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Archaeologists Discover Ancient Frozen Pizzas

Funny story: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Frozen Pizzas

Pizzas that were frozen during the Little Ice Age centuries ago have been discovered in Northern Europe. Papa John Piloe and his team of archaeologists raced against the clock recently to collect the ancient pizzas exposed from rapidly melting ice i...

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Obamas to guest star on HGTV's Love It or List It

HGTV's Love It or List It will feature President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama in an upcoming episode. With the help of designer Hilary Farr and realtor David Visentin, the couple will decide whether or not their current home, The W...

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God Announces Recall

In a surprise statement, today God announced a recall of humans. All makes and models of the species Homo sapiens are affected. Although no single factor was mentioned as the cause that triggered today's announcement, records and interviews show th...

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AT&T Commercial Features Neurotic Teenage Stalker

AT&T has unveiled its latest TV commercial, "Silent Treatment." The spot is intended to celebrate the advantage of having AT&T's messaging plan. It opens with the new spokeswoman for AT&T, a neurotic teenage girl, sitting in her room...

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Santorum to make Cubit official unit of measurement

A spokesperson for Rick Santorum has announced that if elected President, he intends to adopt the Biblical Cubit as the official unit of linear measurement for the United States. This change would encompass all U.S. Government Departments and Agenci...

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Dial Introduces Left Guard Deodorant

The Dial Corporation has announced plans to introduce Left Guard deodorant. Left Guard will be positioned for the sports enthusiast, and TV commercials will feature famous left-handed athletes such as Reggie Jackson, Bruce Jenner, Bill Walton an...

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A1 Steak Sauce Downgraded to A3

Ratings agency Standard & Poor's has downgraded A1 Steak Sauce from A1 to A3, while Heinz 57 has been placed on negative outlook. The US recently lost its top-tier AAA rating from S&P. One of the main reasons cited for the downgrade is tha...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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