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Gaddafi offered asylum

NASA has confirmed that they have sent an official offer the Col Gaddafi for safe passage to the International Space Station. A spokesman for NASA said: "We have had continual human habitation on the space station and we feel that by offering...

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Thatcher on the way to rescue stranded Britons in Libya

It was confirmed today that Mark Thatcher the only son of Lady Thatcher, the scourge of UK primary industry set off last weekend to Libya.It has been revealed that Sir Mark and his convoy of six 4 x 4s and 2 buses left early Saturday morning headin...

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UN sends a suprise choice of delagate to Libya

Late last night in New York the UN security council voted in favour to send a high profile delagate to Libya to stop the mass killings.The UN raised a few eyebrows when they name Kim Jong-il as their special diplomat. When asked about this surpri...

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The UK Foreign Office issues new guidelines for evacuation

Mr William Hague has issued a new directive after the evacuation fiasco of the UK nationals from Tony Blair's friend Gadaffi anarchic state. In a brief statement Hague stated the new criteria to be rescued from a country if British Citizens were in d...

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Prince William denies Anglesy stronghold rumours

Rumours are circulating out of the North Wales Island of Anglesy (Yr Mon) that Prince William is gathering a band of loyal subjects to march on London to take the throne. An unnamed person close to the Prince said "What looked like an innocent nam...

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The murky world of Libyan Trade

With the continuing melt down of law and order and the defiant messages coming from President Col Gaddafi, the British Government are tracking down the companies behind his support.The Prime Minister has said no stone will be unturned to find the UK...

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The true number of NHS cutbacks revealed

Under The Freedom of Information Act to true extent of the cutbacks is becoming painfully clear. Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary has admitted when contacted that it is true, they are sacking all the doctors and nurses but keeping administrative...

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The Mayor of Tripoli refutes claims of anarchy on the streets

A spokesperson for The mayor's office in Tripoli has issued a statement that there is no anarchy or bloodshed in the streets and every one should keep calm "This is a respectable town where people work hard and get along. I do not know who this im...

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Leaked draft of Gaddfi's resignation speech

Unconfirmed sources in Tripoli have confirmed that Col Gadaffi the darling of the Libya people until last week will be standing down.He wishes to put in place before that some new laws to help the unemployed and poorer people of the country. His m...

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China denies that The Pandas are Spies

Chinese Premier Hu Jintao has vehemently denied that the two Pandas being lent to Japan as a good will gesture will bring up the Senkaku Islands which are disputed between the two ancient civilisations. Premier Hu reiterated while boarding his bud...

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Haywood BP's EX-CEO to be US envoy in Libya

Reports are coming out of Washington DC that Mr Tony Haywood the disgraced ex BP supremo has been appointed the US special envoy forthwith in Tripoli. Obama said "he is the man for the job and has excellent experience in dealing with angry protest...

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Breaking news…

Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!

Tea tree oils and lavender oil increase the size of male breasts scientists have discovered. Sorry ladies, a trip to Silicone Valley is still necessary for you!
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