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James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Funny story: James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Victims who in 1997 had been subjected to James Cameron's Titanic, and many others who had subsequently been affected by watching his film, are protesting at the film being raised from the depths of bad 90s film hell in a new 3D format. 'It's dis...

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German Pensioner Celebrates 60 Years of Scrounging Off UK Taxpayers

Funny story: German Pensioner Celebrates 60 Years of Scrounging Off UK Taxpayers

A woman of German descent today celebrates 60 years of living off the taxpayer, claiming it has been her right as 'Queen' of England. Mrs Elizabeth Windsor of Westminster has apparently also been paid for the upkeep of multiple properties through...

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Michelle Bachmann: Wicked Witch of the Midwest

Funny story: Michelle Bachmann: Wicked Witch of the Midwest

Following her defeat in the Iowa caucus, Michelle Bachmann has vowed to return to her previous occupation as a witch. 'I'll not be wearing a pointy hat and riding a broomstick', she cackled, 'that would be silly. Besides, I've accrued lots of air...

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Prince Philip denies shooting commoner

Funny story: Prince Philip denies shooting commoner

Following the discovery of a dead body on their Sandringham estate, the Royal Family has categorically denied that the body is that of a member of the public who was shot by Prince Philip. The Prince, who had spent Christmas in hospital followin...

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Ireland's Answer to the Recession is 'Chasing Rainbows'. Literally

Funny story: Ireland's Answer to the Recession is 'Chasing Rainbows'. Literally

The Irish government has announced a new measure to tackle the country's financial woes; searching for pots of gold at the ends of rainbows. Michael McFlattery, the Irish government's Chief Economist, stated; 'Well, we had a wee think about it all...

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Wrong 'Turkey ' Giving Thanks to White House

There has been a mix up in the annual presidential pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey, as a White House aide unwittingly pardoned Turkey the country instead of an actual turkey. It is, as yet, unclear what exactly Turkey has been pardoned of, but...

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Strictly Scrum Dancing - When Rugby World Cup Meets Reality TV

On the eve of the Rugby World Cup final there have been calls for the sport to attempt to embrace a wider audience by introducing a more entertaining aspect to matches. That fact that these calls have come solely from Strictly Come Dancing judge Brun...

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UBS Trader 'Lost Four Words'

The man accused of unauthorised trading that lost Swiss bank UBS around £1.5bn ($2.3bn) has told a court that it is all a big mistake and that it happened because he "lost four words". A Solicitor representing Kweku Adoboli was initially misquoted...

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Defiant Gadaffi states: 'I'm not fleeing, I'm playing hide and seek'

Libyan ex-leader and tyranny enthusiast Colonel Muammar Gaddafi has announced his intention to attempt to break the world record for hide and seek. Despite their joy at the Colonel's recent fall from power, most Libyans I spoke to seem to be wishi...

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Harper Seven? Really?

Funny story: Harper Seven? Really?

Startling revelations have come to light over David and Victoria Beckham's choice of name for their new baby daughter, Harper Seven. It has been revealed that the Beckhams initially wanted to call their new daughter 'Flautist'. However, they thoug...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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