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Funny story: Greenspan Celebrates 143rd Birthday

Greenspan Celebrates 143rd Birthday

Alan Greenspan took a quick break Wednesday from his extremely boring job as Chairman of the Federal Reserve to celebrate his 143rd birthday with his family and co-workers. Greenspan, who was born the year Abraham Lincoln became president, gave brie...
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Funny story: Hells Angels to Take Over War on Terrorism

Hells Angels to Take Over War on Terrorism

The Bush Administration plans to announce this week that the legendary motorcycle gang, Hells Angels, will be taking over the struggling war on terrorism.
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Funny story: Howard Deans Opens Primal Scream Clinic

Howard Deans Opens Primal Scream Clinic

Howard Dean, the former governor of Vermont and embarrassing Democratic candidate for president, recently opened the Howard Dean Primal Scream Therapy Clinic in Burlington, Vt. The man who actually thought he had a chance at president found himself...
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Funny story: Nancy Reagan to Remarry

Nancy Reagan to Remarry

In a surprise announcement today, former first lady Nancy Reagan announced her summer plans to marry Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from the annoying band Def Leppard. Reagan and Allen met five years ago when Nancy showed up at a Def Leppard conc...
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Funny story: Al Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign

Al Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign

In a bold move this week, America's lovable loser, the Reverend Al Sharpton, officially kicked-off his 2008 campaign for President. Sharpton, who has been preaching since the age of three and running for president since the age of four, dropped out...
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Funny story: Bush Proposes Law To Ban Hating Him

Bush Proposes Law To Ban Hating Him

In response to the wildly popular Michael Moore documentary, Farenheit 9/11, President George Bush today proposed a new law which would make it a felony offense to hate him.
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Funny story: Top Doc Declares Smoking Okay

Top Doc Declares Smoking Okay

Dr. Stan Geldefson, the top doctor in Smackeyville, Iowa, announced this week that smoking is "okay, I guess."...
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Funny story: Cookie Monster to be Killed Off Sesame Street

Cookie Monster to be Killed Off Sesame Street

After years of making children laugh and crave sweets before breakfast, Cookie Monster is set to be killed off Sesame Street, an insider source reports. The lovable blue monster will meet his demise by the end of the summer season in a two-fold effo...
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Funny story: Baltimore, Detroit vie for Most Murders

Baltimore, Detroit vie for Most Murders

This year the nation is focused on one of the tightest races in history. The question on everyone's mind is not Kerry or Bush, but rather Baltimore or Detroit? Which city will take back the coveted homicide title that has eluded them in recent year...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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