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Funny story: Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands. The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of b...
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Funny story: Cameron offers British sovereignty to mainland Argentina

Cameron offers British sovereignty to mainland Argentina

Cristina Kirchner is reported to have reacted furiously to a letter from David Cameron detailing his proposition for a "Yes/No" British sovereignty referendum on mainland Argentina. The letter, which was apparently intended as an April fool and a...
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Funny story: Pope Francis - Pesto worse than paedophilia

Pope Francis - Pesto worse than paedophilia

Chaos reigned on Vatican City last night after The Pope used a televised interview in which he was supposed to be confronting the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal to passionately condemn pesto. When asked how he intended to rebuild The Church an...
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Funny story: Olympics: Nepal registers Yeti for 100 metres

Olympics: Nepal registers Yeti for 100 metres

The Nepalese Olympic Committee was ridiculed last night after announcing its intention to field The Yeti in the 100 metres sprint at London 2012. During a press conference in Kathmandu, Committee Chairman Prem Hayu insisted that the time was righ...
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Funny story: Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

News filtered in last night that The Devil is set to be investigated by a team of professionals from Trading Standards after accusations that he has been offering poor deals to people wishing to sell their souls. In the past The Devil has been kno...
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Funny story: Al Qaeda attempt to claim responsibility for introducing invasive crayfish into British waters

Al Qaeda attempt to claim responsibility for introducing invasive crayfish into British waters

Scratchy video footage released on jihadist internet forums last night appears to show an Al Qaeda spokesman attempting to claim responsibility for the devastating invasion of foreign crayfish on British waters. The signal crayfish was thought to...
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Funny story: Banana thrower cleared of racial abuse on grounds that he's been living under a rock for the last forty years

Banana thrower cleared of racial abuse on grounds that he's been living under a rock for the last forty years

A massive racist who had been caught on camera throwing bananas at a Premier League football player was cleared of all charges of racial abuse at Preston Crown Court yesterday after it was revealed that he'd been living under a rock since 1972. G...
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Funny story: Beached Sea Bream Stuns Marine Biologists By Holding Its Breath For 12 Hours

Beached Sea Bream Stuns Marine Biologists By Holding Its Breath For 12 Hours

A North Sea sea bream left residents of Fallshore flabbergasted yesterday as it beached itself and then held its breath for 12 whole hours while it waited for the tide to come back in. The sea bream, whose name is Jerry, stubbornly refused to acce...
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Funny story: Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and has been sparked by revelations that the French...
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Bill Clinton: U. S. can't win ground war vs. Iraq

Bill Clinton insists the U. S. armed forces cannot win a land war against Iraq "or any other country, no matter how many booties are on the ground, because there are too many gays in the military."

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