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What will I wipe it with?

Funny story: What will I wipe it with?

As the world recession deepens there is even worse news; toilet rolls are running low and in some places there's only a year or two of supplies left. Manufacturers are working hard to find an alternative but so far, they've come up with nothing. "...

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No more pane for Ford

Funny story: No more pane for Ford

Car giants Ford are to replace glass windows in cars with cling film. They realize now that with all the traffic in the inner cities its not worth the expense of putting windows in. "We'll pass the savings on to the customer and it will enable us...

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Big cat security

Funny story: Big cat security

Security at the 2012 Olympics will be as tight as its ever been but experts have said they are training up tigers to deal with any major trouble makers. "The eyes of the world will be on us and if we let trouble get out of hand we'll be the laughi...

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'Smell and tell' on the underground

Funny story: 'Smell and tell' on the underground

A special Police force is to be set up to patrol the London Underground but will having nothing to do with the Transport Police. The special unit will be called 'Smell and tell' and will be given special powers. "There's nothing worse than getting...

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Monkey parking

Funny story: Monkey parking

Councils in England and Wales are to start using Monkeys as parking wardens. Training the monkeys started eighteen months ago and some have passed there final tests with flying colours. "This is such a great move forward and frees up money for exp...

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Tevez: The real reason for his depression

Funny story: Tevez: The real reason for his depression

Carlos Trevez cuts a lonely figure as he walks the streets in the early hours of the morning in Argentina. Most of the world press are reporting he depressed as he isn't playing regularly football but we know the truth and there are two reasons. T...

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Rice hair cures bald man's hair-loss

Funny story: Rice hair cures bald man's hair-loss

Its thought a cure for baldness has finally been found and it was found by accident! Zen Mohawk is a rice picker working in the paddy fields in China and one day after a fight with his wife she poured cooked rice on his head. It's thought the man...

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Come Dancing at Shepherds Bush Green

Funny story: Come Dancing at Shepherds Bush Green

In an effort to raise much needed funds, the BBC is thinking of moving its popular show 'Strictly Come Dancing' to the summer and filming it on Shepherds Bush Green. "Due to cuts, we are finding it hard to afford the outfits for our couples, so s...

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Another hole due to farting

Funny story: Another hole due to farting

A second hole in the ozone layer has been discovered, but this time its thought the cause of it is farting! "With so many foods that give us wind these days its not really a surprise. We know beans and cheese are high on the list of 'wind makers...

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Dinomania! Hits the UK

Funny story: Dinomania! Hits the UK

Dinosaurs are being breed in secret at England's London zoo. The top secret plan is four floors underground at the zoo. Scientists have hatched five eggs so far but the problem is they don't know what the dinosaurs are! Its thought there was a mix up...

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Dave'll fix it

Funny story: Dave'll fix it

The BBC is trying to bring back 'Jim'll fix it' as a tribute to the late Jimmy Saville. They are hoping to persuade non other than Prime Minister David Cameroon to host the knew series. It's thought he's interested in a job as a presenter after his t...

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England's Queen is spaced

Funny story: England's Queen is spaced

Buckingham Palace had a visitor that not even the security services could keep out. A UFO landed its spaceship on the top of the Palace but wasn't picked up on radar. The Queen and her husband Prince Phillip were giving the Royal corgis there last wa...

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It's a thriller that they're all shook up in Brighton!

The King of rock and roll and the King of pop have teamed up to run a fish and chip shop in Brighton on the South Coast of Great Britain. "EPMJ' was thought to be a company name from Mexico but we can exclusively reveal its Elvis Presley and Michael...

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Christmas is cancelled

Funny story: Christmas is cancelled

Euro leaders are to decide if they should cancel Christmas or not. The state of the economy looks like it may be a yes. "The Italian Prime Minister always buys the Greek Prime Minister a Christmas present and so the other way round but this year i...

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Don't belittle England

England training will be a little unusual this week as head coach Capello wants them to play a five-a-side mini-tournament against dwarfs! He's called in four five-a-side dwarf teams to make it an eight team tournament. It's thought the defence w...

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No Puppies says Blatter

Funny story: No Puppies says Blatter

Fifa President and self appointed ruler of football Slap (me on the head) Blatter won't back down in the poppy scandal. The man who should be at home smoking a pipe and wearing slippers won't listen to anyone on the matter. "You want to wear lit...

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The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

Funny story: The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

The Sun newspaper is finally ready to start printing true news stories after years of making things up. "We've decided to take a new line on reporting and start telling the truth. It's early days yet and we'll have to see how our readers feel abou...

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Row Row Row your boat

World leaders are to invest in rowing machines as the 'new energy saver'. Its thought every household in the Western world will be given a rowing machine and some even two or three depending on the size of the house. "Energy is often wasted by p...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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