Showing stories written by William H. Lumpkin

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Major League Baseball fines fans

Funny story: Major League Baseball fines fans

Cracking down on unauthorized discussions, Major League Baseball began fining fans having "unauthorized discussions" of the games. "It's right there in the disclaimer," said Roger "Happy" Garris, MLB's legal representative. " 'Any rebroadcast, re...

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Michele Bachmann: "Romney is Gay"

Funny story: Michele Bachmann: "Romney is Gay"

GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann announced today that she has "indisputable proof" that co-candidate Mitch Romney is gay. "Just look at that hair," she said, "and those teeth. Nobody looks that good unless they're either a movie star o...

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Christie says "No" To Presidential Run

Funny story: Christie says "No" To Presidential Run

At a press conference this afternoon, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie put the final nail in the coffin that he had put the final nail in last week by declaring he was not running for President of the Unites States. Reporters, like horny college...

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GOP's new job plan is out of this world

Funny story: GOP's new job plan is out of this world

On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Speaker of the House John Boehner and Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnel outlined their plan to stimulate the economy and create new jobs. Among such controversial issues as not raising taxes on the u...

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Vikes Vow "No More Halftime Keggers"

A 3AM pity party turned into a press conference for one when Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier announced there would be no more halftime keg parties. "It's obviously interfering with our performance on the field," Frazier said. During the pr...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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