Showing:

Showing stories written by Matt Birkenhauer

Try another search?

Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)
Funny story: Darth Money Announces His Candidacy for President in 2016

Darth Money Announces His Candidacy for President in 2016

WASHINGTON, D. C.--Darth Money, representing the newly-formed Sith Party, has announced his candidacy for President of the United Empire. Funded largely through 501 non-profits and similar organizations, Darth Money is running on a platform that i...
View 'Darth Money Announces His Candidacy for President in 2016'
Funny story: Other Othered from Support Group Forms Another Other Support Group

Other Othered from Support Group Forms Another Other Support Group

Seattle, OR--Andrew Yin, an Asian, trans-masculine, non-binary, tri-partisan Republican has quit his support group for Asian, trans-masculine, non-binary, tri-partisan Independents to form his own support group after feeling that he was "othered" b...
View 'Other Othered from Support Group Forms Another Other Support Group'
Funny story: Next Republican Debate to be Held in a Virginia Daycare Center

Next Republican Debate to be Held in a Virginia Daycare Center

WASHINGTON, DC--A number of staff members from this year's Republican presidential contenders met in a suburb of Virginia on Sunday to hash out the details for the next Republican debate, to be held, one spokesperson from the meeting said, at a dayc...
View 'Next Republican Debate to be Held in a Virginia Daycare Center'
Funny story: Donald Trump's Alter Ego Announces his Candidacy

Donald Trump's Alter Ego Announces his Candidacy

NEW YORK--Ronald Chump, the alter ego of media-hog Donald Trump, today announced his candidacy for president, saying that he was running for president because all of the other candidates were "low energy" and "losers" and incapable of "making Americ...
View 'Donald Trump's Alter Ego Announces his Candidacy'
Funny story: Amid Rising Poll Numbers, Ben Carson Announces the World Is Flat

Amid Rising Poll Numbers, Ben Carson Announces the World Is Flat

DOG'S TICK, AL--At a campaign event in Alabama on Tuesday, Ben Carson announced to an enthusiastic crowd, many of whom were near the top half of their graduating class in high school, that the world is not, as has been maintained since the fifteent...
View 'Amid Rising Poll Numbers, Ben Carson Announces the World Is Flat'
Funny story: Born Again Stripper Refuses to Strip at the Brass Ass Because of Her Religious Convictions

Born Again Stripper Refuses to Strip at the Brass Ass Because of Her Religious Convictions

NEWPORT, KY--Proclaiming that her soul now stands naked before Jesus, Pinky Boudoir, a stripper at the Brass Ass in Newport, Kentucky, said that her religious beliefs no longer allow her to strip at her place of employment. Her employer, Harry T...
View 'Born Again Stripper Refuses to Strip at the Brass Ass Because of Her Religious Convictions'
Funny story: Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

WASHINGTON, D.C.--House Republicans today threatened to shut down the government unless the US Postal Service comes out with a new memorial stamp honoring free-market hero Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand, who was already memorialized in a postage stamp that ca...
View 'Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand'
Funny story: Citing Irreconcilable Differences, Jesus Files for Divorce from Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis

Citing Irreconcilable Differences, Jesus Files for Divorce from Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis

HEAVEN--Jesus today, through his lawyers, filed for divorce from Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis. Citing himself (Matthew 7: 1-2), Jesus said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measur...
View 'Citing Irreconcilable Differences, Jesus Files for Divorce from Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis'
Funny story: Scientists Find the Remains of Homo Moderatus Republicanus in a Parking Lot in Columbus, OH

Scientists Find the Remains of Homo Moderatus Republicanus in a Parking Lot in Columbus, OH

Columbus, OH--Archeologists from Ohio State University, in a dig in a parking lot where an Elks Club once stood, announced that they had found the now extinct, but once fairly common, remains of a species they are calling Homo Moderatus Republicanus.
View 'Scientists Find the Remains of Homo Moderatus Republicanus in a Parking Lot in Columbus, OH'
Funny story: Trump Announces He's an Atheist Who Eats Pâté Made from the Livers of Unborn Fetuses; His Poll Numbers Soar

Trump Announces He's an Atheist Who Eats Pâté Made from the Livers of Unborn Fetuses; His Poll Numbers Soar

MACON, GA-At a campaign event held last Wednesday at Trump Arena in Macon, GA, Donald Trump announced that he is an atheist who often dines on pâté made from the livers of unborn fetuses. Political pundits following Trump's comments at his campaign e...
View 'Trump Announces He's an Atheist Who Eats Pâté Made from the Livers of Unborn Fetuses; His Poll Numbers Soar'
Funny story: The Republican Party Rewrites the Constitution

The Republican Party Rewrites the Constitution

WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Republican Party, responding to the powerful Tea Party faction of its base (which assures the GOP establishment that it knows the original intent of the founding fathers even more than the founders themselves could have known it...
View 'The Republican Party Rewrites the Constitution'
Funny story: GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In what Dr. Amir Sudhardi, the colorectal surgeon who performed the operation, is calling one of the world's first crucilectomies, the GOP today had a huge crucifix removed from its rectum. The cross, which had been hobbling the Re...
View 'GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass'
Funny story: Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

HOT SPRINGS, ARK--Donald Trump, speaking out of an aperture that he customarily uses for sitting, spoke, in a low bass voice, to his admirers at a campaign event in Arkansas, saying, "I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for...
View 'Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event'
Funny story: Getting God Back in School

Getting God Back in School

A disclaimer: I first published this in the mid-1980's in a college newspaper, as a graduate student at the University of Kentucky. I guess what goes around comes around! What's all this fuss about Accuracy in Academia? My acquaintance, the ren...
View 'Getting God Back in School'
Funny story: GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

WASHINGTON, D. C.--Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrow, the GOP announced today that it is going to "consciously uncouple" from its long-time partner, Donald Trump. Ever since Trump announced his bid for the presidency in mid-June, the couple, frie...
View 'GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump'
Funny story: Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C.-This week in downtown Washington, two people were killed and seven injured in the quadrennial melee known as the Running of the Republicans. Rare in the Running of the Republicans, one bull was also killed when he was gored by a...
View 'Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans'
Funny story: Jeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

Jeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
View 'Jeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President'
Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...
View 'Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day'

Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)
Breaking News...

Message To Marco Rubio:


If you wish to express the incompetence of the President, you must express it in a competent way.

Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

5 21 10 7
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more