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Funny story: Nigel Farage to claim asylum in France

Nigel Farage to claim asylum in France

UKIP party leader and national joke Nigel Farage has lodged a claim to seek political asylum in France. He has reportedly grown weary of constant embarrassments from his own party, and never-ending insults and criticism from everyone else in Britain.
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Funny story: Bra man's future ruined by prank

Bra man's future ruined by prank

A Dorking man who became trapped in a bra on a stag night has been informed that he may have to live the rest of his life as a woman after the item of ladies' underwear could not be removed. Barry Gusset, 36, of Truncheon Lane, Dorking, was on an...
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Funny story: Could Britain's government be hung like Turkey's?

Could Britain's government be hung like Turkey's?

The time has come once again for the will of the British people to be made public, judged and measured in an up coming election. Expectations are that it will have become limper since last time. Polls are twitching with the news that Britain's cox (t...
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Funny story: What were people wearing at this years' Oscars?

What were people wearing at this years' Oscars?

A few eyebrows were raised at the Oscars last week when Beyoncé came onstage dressed in a strapless armoire. But among the young and the trendy, she was only copying a style they have been wearing for years. Many interested journalists wanted to k...
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Funny story: Pensioners' bus trip goes awry

Pensioners' bus trip goes awry

A group of Dorking pensioners' bus trip to the south of France suffered a mishap yesterday when a satnav error led the driver to deliver the elderly tourists to a euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. Sadly all seventeen of the passengers were slaughtere...
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Funny story: Putin warns Ukraine, "Watch your steppe"

Putin warns Ukraine, "Watch your steppe"

Russian President Vladimir Putin warned Ukraine and its Western allies against supporting any further actions in the ongoing non-conflict between the two former Soviet nations. Putin complained that enemy forces had already attacked Russian forces wi...
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Funny story: Labour promise to increase paternity pub time

Labour promise to increase paternity pub time

In a shock move which may actually increase his popularity, Labour leader Ed Miliband has promised that if he wins the next election, he will increase the amount of pub-time for new fathers from two weeks to four weeks. It is sure to be a popular...
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Funny story: Robot fire station shut down

Robot fire station shut down

After a disastrous eight months, the world's first fully automated fire station in Dorking has had to close down. The station opened in the summer after the town's last fireman got stuck in a tree and died. In an attempt to cut costs and to showc...
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Funny story: Human remains found in Japanese beef

Human remains found in Japanese beef

A shock discovery of human flesh in a consignment of Japanese luxury beef has revealed a bizarre and disturbing trend among immigrants to the country that invented karaoke. Private detective Shiroki Homiru, 47, from Tokyo, was called when a local...
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Funny story: Dung-powered car factories pushing one out every minute

Dung-powered car factories pushing one out every minute

It is the future of motoring and it is here today. No doubt most drivers would sniff at a faeces-powered vehicle, but increasing numbers of customers are buying them. In the last year 10,000 were sold in the UK, where they are particularly popular am...
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Funny story: Parties target bloated voters

Parties target bloated voters

When it comes to marginal seats, noone knows more than fat people. That's why in the upcoming election, the most sought-after votes are those of the overweight. The plump form a huge demographic, literally. Studies show that 58% of the UK populati...
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Funny story: Seven-way bare-knuckle fighting to replace political debate

Seven-way bare-knuckle fighting to replace political debate

The UK general election is only four months away, and TV companies are gagging for an exciting televised showdown between the main contenders. But instead of a debate, there is to be a bare-knuckle fight between all seven of the main party leaders, b...
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Funny story: Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

The white rhino is now effectively extinct. The last female is no longer able to reproduce, and it's all Elton John's fault. In November, Mr John was on holiday visiting the Um Bongo game reserve in Kenya with his husband David Furnish, when he pa...
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Funny story: UKIP to become a religion

UKIP to become a religion

Oddball anti-European vote-rigging outfit UKIP have announced that as of next Monday, they will no longer be just a political party. They have registered to become an official religion in the UK as well. The group will still stand in the upcoming...
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Funny story: Religious nuts bomb art gallery

Religious nuts bomb art gallery

Members of a sun-worshipping cult called the Followers of Ra have bombed the Sinom Hairball Art Gallery in London today. Nobody was injured, but a number of paintings were completely or partially destroyed. The leader of the group, Jemery Madd, cl...
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Funny story: Useless Gadget Show Returns

Useless Gadget Show Returns

This week, the annual F***ing Useless Gadget Show (FUGS) has been held in Las Vegas, with companies from around the world exhibiting the latest useless products they desperately want you to buy. I went down there to have a look, says roving reporter...
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Funny story: Politically correct play slammed

Politically correct play slammed

A new play which hit the West End of London this week has been raising attention for all the wrong reasons. Critics claim that "The Vikings" suffers from excessive political correctness. Theatre reviewer Assy Watson complained, "It's bonkers! Ther...
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Funny story: 1970s cop films to make a return

1970s cop films to make a return

2015 is looking to be a bumper year at the box office. Not only is there the prequel to Harry Potter to look forward to (entitled The Young Harry Potter), but there is also the sequel to The Hobbit franchise, Tolkien The Piss. Cop films with a 197...
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Showing page 1 (of 11 pages)
Breaking News...

Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief

Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
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