-led legislatures cut their budgets to the bone, and with gambling casinos and racinos no longer producing enough to make up for the deficit, some Red States are tr...
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Funny story: Nationally Syndicated Life Coach Throws in the Towel

Nationally Syndicated Life Coach Throws in the Towel

PORTLAND, OR-- Vitalia Effervesce, nationally known Life Coach and host of the daily advice show Shine On You, committed suicide Monday by downing a bottle of Xanax washed down with a fifth of Jim Beam. Effervesce, author of the New Age bible Let...
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Funny story: A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." KJV Matthew 5:28 Jesus knew it. Wives know it too. A man whose eyes are constantly wandering will often wander, s...
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Funny story: Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

LAS VEGAS-Her parents proudly filming her with their cell phone, nine year old Violet Burton bagged her first human on Tuesday with an Uzi submachine gun. The Burtons had gone to Las Vegas to vacation, and their itinerary included hunting humans i...
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Funny story: The Holy Trinity to Go Their Separate Ways

The Holy Trinity to Go Their Separate Ways

HEAVEN--After existing for nearly two millennia as consubstantial roommates, the Holy Trinity--God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit--are splitting up. Theologians thought they had settled the debate of the Holy Trinity more than a...
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Funny story: New DNA Evidence Reveals That the Virgin Mary Was Not a Virgin

New DNA Evidence Reveals That the Virgin Mary Was Not a Virgin

ROME--Biblical scholars have long been puzzled by a passage by a man named Baruch, in the apocryphal text of the same name, which reads, "Yeah. I hit on that. She was a nice piece of ass, though a bit of a holy roller for my taste." Although schol...
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Funny story: Ebola Virus Tweets: "Keep Donald Trump Out of Here"

Ebola Virus Tweets: "Keep Donald Trump Out of Here"

MONROVIA, LIBERIA--An Ebola virus today tweeted: "Heard Donald Trump will visit Africa in a few days. Please don't let this form of vermin in. Keep Donald Trump out of here!" The Ebola virus was apparently responding to rumors that Donald Trump...
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Funny story: Senate Passes Deportation Bill to Fast-Track Ted Cruz's Return to Canada

Senate Passes Deportation Bill to Fast-Track Ted Cruz's Return to Canada

WASHINGTON-The Senate, before leaving on its month-long vacation on Thursday, passed a bill in the early morning hours to fast-track the deportation of Ted Cruz back to his native country of Canada. The vote on the Bill, which was, as usual, expe...
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Funny story: The Three Abrahamic Religions to Battle It Out in a Cage Fight

The Three Abrahamic Religions to Battle It Out in a Cage Fight

JERUSALEM--Settling, once and for all, the Old Testament challenge, "Whose God is greater, mine or thine?" the three Abrahamic religions--Judaism, Christianity, and Islam--will meet in a cage fight in Jerusalem next week. Three champions have been c...
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Showing page 1 (of 6 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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