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Funny story:  NHL melts down the Stanley Cup to promote player safety

NHL melts down the Stanley Cup to promote player safety

Toronto, Ontario - The Stanley Cup is no more. The professional sports world's most iconic championship trophy has been recast into dozens of personal "Support Stanleys" - individual-sized cups designed to shield a player's privates from th...
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Funny story:  New York Mets down to one last fan

New York Mets down to one last fan

Flushing, New York - The New York Mets have been a disaster at the plate, an abomination on the mound and a catastrophe in the field. Yet they've always managed to attract a base of supporters. But not anymore. Tired of empty promises and finishe...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un joins USO tour as a standup comic

Kim Jong Un joins USO tour as a standup comic

Pyongyang, North Korea - Worried that a harsh winter has devastated the morale of his armed forces, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un joined his nation's top performers on a USO tour of the country's military bases last month. Before embarki...
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Funny story:  Rejected Olympic sports: 5 new events you won't be seeing in Sochi

Rejected Olympic sports: 5 new events you won't be seeing in Sochi

The Olympic Village, Russia - If you have the feeling that the 2014 Olympic Games are a little short on activities, give yourself a medal. Five brand-new sports created for Sochi's big show were shot down without getting as much as a singe from the O...
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Funny story:  Astronauts bumped up to first class for another NASA first

Astronauts bumped up to first class for another NASA first

Moscow - - US astronauts will be flying at an unprecedented level of comfort and style, thanks to a new agreement between NASA and Russian space shuttle operator Retro Rocket. The upgraded International Space Station package brings first-class servi...
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Funny story:  NFL adds 10 new rules for Super Bowl XLVIII

NFL adds 10 new rules for Super Bowl XLVIII

New York - American football fans can expect to experience a kinder and gentler Super Bowl on February 2. The NFL Commissioner's Office has developed 10 "super" rules designed to make the world championship game "safer yet more exciting than ever.
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Funny story:  New Year delayed after Congress fails to reset date ceiling

New Year delayed after Congress fails to reset date ceiling

Washington DC - America will have to spend an extra week in 2013, thanks to the latest congressional mishap. It seems that the House and Senate failed to reset what is known as "the date ceiling" before leaving on holiday recess, an oversight th...
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Funny story:  Super Bowl to be played without helmets

Super Bowl to be played without helmets

New York - Unleashing a last-minute rule change that is certain to spark controversy, the National Football League has banned the use of helmets in the upcoming Super Bowl. "The NFL wants Super Bowl XLVIII to be the safest championship game ever...
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Funny story:  Bernanke's farewell: 'switch Capitalism with Carnivalism'

Bernanke's farewell: 'switch Capitalism with Carnivalism'

Washington, DC - Americans won't have Capitalism to kick around anymore. The economic system that built the nation is calling it quits, scheduled to retire next month, when Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke steps down. In an impromptu news conference, sta...
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Funny story:  New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin introduces Tea Party's healthcare package

Sarah Palin introduces Tea Party's healthcare package

Nome, Alaska - The Republican Tea Party can no longer be accused of not having an alternative to Obama Care, according to presidential contender Sarah Palin. The former Alaska governor this week introduced the party's SAD program, an acronym tha...
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Funny story:  Pope enters reality TV biz, premiering "Fish on Friday"

Pope enters reality TV biz, premiering "Fish on Friday"

The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
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Funny story:  US #1 In Spying, Cheating & Lying, Says UN Survey

US #1 In Spying, Cheating & Lying, Says UN Survey

New York City - While the US leads the world in military might, espionage capabilities and police presence, it is falling behind in such basics as truth telling, promoting freedom and supporting human morality. So says a recent report by the In...
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Funny story:  Mr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids

Mr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids

Flushing, New York - Desperate to improve a team that has become the laughing stock of major league baseball, the New York Mets have traded their beloved mascot, Mr. Met, to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for a shipment of super steroids. The...
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Funny story:  National Security Agency to shift from spying to matchmaking

National Security Agency to shift from spying to matchmaking

CLASSIFIED - The nation's premier intelligence organization is getting out of the espionage game to become the world's largest computer dating service, according to documents released today by super snitch Edward Snowden. At an undisclosed locati...
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Funny story:  Tea Party accused of turning John Boehner into a zombie

Tea Party accused of turning John Boehner into a zombie

Washington DC -- House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been forced to join "the cult of the living dead," according to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and other congressional leaders. They charge that the Tea Party branch of the GOP has transformed the...
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Funny story:  NFL officials to referee Congress

NFL officials to referee Congress

Washington DC - The National Football League has volunteered its squad of on-field officials to "referee" Congress. In announcing the arrangement, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell noted that his army of referees, field judges, umpires, linesmen, an...
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Funny story:  Low Approval Numbers Force the Tea Party to Change Its Brand

Low Approval Numbers Force the Tea Party to Change Its Brand

Washington, DC - Registering approval ratings as low as 22% in recent polls, the United States Tea Party would rather fright than quit. The reactionary wing of the GOP is changing its name from the Tea Party to the Costume Party. "Voters love us,...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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