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'Electric Bench' to be used in Texan Prisons

Texas Prison Chiefs today unveiled the electric-bench at a local state penitentiary after three years of research and development. The bench has been labeled "a fantastic breakthrough in the battle against rising prison numbers." The bench will al...

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Being Alive Can Raise The Risk of Cancer

Being alive can raise the risk of developing cancer, a German led research project announced today. A study of over 6 billion people worldwide carried out over the last 20 years, and costing $8bn found that being alive dramatically increases the...

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MPs Guilty Of Too Much 'Twist And Shout'

Whilst most Britons believed that politicians had done their best to combat the rise of most abhorrent dances, an overwhelming majority were still critical of MP's delectation for the 'twist and shout'. This latest poll, published in the Indepen...

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France Mourns Day Of Civility

A day has passed in Paris without a single demonstration, leaving locals and commuters in a state of disbelief. No one has witnessed Paris so deserted since the day French citizens were called to defend their capital all the way back in 1940. A G...

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Richard Keys Discovered To Be Missing Link

A doctor has discovered that disgraced former Sky Sports anchor, Richard Keys, is in fact more ape than man. The discovery came when the fifty year old was undergoing his routine hair removal procedure. The doctor, who has been treating Mr. Keys f...

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Russian War Criminal Given Greatest Honour At Russian Oscars

A Russian soldier has been bestowed his country's highest honour when he was given the title of chief war criminal at a lavish ceremony of the Russian Oscars held at the Kremlin yesterday. Other awards such as biggest civilian massacre and best nu...

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Scientists prove lives in the third world worth less

A leading scientist has created a formula that proves that lives in the third world are worth less. The breakthrough discovery will allow people to identify with that feeling of complete indifference whenever a colossal lose of human life occurs i...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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