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Funny story: Water Waste Of Time

Water Waste Of Time

One thing you can always rely on with BATTL News is that we will eventually come back with something irrelevant and pointless just when you thought we'd finally buggered off. Yet after discovering that a "Water Only Bar" was to open in London we k...
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Funny story: No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

Processed meat causes cancer! We were so shocked when we read (skimmed it and looked for pictures) the report, through a haze of Shisha smoke, we were outraged. We quickly like two cigarettes each to calm our nerves and called up the most sciency sci...
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Funny story: New Series Meltdown

New Series Meltdown

The X-Factor began this week with a massive ratings slump as the new line up of judges (The Dark Lord Cowell, Face and Boobs One, Face and Boobs Two and Some Bloke From the Radio we Suspect Might Actually Be A Cardboard Cutout) failed to draw in the...
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Funny story: New Immigration Test Reavealed

New Immigration Test Reavealed

Immigration is often spoke about in hushed tones and whispered corners by those afraid to be called "racist" for voicing an opinion. Not Australia. Their Prime Minister has repeatedly been at the forefront of his countries "battle" with illegal immig...
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Funny story: Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...
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Funny story: The iPhone 6: A Review

The iPhone 6: A Review

The new iPhone 6 (or 7 or 8 or maybe 9 we're not sure no-one tells us much these days) came out the other day (yeah we know we're behind with the story, shut up) with people queuing for up to ten days to buy one. Knowing we couldn't afford one and la...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

We at Back and to the Left news were going through some rich peoples rubbish (in an attempt to find priceless Faberge eggs that may have been discarded) when we came across a document. This sort of thing happens quite regularly to us so we didn't thi...
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Funny story: Liberal Policy Pratt

Liberal Policy Pratt

Nick Clegg's party (which would be finished by nine and the only music played would be Ed Sheeran songs) the Liberal Democrats have begun a pre-election panic. After realising that their in danger of getting less votes than a mime act on the X-Factor...
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Funny story: Luis Luis Why?

Luis Luis Why?

With all the fuss surrounding Luis Suarez and his biting of the one defender in the Italy team who looks like he could kill a bear with his bare hands, we decided to review the situation. We also decided that no matter how much we could beef up this...
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Funny story: PM's Tax-Payer Funded Trust Fund Uncovered

PM's Tax-Payer Funded Trust Fund Uncovered

Back and to the Left news has discovered a money pot created via taxpayers to fund ex-Prime Ministers in their public duties. After laughing so hard that our false teeth fell out we realised we hadn't been in a coma for the best part of the year and...
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Funny story: Chinese UK Visit Takeaway

Chinese UK Visit Takeaway

The Chinese Premier has visited London this week for talks with the PM over forging more business links with the UK. We at Back and to the Left news aren't naive and we know that trade=good, but we also can't resist sticking our opinions in where the...
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Funny story: EU Salad Situations

EU Salad Situations

Scandal, corruption and buggery are all word we associate with the EU and the MEPs that inhabit the corridors of their Brussels hive. Scurrying like parasites looking for the next teat of the taxpayer to suckle at, growing fat on the efforts of those...
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Funny story: Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Nobody knows who should play in the England team better than millions of unqualified (sometimes drunk) coaches up and down the country. The world cup and the England team unites the country in a way only declaring war on the Germans used to. Back and...
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Funny story: Ed's Confusion

Ed's Confusion

In one year's time the UK will once again become embroiled in the messy, mudslinging, farce that is the General Election. A time when politicians up and down the country tell you what you want to hear before going back on every promise they mad. E...
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Funny story: Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

England's prison system (which has long been described as Butlins with bars) has fucked up yet again. Back and to the Left news has never understood the point of having a open prison, isn't that just a hotel that you don't pay for? If we ran a open p...
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Funny story: Right On Your Money

Right On Your Money

A young mum in East London is on the verge of losing "several thousand pounds" that had been pushed through her door on Christmas Eve. It was a surprise because normally in that area of London it's dog shit rather than twenty pound notes. The lady (w...
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Funny story: Obama Reviews Death Penalty

Obama Reviews Death Penalty

Back and to the Lefts News understands that Barack Obama has ordered a review into execution practices within the US prison system. An unnamed state has applied for permission to change it's execution technique from lethal injection to "Dropping The...
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Funny story: Good Boring Britain

Good Boring Britain

ITV's new flagship breakfast show "Good Morning Britain" rolled out yesterday and, as with anything, it proved to be a bitter disappointment. The show, spearheaded by Susanna Reid, promised to revolutionise breakfast TV but only really resulted in lo...
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Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)
Breaking News...

Congress Sit-Down Protest over Gun Control

Democrats spit dummy and demand to be heard over gun control. The mouse roared. First time for everything. Not a squeak from any over Obama's tyrannical 'executive orders'. Paving the way for Hillary.
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