Well, as the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations gently wind to a close across the nation, and Cliff Richard gets put back in his box until Wimbledon, shocking news reaches us here in 'newsland' of Her Majesty's verdict on the long weekend's events,...
After the recent television advertisements featuring former footballer, nut squasher and now Hollywood actor, Vinnie Jones, promoting the application of chest compressions to the rhythm of the Bee Gees smash hit tune, 'Staying Alive', government bigw...
Stunning news reaches us that due to unforeseen circumstances, the Olympic Games are to be relocated to an alternative site.
Commenting today, Boris Johnson said that the original site will not be ready in time, so the Games are to be moved to wh...
Hot off the press, news has reached us that London Mayor, Boris 'Frightwig' Johnson is to play a major role in the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games this year, to be held in the capital city.
Having long been an advocate to bring the games to...
After the right royal stink created by reported plans of a new yacht as a gift to the Queen to commemorate her 60 years on the throne, it has been reported today that those plans have now been scrapped in favour of a much cheaper, tax payer friendly...
A glaring omission from this years New Years Honours list has seen tv celebrity/former 'singer' and media ho Kerry Katona express her disbelief yesterday.
Speaking from the star studded gala that closed the 'Save a Chav for Crimbo' charity campaig...
Incredible news has reached us that Prime Minister David Cameron has taken his Christmas festivities a tad to far and has clearly shown he is not exempt from the long arm of the law.
After a heavy political year for 'Dave', which saw unions throwi...
So exclusive, it is exclusively exclusive, news reaches us that human blow up doll, Katie Price is set to undergo the world's first total head transplant.
An aficionado of cosmetic surgery, Ms. Price has become a little bored of the more popular s...
As reported some days ago, everyone's favourite aussie-greek, (do we actually know any others?..Ed.) Peter Andre, launched his new skincare range for men, 'Silli-cleanse by Andre'. Well our sources say that it is already this Christmas's number one s...
With Christmas fast approaching, news reaches us that Simon Cowell and his merry band of brown nosers are not the only ones off on an annual winter break this year.
After many years of loyal service, Sir Bruce Forsythe's wig, Stanley, is off on a...
Yes, showbiz fans, here at news headquarters we cannot quite believe it either (in fact our editor choked on his weight-watchers muesli bar when the stunning news came in) but 'tis true!! Womanising, silver fox and star of 'Return of the killer tomat...
We do so love a love story here in news world, and we are thrilled to exclusively announce that 80's 'So Macho' warbler and Simon Cowell brown noser, Sinitta, is to marry her cockroach lover after a whirlwind romance.
During her recent stint in th...
Claims that Sir Jimmy Savile fathered various secret children go on and on, as today, ex-Atomic Kitten/tabloid ho, Kerry Katona, today shocked the nation with the revelation that she is one of them too!
'It's bloody well true,' she said today, as...
Tulisa Contostavlos, X Factor judge and 'N'Dubz' singer (yeh right, Ed.) has today launched this years charity campaign, to run over the festive season.
'Save a Chav for Crimbo' was launched today in Essex nightclub 'Slappers', by Ms. Contostavlos...
Hollywoood superstar, Sylvester 'Rocky' Stallone has this week tearfully revealed a long hidden secret...his love for the art of crochet. In an emotional interview with American confessional chat show host, Epiphany Fudge, the Rambo actor described c...
The much-loved reality star and greek knock-off, Peter Andre has sensationally revealed this week the reasons behind the breakdown of his marriage to human blow-up doll, Katie 'Jordan' Price.
The reasons for the crash and burn of his nuptuals were...
Dappy, the bobble headed gonk and singer (that's a laugh - Ed.) of British hip-hop group, 'N-Dubz,' has sensationally revealed that he is the love child of greek 70's love God and human marquee, Demis Roussos.
He was apparently conceived in the (e...
After comprehensive research by scientists in Geneva, proof has been published that the popular festive condiment of cranberry sauce not only compliments turkey, but also combats the misery of piles.
Over a duration of 6 months, experimental resea...