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Funny story: Ferguson learns valuable lesson: Don't announce bad news at night

Ferguson learns valuable lesson: Don't announce bad news at night

Ferguson, Mo. - Businesses were ablaze and bullets flew overhead throughout the night in Ferguson as officials chose the late evening as the best time to announce that a white police officer would not be indicted in the shooting of an unarmed black t...
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Funny story: Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
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Funny story: Merkel not apologetic for photobombing German players' selfies

Merkel not apologetic for photobombing German players' selfies

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - German chancellor Angela Merkel made no apologies Monday for putting herself into the middle of the World Cup fray by jumping into any and all selfies snapped by Germany's newly-crowned champions. Within an hour after the...
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Funny story: 67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...
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Funny story: Last regrets of the dying split down gender lines

Last regrets of the dying split down gender lines

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College published a study today that shows that elderly men and women have very different regrets weighing on their minds as their dying day draws near. Of the women, 38% regret the fact that they didn't say "I love yo...
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Funny story: French bring 30,000-year-old giant virus back to life, gives world another reason to hate the French

French bring 30,000-year-old giant virus back to life, gives world another reason to hate the French

AIX-MARSEILLE, France - Researchers at the University of Aix-Marseille have revived a virus that had lain dormant in Siberian permafrost for the past 30,000 years. Asked why they had thawed out and revived such a potentially dangerous virus, resea...
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Funny story: For being so anti-gay, same-sex Russians sure do kiss a lot: study

For being so anti-gay, same-sex Russians sure do kiss a lot: study

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College has revealed that local students think all that kissing which same-sex Russian Olympians do is gay, especially for a city that has no gay people. Students in Carver Dining Hall wer...
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Funny story: High-revenue Russian products to be boycotted due to anti-gay stance

High-revenue Russian products to be boycotted due to anti-gay stance

WASHINGTON D.C. - The U.S. Department of Trade announced Friday that the nation will officially boycott a number of high-revenue Russian products because of Russia's recent public stance against homosexual people. The government was quick to ackno...
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Funny story: Obama says pot no worse than booze...not in so many words

Obama says pot no worse than booze...not in so many words

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama this week held tightly to his position that marijuana is no worse than booze, a bad habit that, if indulged in to excess, could lead to problems. "Could," that is. "Purple Haze was in my brain," said President Oba...
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Funny story: If you're in the box, stop thinking outside it--interviewing tips for job seekers

If you're in the box, stop thinking outside it--interviewing tips for job seekers

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week which suggests that beliefs about interview etiquette may amount to nothing more than wives' tales. How long has it been cool to say, "I think outside the box"? Well, according to Dwi...
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Funny story: American Soldiers in Afghanistan liken tour to a Tom Cruise filming gig

American Soldiers in Afghanistan liken tour to a Tom Cruise filming gig

KABUL - Many American solidiers currently on a one-year tour in Afghanistan find that their time spent away from family and other loved ones is most comparable a drawn-out movie shoot of an actor of such caliber as Tom Cruise. "Risking our lives d...
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Funny story: Snowden frustrated by Cyrillic, tougher than any code he ever saw at NSA

Snowden frustrated by Cyrillic, tougher than any code he ever saw at NSA

MOSCOW - Edward Snowden, who has spent the last several months in Russia, is reportedly at the end of his tether. Despite having been able to leave the transit area of Sheremetyevo International Airport, Snowden has been frustrated by his attempts...
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Funny story: Scientists can implant false memories into mice, only a matter of time before men have fake memories of wild sex they never had

Scientists can implant false memories into mice, only a matter of time before men have fake memories of wild sex they never had

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week that substantiates the belief that we can implant false memories into mice. This could have far-reaching implications in terms of men and how fondly they think back to their younger days...
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Funny story: Dolphins call each other dirty names

Dolphins call each other dirty names

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a report today that supports the long-suspected assumption that dolphins were really mean deep down inside. "Calling each other names is just the beginning," said Jan Vincent, instructor of marine scie...
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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth II: The baby shan't spoil one's holiday plans

Queen Elizabeth II: The baby shan't spoil one's holiday plans

WINDSOR - Queen Elizabeth II has issued a royal decree stating that the coming of William's and Kate's spawn shall hurry the hell up and get here so that her holiday plans don't get mucked up. Although Her Majesty has been doing the talking, it i...
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Funny story: NSA spy Snowden to star in reality show: An American in Transit

NSA spy Snowden to star in reality show: An American in Transit

MOSCOW - NSA secrets leaker Edward Snowden may not have to worry about money for awhile. Venevisión, one of Venezuela's largest television networks, has signed Snowden to a reality show deal that will highlight Snowden's highs and lows in the transit...
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Funny story: Dementia care costs Americans $159 billion per year, seniors asked to stop faking it

Dementia care costs Americans $159 billion per year, seniors asked to stop faking it

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study today positing that the leading bullshit reason why young people feel forced to spend time with their old parents and grandparents is also costly. Dementia is as silent and deadly as an old fart a...
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Funny story: Good week for the Biebs: racing, spitting, and transporting monkey

Good week for the Biebs: racing, spitting, and transporting monkey

MUNICH, Germany - All good things come in threes. So goes the saying, both in English and German, and the Biebs would have to agree. First, the cops were called because he was racing around his neighborhood in his new Ferrari. Then he spat upon a...
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Showing page 1 (of 10 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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