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Coming soon - to a television near you: "Today in the Stocks"

Funny story: Coming soon - to a television near you: "Today in the Stocks"

The unexpected success of the Stocks , that quaint, almost primitive medieval instrument of ritual degradation that was erected recently in Newcastle in an experimental trial (now there's a pun, if you like one!) following intense pressure on HM Gove...

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Actor to commit suicide "in the public interest"

Funny story: Actor to commit suicide "in the public interest"

After a particularly heavy clobbering at the hands of the media, Hollywood Legend and piss-artist, actor Mel Gibson, has decided to call it a day with a once-in-a-lifetime selfless gesture which will shock his many fans. "I just need to stop being a...

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Whatever else you do in 2011 don't touch your TFT monitor...

Funny story: Whatever else you do in 2011 don't touch your TFT monitor...

At exactly 00.01 hours on April 1st a particularly nasty virus - part Trojan, part Worm, part BLING (Bin Laden is a Ninja Ghost), will hit computer, laptop, and even Blackberry users worldwide and will remain active until 2012. Known only as E=mc2...

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Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Funny story: Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Continuing the pioneering work of legendary turkey farmer extraordinaire Bernard Matthews, Irish chicken breeder Patrick O'Feckit has come up with an ingenious scheme which may answer the ever-increasing demand for chicken. For many years he has...

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You know what folks? You'd be better off dead...

Funny story: You know what folks? You'd be better off dead...

It has today been announced by HM Government that a massive publicity offensive will be launched in April to heighten people's awareness of the dangers inherent in being alive. The Minister for Health will personally supervise the campaign which...

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Council makes "one-way" ruling on country footpaths

Funny story: Council makes "one-way" ruling on country footpaths

In a move guaranteed to inconvenience and infuriate dog walkers, ramblers, off-road cyclists, joggers, and horse riders alike, Cornwall County Council has today announced plans to restrict the use of all footpaths and BOAT's (Byeways Open to All Traf...

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Brand new TV gameshow will involve Japan's Fukushima reactor

Funny story: Brand new TV gameshow will involve Japan's Fukushima reactor

In a nation whose long and idiosyncratic history includes ritual suicide, Kamikaze bombers, and bizarre TV gameshows, the announcement by NHK's Banzai Nagasaki of a brand new "once-only" gameshow which will centre around the Fukushima nuclear power p...

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Pandemonium ensues at crisis meeting of GAFCOGS

Funny story: Pandemonium ensues at crisis meeting of GAFCOGS

During an emergency session of GAFCOGS - the "Global Association of Fat Cats and Other Greedy Sods" - held at the members-only SKIMMERS & SCAMMERS club in the basement of number 49 Dean Street, Soho, in London's West End last night, there was wid...

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Existence of God proven! Yes folks - there is a God!

Funny story: Existence of God proven! Yes folks - there is a God!

For at least the last two thousand years the argument has raged, among Christians and Muslims alike: Is there really a God? Or perhaps an Allah? Are we supervised by, and ultimately answerable to, a Supreme and Omnipotent Being, sole Creator and Orig...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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