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Belgian terrorist targets Pope and Paisley

Famous Belgian anarchist and custard pie-thrower, Noel Godin, has vowed to target the Pope AND Ian Paisley if the suggested second visit by the Pope to Northern Ireland goes ahead. The Pope has been a long-term target for Godin whose organisation hu...

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July 12 inferno for N. Ireland

In Northern Ireland, there are fears that the town of Ballybilly will be consumed in a massive conflagration on the night of July 11/12. Along with their counterparts throughout the province, Ballybilly loyalists will be kicking off the celebration...

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Rabies scare - channel tunnel closed

The government has announced that the channel tunnel is to be closed immediately. Amid furious scenes in the House of Commons, Tony Blair made the announcement after The Daily Mail claimed that a previously unknown strain of rabies had reached Brita...

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Murdoch to buy UKIP

Rupert Murdoch, the world's greatest garbage recycler, today announced that he is to buy The United Kingdom Independence Party. At the moment, UKIP is seen as little more than a focal point for scapegoat-seekers and an alternative to The Ulster Unio...

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The ideal couple - Victoria and Rab C

Funny story: The ideal couple - Victoria and Rab C

Who says computers have no sense of humour? We asked the data manager of a leading computer dating agency to come up with the ideal celebrity couple, and to the utter amazement of everyone - except a member of staff who has actually met Victoria Bec...

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Joan Collins deported to Afghanistan

Funny story: Joan Collins deported to Afghanistan

In the aftermath of the Euro 2004 elections, the UKIP has announced that it is to establish links with Ian Paisley's DUP, which topped the poll in Northern Ireland. We understand that the UKIP has agreed to renegotiate the Good Friday Agreement...

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Scientific Breakthrough - G.M. Spide a reality

Professor Sean Strangelove, head of the Genetic Engineering Department at Queens University, Befast, today announced the sensational news that he had created the world's first genetically modified spide/chav/yob.

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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