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Balotelli: "Messi aint right"

Since revealing yeasterday that he thought Lionel Messi was the only player better than him in world football today, controversial Italian striker Marion Balotelli has spoken again of the Barcelona player. After a promotional photo shoot for tobac...

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Balotelli: "F*ck it I'll quit"

Manchester City's wantaway striker Mario Balotelli has issued a threat to his employers in his latest verbal attack on the club. Balotelli said, "I wana go Milan and if that lot aren't going to sell me, then f*ck it I'll retire. It's just a job in...

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Big Sam - From Blackburn to BNP

Recently dismissed Blackburn manager 'Big' Sam Allardyce appears to have shut the door on a return to football management. It would seem that the ex-premier league manager looks set to swap his sheepskin jacket for white robes and pointy cone hat.

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Gamst-Pederson relieved at Big Sam dismissal

Blackburn's Norwegian ace Morten Gamst-Pederson has expressed his relief at the recent dismissal of manager Sam Allardyce. Pederson told reporter, "I never had a issue with Sam, but it was obvious he didn't like me. He used to call me 'gay' and m...

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Balotelli: "Mancini has got a little d*ck"

Wantaway Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli appears to have sunk to new lows in a bid to engineer a move back to Italian football. When interviewed before Citys final Europa League group game away at Juventus, Balotelli made crude comments a...

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Balotelli: "F*ck Off Carlos"

Manchester City's wantaway ace striker Mario Balotelli has launched an unexpected verbal attack on club captain Carlos Tevez. Tevez recently announced that he wished to leave the club, and it would seem that this news has struck a nerve with Itali...

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Balotelli in Tupac tribute

Italian wildchild and wantaway Man Cty ace Mario Balotelli, has controversial plans to wear a tribute to late rapper Tupac Shakur on his Manchester City kits. Balotelli is understood to be a massive of the ganagster scene and it is well known that...

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Kerry Katona - Prostate Relapse

Kerry Katona has suffered a setback on her self-titled 'Road to recovery'. According to sources close to the former celebrity, Katona is said to have hit the cocaine 'like a city banker on pay day', after learning she didn't have a prostate. On...

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Barca Pedro in autograph shame

Barcelona ace Pedro is at the centre of a controversial new autograph rule, that he himself has created and imposed. The player and his agent have both confirmed that the only thing Pedro will be signing from now on is 'titties'. Employers Barc...

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Stephen Ireland in Corrie anniversary deal

Aston Villa have this evening confirmed that midfield maestro Stephen Ireland has agreed to play in this weekends fixture against Liverpool. The Villa spokesman went on to state that as the Villa fixture doesn't clash with any soap omnibuses Irel...

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Dom Jolly: "My placenta hell"

Comic and reality tv star Dom Jolly has emotionally revealed to fellow camp mates that he has finally beaten a placenta addiction after three years of suffering with the disease. Jolly said, "After Trigger Happy TV finished I spent most of my time...

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Balotelli: "Yous lot need to fix up"

Italian badboy Mario Balotelli last night stunned radio listeners with a foul-mouthed outburst live on air. The Man City ace was a special guest on a football based show, and did little to change the perception that he is an overpaid premadonna.

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Ferguson spotted walking Neville!

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has been photographed literally walking United veteran and former captain, Gary Neville. The Red Devils manager was spotted by onlookers walking Neville across an exclusive golf course in Cheshire, as if he...

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Jacko to resurrect himself!

A spokesman for the Jackson family has confirmed that 'The King of Pop' Michael Jackon, will rise from the dead in Easter 2011. A statement from the family read, "We are pleased to confirm that Michael Jackson will be resurrecting himself this for...

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Benayoun lifts the lid on cannibalism at Liverpool

Former Liverpool FC player Yossi Benayoun has made sensational claims that an ex-team mate tired to eat him during his time on Merseyside. Benayoun stunned reporters when he lifted the lid on the cannibalistic ways of an old colleague. The play...

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Captain Jack Spazzo

Johnny Depp has quashed claims that his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean was a ground-breaking performance and that it showed his versatility as an actor. Depp was nominated for an Oscar following his widely a...

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Mourinho refuses to acknowledge defeat

In the wake of his teams 5-0 thrashing at the hands of Barcelona, Real Madrid head coach Jose Mourinho has refused to acknowledge the result. Mourinho said, "It was obvious for all to see that we deserved the points and I am looking forward to mai...

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Paul Konchesky voted luckiest bloke alive

Liverpool left back Paul Konchesky has been voted the luckiest bloke alive. Konchesky 29, who followed boss Roy Hodgson from Fulham to Liverpool in the summer, is said to have agreed with the outcome of vote. He excitedly told reporters, "This is...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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