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Funny story: The Republican Party Rewrites the Constitution

The Republican Party Rewrites the Constitution

WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Republican Party, responding to the powerful Tea Party faction of its base (which assures the GOP establishment that it knows the original intent of the founding fathers even more than the founders themselves could have known it...
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Funny story: GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In what Dr. Amir Sudhardi, the colorectal surgeon who performed the operation, is calling one of the world's first crucilectomies, the GOP today had a huge crucifix removed from its rectum. The cross, which had been hobbling the Re...
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Funny story: Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

HOT SPRINGS, ARK--Donald Trump, speaking out of an aperture that he customarily uses for sitting, spoke, in a low bass voice, to his admirers at a campaign event in Arkansas, saying, "I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for...
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Funny story: Getting God Back in School

Getting God Back in School

A disclaimer: I first published this in the mid-1980's in a college newspaper, as a graduate student at the University of Kentucky. I guess what goes around comes around! What's all this fuss about Accuracy in Academia? My acquaintance, the ren...
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Funny story: GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

WASHINGTON, D. C.--Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrow, the GOP announced today that it is going to "consciously uncouple" from its long-time partner, Donald Trump. Ever since Trump announced his bid for the presidency in mid-June, the couple, frie...
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Funny story: Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C.-This week in downtown Washington, two people were killed and seven injured in the quadrennial melee known as the Running of the Republicans. Rare in the Running of the Republicans, one bull was also killed when he was gored by a...
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Funny story: Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
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Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...
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Funny story: Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...
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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
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Funny story: An Asteroid Strikes the Creation Museum, Wiping Out All the Animatronic Dinosaurs

An Asteroid Strikes the Creation Museum, Wiping Out All the Animatronic Dinosaurs

PETERSBURG, KY-On Wednesday, an asteroid struck the Creation Museum run by the biblical apologist organization Answers in Genesis, wiping out all of the animatronic dinosaurs that have been a part of the Museum's exhibit since its opening in 2007.
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Funny story: It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't." Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic ph...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

HOUSTON, TX--Aspiring presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Ted Cruz has taken a page from left-leaning populist and one-time presidential candidate John Edwards, to draw attention to what he is calling the "two Americas," comprising, in his v...
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Funny story: FOX News: March at Selma? There Was a March at Selma? Again?

FOX News: March at Selma? There Was a March at Selma? Again?

SELMA, AL--On Saturday FOX News sent a number of their best-known anchors and talk show hosts--Brit Hume, Bill O'Reilly, Steve Doocy, Megyn Kelly, Bret Baier, and Laura Ingraham, among others--to cover the 50th anniversary of the historic March in Se...
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Funny story: John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, and Benjamin Netanyahu Caught In Sexual Congress

John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, and Benjamin Netanyahu Caught In Sexual Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C.-Security guards at the Capitol on Tuesday found Rep. John Boehner, Sen. Mitch McConnell, and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu having sexual congress in one of its bathrooms, only minutes before the Prime Minister of Israel gave his...
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Funny story: Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance

Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance

Stephenville, TX-Ten year old Ronnie Rae Simmons, who suffers from Asperger's, Tourette's Syndrome, and Dyslexia, may well spend the rest of his life in detention, if school officials at Audie Murphy Elementary have anything to say about it. The elev...
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Funny story: Miraculously, Televangelist Joyce Meyer Gives Birth at Age 71

Miraculously, Televangelist Joyce Meyer Gives Birth at Age 71

Fenton, MO--In what many of her followers are calling a miracle, televangelist Joyce Meyer on Tuesday gave birth at the age of 71. The wildly successful televangelist from Missouri reportedly gave birth to a two thousand pound cash cow at St. Clare...
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Showing page 1 (of 7 pages)
Breaking News...

L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation

"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
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