Showing stories written by Backandtotheleft

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Funny story: Batman's Ginger Body Blow

Batman's Ginger Body Blow

Trouble was brewing in downtown Reading today after ginger activists stormed an independent comic book store demanding that "Batman's true colours be shown in the comic strip." The chromosome 16 challenged mob charged the building and took several...
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Funny story: Moscow Mashup

Moscow Mashup

Russian mafia boss Vladimir Putin has today declared that he is going to "fix" Turkey and Russia's relationship. He made the statement from a balcony overlooking thousands of Moscovites....Moscowellians....people in Moscow queuing up for a loaf of br...
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Funny story: The Pog Returns

The Pog Returns

In the most surprising move of the summers transfer window amateur rapper, style icon and part time footballer Paul Pogba has joined Manchester United in a word record £105million quid deal. The deal was finally pushed through in the early hours o...
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Funny story: Osborne v. the OBE

Osborne v. the OBE

So George Osborne is to receive a honour in Cameron's resignation honours list. Why anybody would want to receive a commendation from the Prime Minister who took us out of the European Union is beyond us but then again were not that educated. George,...
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Funny story: Midlands Muslim Mixup

Midlands Muslim Mixup

A Muslim woman was stopped at Doncaster airport yesterday after she was spotted reading a book of firsthand accounts from the Syrian conflict. Faizah Saheen was pulled aside into a separated area and questioned on why she was interested in the materi...
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Funny story: It's Grim For Grimshaw

It's Grim For Grimshaw

In the most careless display since Manchester United lost a 12 point lead to surrender the league title to Arsenal in 1997/98, startling figures have shown that Radio 1 has lost over a million listeners in the past year. Despite such entertaining fig...
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Funny story: Boko Haram Bites Back

Boko Haram Bites Back

In response to our exclusive piece on the Boko Haram leadership change, the old beady eyed leader Abubaker Shekau has launched a furious attack on his supposed replacement. But like most of Boko Haram's "furious attacks" it didn't really produce any...
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Funny story: No Interest In The Interest Rate

No Interest In The Interest Rate

The unthinkable has happened to our fair island and we're not talking about the three consecutive days of sun we've had. The UK has cut the interest rates to 0.25% we hit the streets and asked "normal" people what they thought about the cuts. Mike...
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Funny story: Transfer Speculation Part Three

Transfer Speculation Part Three

More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...
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Funny story: God No Show

God No Show

Police were called out to the village of "No" in Shropshire in the early hours of this morning after pensioners staged a riot over the "non appearance of God". Forty seven geriatrics were arrested for a variety of public order offences. The annual...
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Funny story: Boko Haram Musical Chairs

Boko Haram Musical Chairs

Legendary ass clown terrorist group Boko Haram have a new leader and much like gynaecologists they love a good cunt. The announcement was made in the latest issue of a IS magazine which doubles up as toilet paper in most countries it's sold in. Ab...
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Funny story: Walcott's Wing Worry

Walcott's Wing Worry

One of Arsenals professional injury specialists has came out in support of the new England manager and finally clarified the position he wants to play. Surprisingly it's not left back on the fracture ward. Theo Walcott has stated that he "wants' t...
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Funny story: Drinking By The Sea

Drinking By The Sea

In a drive to arrest falling numbers of visitors to our seaside towns one such place has taken drastic measures to ensure it's future. Sleepy Salminton On Sea has declared that every visitor over the age of 18 can claim a free bottle of wine upon arr...
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Funny story: The Horror Of It All: An Anthrax Outbreak

The Horror Of It All: An Anthrax Outbreak

An Anthrax outbreak in Northern Russia has put nine people in hospital where they remain critical but crucially still among the living. Luckily because of new advanced techniques in treating the infection contracting it is no longer the be all and en...
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Funny story: Feeding Frenzy In The Transfer Market

Feeding Frenzy In The Transfer Market

Premier League clubs have spent £475million in the month of July! Meaning on average £15.3 million a day, £634K a hour, £10K a minute and £177 a second is haemorrhaging out the clubs like blood from a stab victim. We grabbed one frightened officia...
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Funny story: Nigerian Email Scam Stopped

Nigerian Email Scam Stopped

The leading Nigerian email scammer was arrested today in the most surprising of places. Nigeria. Interpol had to tip their hat in appreciation to the local police force after not believing several tip offs about his location themselves. A Interpol...
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Funny story: Peps Pep Talk

Peps Pep Talk

Revolutionary visionary football guru Pep Guardiola has already placed his delicate mark of excellence over the Premier League. He has told professional athletes that "pizza" is banned. We believe this is to stop Gael Clichy ordering Dominos while he...
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Funny story: Plastic Bag Pregnancy

Plastic Bag Pregnancy

Plastic bag use has dropped in the UK after the 5p charge was brought in. Bag use has dropped by 6 billion causing environmental campaigners everywhere to celebrate by having polystyrene based bonfires. But a different side to the decrease of pla...
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Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate

Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.
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