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Funny story: Aberdeen lose the top spot

Aberdeen lose the top spot

Saturday as a sad day for fans of Aberdeen football club, as the team has once again fallen from its customary top spot in Scottish football in the first gameweek. Aberdeen always seem to find themselves in the Champions League spot before a ball...
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Funny story: China and Nepal slowly crush India

China and Nepal slowly crush India

Nepal are to re-measure Mount Everest after a dispute with China about its true height. After watching a geology show on BBC HD with Richard Hammond last night, our intrepid reporter Taribo West knows how mountains are formed. "Basically, its two...
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Funny story: Financial cuts to police service puts game birds at risk

Financial cuts to police service puts game birds at risk

Planned cuts in the police department may not be popular with many, but one section of society who are elated with the news are thieves. LancsNews's talented and outrageous reporter Taribo West tracked a robber and found him in his secret cave. Th...
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Funny story: Russia accepts beer is alcoholic, Vodka drinkers scoff...

Russia accepts beer is alcoholic, Vodka drinkers scoff...

After years of thinking beer was made of nothing but fruit juices and water, Dmitry Medvedev has been forced to change his mind by the World Health Organisation. The passing of a bill by the Russian President which accepts beer is an alcoholic bevera...
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Funny story: Blade Runner Qualifies for London 2012

Blade Runner Qualifies for London 2012

Oscar Pistorius, the Blade Runner, has run a fast enough qualifying time for the London 2012 games after a performance of 45.07 seconds for the 400 metres. However, doubts have been cast over the South African's true identity. After much unashamed...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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