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Funny story:  Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...
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Funny story:  Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

HUNTINGTON, WV--The Robert C. Byrd Bridge, a bridge spanning the Ohio River between Chesapeake, OH and Huntington, WV, collapsed on Thursday, killing twenty-two members of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party activists were reportedly on their way...
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Funny story:  "God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

"God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week

HOLLYWOOD--The sequel to "God's Not Dead" will hit the theaters next week, and the much-anticipated sequel is, like the first movie, expected to fill theaters with evangelical fervor, only this time from the opposite side of the debate. In "God's...
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Funny story:  Tween Phenom the Next Tiger Woods of Competitive Eating?

Tween Phenom the Next Tiger Woods of Competitive Eating?

SPARTA, KY--Kyle Gustibus may not be a household name at this point, but if the young athlete keeps working out with his Munchables and WarmPockets, he may be the next Tiger Woods of competitive eating. The residents of Sparta, Kentucky have been...
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Funny story:  In a Stunning Decision, the Supreme Court Declares Adult Swim Unconstitutional

In a Stunning Decision, the Supreme Court Declares Adult Swim Unconstitutional

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In a seven to two decision today, the Supreme Court declared the long-time tradition of adult swim, during which a swimming pool is emptied of anyone under the age of 18 so the adults can swim without interference for ten to fifteen...
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Funny story:  J. P. Sartre Warns of "Existential Threat" to the English Language

J. P. Sartre Warns of "Existential Threat" to the English Language

NO EXIT--Angrily tweeting from his otherworldly residence No Exit last Thursday, renowned Existentialist philosopher J. P. Sartre warned of "Idiotic pundits bandying about the phrase 'existential threats' who have never read a word of Kierkegaard, N...
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Funny story:  Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
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Funny story:  Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome. "Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during...
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Funny story:  GOP House Moves to Impeach President Obama for Lying About a Parking Ticket in 1984

GOP House Moves to Impeach President Obama for Lying About a Parking Ticket in 1984

WASHINGTON, DC--The Republican House today moved to impeach President Obama for lying about a parking ticket he received in 1984 while attending Columbia University. The young Barack Obama, at the time a student at Columbia majoring in Political Sci...
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Funny story:  Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

SAN ANTONIA, TX--A gunfight today broke out between the leader of the Open-Carry Movement, Tex "Small Sack" O'Laury, and the CEO of the National Rifle Association, Wayne "Wacko" LaPierre. The gunfight erupted after a spokesperson for the NRA called...
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Funny story:  Prospective 2016 GOP Candidates to Be Subject to a Science Test

Prospective 2016 GOP Candidates to Be Subject to a Science Test

Nearly everyone remembers that moment in the May 2008 Republican debate in which the candidates were asked whether or not they believed in evolution, and three out of the ten participants raised their hands to indicate they didn't. In fact, as recent...
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Funny story:  Republican Contract on America 2014

Republican Contract on America 2014

WASHINGTON, D.C.--As Obstructionist Members of the House of Representatives and as citizens seeking to join that august body, we propose not just to change its policies, but even more important, to restore the bonds of trust between the well-paid lo...
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Funny story:  Morning News Shows Feature New Tally: The Weekly Domestic Body Count

Morning News Shows Feature New Tally: The Weekly Domestic Body Count

In response to the almost weekly reports of mass shootings across the US, many morning news shows are now including, among their morning segments, a weekly domestic body count of the number of victims lost to gun violence across the country. Now,...
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Funny story:  Student Misses Final Exam After His Dog Eats His Grandmother

Student Misses Final Exam After His Dog Eats His Grandmother

OXFORD, OH--Tragically, a student at Miami University, who had already lost three of his grandmothers earlier in the semester, lost his fourth grandmother when his dog, a pit-bull named Gator, ate her the night before his final exam. The dog the...
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Funny story:  Betty J. Eadie, Author of Embraced by the Light, Has a Nearly Death Experience

Betty J. Eadie, Author of Embraced by the Light, Has a Nearly Death Experience

BELLEVUE, WA-Betty J. Eadie, author of the NY Times best-seller Embraced by the Light, about her near death experience (NDE) at the age of 31, had a nearly death experience while she was out walking her Miniature Schnauzer, Angelina, last Thursday e...
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Funny story:  Ken Hamm to Teach a Geology Class at Bob Jones University

Ken Hamm to Teach a Geology Class at Bob Jones University

GREENVILLE, SC--Dr. Stephen Jones, president of Bob Jones University, announced today that the controversial college (which only allowed interracial dating beginning in 2000), would now enter the nineteenth century and allow the teaching of Geology a...
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Funny story:  Ninth Grader Wins Science Medal at his Oklahoma High School for Three-Drug Lethal Injection Protocol

Ninth Grader Wins Science Medal at his Oklahoma High School for Three-Drug Lethal Injection Protocol

TULSA, OKLA--A ninth grader in Tulsa has won his class' science medal for developing a three-drug protocol to put inmates to death on death row in the "Sooner State," as its residents proudly call Oklahoma. Richie Westerman, who submitted his pro...
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Funny story:  Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan to Reunite for "When Harry Met Cialis"

Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan to Reunite for "When Harry Met Cialis"

HOLLYWOOD--Rob Reiner, director of the highly acclaimed romantic comedyWhen Harry Met Sally, announced today that he is bringing back Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in a sequel to the original film called When Harry Met Cialis. This story picks up tw...
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Breaking News...

John Walsh's PTSD doctor in plagiarism scandal

Army doctor filed the same medical review hundreds of times for soldiers looking to get tax free disability pay!

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