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Don't cry for me Argentina, says Falklands

Funny story: Don't cry for me Argentina, says Falklands

The Falklands has filed for an injunction after receiving numerous drunk-texts and inappropriate phone calls from Argentina, it has emerged. The Falkland Islands last night confirmed it sent a letter to the UN filing for a restraining order on Ar...

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YouTube users cannot spell for shit, report finds

Funny story: YouTube users cannot spell for shit, report finds

YouTube users are unable to string even the simplest of sentences together, it has emerged. A new study by everyone who has ever used the internet has found that 96% of people who post comments on YouTube are unable to spell their own name, tell...

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American second amendment misinterpreted

Funny story: American second amendment misinterpreted

The American law that states US citizens have the right to bear arms was actually intended to allow people the right to arm bears, it has emerged. The ambiguous legal phrasing, which has been a topic of controversy in the states for years, is said...

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I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

Funny story: I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

Donor kebab has said it is tired of being a late-night booty call and wants men to admit to their relationship when sober and not only after consuming twenty-five Jaeger-bombs and enough ketamine to knock out a small bear. The statement came after...

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Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

Funny story: Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

A report by the Football Association has accidentally stumbled across information indicating that Sir Alex Ferguson is a Sith. The governing body was forced to launch an inquiry after various premiership clubs alleged that he had the ability to in...

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Ivanovic is largely horse meat, claims Suarez

Funny story: Ivanovic is largely horse meat, claims Suarez

Sometimes footballer Luis Suarez has refreshed public concern regarding the quality of imported meat in the UK by claiming that that Branislav Ivanovic is at least 30% horse meat. The Liverpool striker, who faced criticism this week for giving the...

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Mass global depression ahead of World Snooker Championships

Millions of people around the world have declared themselves clinically depressed at the thought of accidentally switching the channel over to this year's World Snooker Championships. An unofficial survey of semi-official, machine-washable televis...

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Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Funny story: Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Drink-spiking drug and racoon laxative, Rohypnol, actually counts as one of your five-a-day according to sometimes sex offender, Gavin McCloroform. Gavin, a thirty-eight-year-old dietician from Cardiff, claims the drug is misunderstood and with t...

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Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Funny story: Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...

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Banksy unveils art installation made of his own shit

Funny story: Banksy unveils art installation made of his own shit

Controversial street artist Banksy has unveiled an 8ft wall painting of a masturbating baby made entirely of his own shit. The piece entitled "Waaaaa Waaaaa Wanky" which is the first of seven excrement-based pieces Banksy intends to produce; will...

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Vocally impaired badger favourite to win 'The Voice'

Funny story: Vocally impaired badger favourite to win 'The Voice'

A badger with torettes and a severe speech impediment has been made the bookies favourite to win this year's tediously-familiar, televised singing-competition, The Voice. Roadkill, the six-year-old badger from Guernsey, blew the judges away with...

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"I'd probably bang Bale" - Warnock

Funny story: "I'd probably bang Bale" - Warnock

Self-proclaimed football manager Neil Warnock said Sunday that he received an incredible amount of sexual satisfaction from watching opponents score goals against his Queens Park Rangers team and sincerely hoped his spirited side would concede a buck...

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Man City to use Tevez as world's most expensive door stop

Manchester City F.C. said Thursday it has no intention of selling sometimes footballer Carlos Tevez to Corinthians in the January transfer window, instead opting to trigger a contract clause that would see the out-of-favour Argentinean serve as a do...

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Footballers too stupid to understand concept of racism, report finds

Premier league footballers are to be exonerated for their verbal controversies following the revelation that they are too inherently stupid to understand the literary connotations of what makes a given combination of words racist, a new study has fou...

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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