HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study today positing that the leading bullshit reason why young people feel forced to spend time with their old parents and grandparents is also costly. Dementia is as silent and deadly as an old fart a...
MUNICH, Germany - All good things come in threes. So goes the saying, both in English and German, and the Biebs would have to agree.
First, the cops were called because he was racing around his neighborhood in his new Ferrari. Then he spat upon a...
CHELYABINSK, Russia - A 55-foot wide rock landed in and around the city of Chelyabinsk and then caused shockwaves that injured 1,200 people and damaged thousands of homes. The U.S. quickly expressed relief that no one of significance was affected by...
TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day.
Wife Tamm...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After President Obama and Aretha Franklin each gave respectively a resounding speech and rendition of the National Anthem four years ago, it seems that the designers of the second inaugural ceremony pulled a full-on Milli Vanilli o...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week that maintains that injecting the feces of a healthy person into another person suffering from a rare intestinal ailment may actually help the person kick the bug.
Clostridium diffici...
HOLLYWOOD - Holy effin' shit--finally something coming out of Glitztown more interesting than Kim K.'s baby bump. Teenager Justin Bieber has been caught on film partaking of marijuana.
Perhaps the Mayans were right--perhaps the world is coming to...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Film producer Spike Lee has decided to boycott Quentin Tarantino's new film Django Unchained because the film uses the N-word 110 times.
Students at Harfold State College, 99.9% of them white as snow, feel that 110 occurrences in a...
MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin, realizing he has only but a few days left to 2012, is trying desperately in the year's remaining hours to up his street cred for The Complete and Utter Asshole of the Year Award.
In an asshole move reminiscent of...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, after being lambasted by the general managers of Chrysler and General Motors for bad-mouthing the efforts in of President Obama in the car industry, has purportedly found a dealership in u...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released this week a study which son-in-laws everywhere will have a hard time swallowing.
Women who quit smoking by the age of 50 dramatically cut risk of an early death, enjoying up to ten to fifteen more year...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mitt Romney is scrambling in the wake of recent reports that unemployment has fallen to under 8.0% for the first time in four years. He has even resorted to using other countries' news, banking on the fact that most Americans don't...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has decided to sit out the upcoming presidential debates in lieu of an even bigger crowd-pleaser. Mitt will suit up the mitts to spar against--HIMSELF.
Video spots will be aired showing the Republican candidate s...
MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin has made it clear that he's no fan of Barack Obama because he's Amerian as well as Mitt Romney who not only is American but basically attacked the Soviet Union, as Romney calls it, in a speech last year.
S...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold resident Stan Finley, 49, came out the Harfold Gas & Supplies in a much different state than when he went in. He entered, just as he had any other work day, ready to run the cash register. He came out, however, with the hel...
CALABASAS, Az. - Katherine Jackson, mother to the deceased King of Pop, Michael Jackson, is back home after having gone missing. Police were working day and night to find the 82-year-old.
"Is it scary?" asked Paris Jackson, daughter to Michael. "S...
WASHINGTON - Experts were quick to point out that Ann Romney was not mincing words today when she told ABC News, "We've given all you people need to know" in terms of past income tax returns.
Linguists, however, were even quicker to disagree.
"...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Scientists at Harfold State College have come to some very different conclusions than their colleagues at the University of Oregon as to what a piece of 13,000 year-old poop means to the history of North America.
"Our Oregonian coll...