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Research shows anarchists would not last one second in anarchy

New research done by Anarchist Research in Social Evolution (ARSE) has exclusively revealed that anarchists would not last if anarchy took over the UK. The research commissioned by ARSE showed that, if anarchy did take over the country, the lawles...

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George Osborne to cut Fridays after Rebecca Black song

Chancellor George Osborne has revealed that he will be axing Fridays after listening to the song "Friday" by Rebecca Black. The song has evoked the Chancellor's anger after Ken Clarke showed him the video on YouTube. After listening to the song...

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Colonel Gaddafi refuses to quit epic game of Risk

Colonel Gaddafi is refusing to quit a mammoth game of Risk that has lasted nearly five days despite having none of his army left. Gaddafi has been labelled a "sore loser" and "not knowing when to quit" by his fellow Risk players which include all...

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Berlusconi to launch "Italian Mutant Dirty Perverts"

Ladies man Silvio Berlusconi is set to launch a new super group called "Italian Mutant Dirty Perverts" for older men that have been accused of sleeping with prostitutes or escort girls. The new group, based on the popular children's cartoon progra...

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George Osborne to take Viagra to sort out growth

In a last ditch attempt to salvage the economy, Chancellor George Osborne is set to take Viagra to try and stimulate growth. This announcement comes after it was revealed by Osborne that he "doesn't know what else to do." At the beginning of 20...

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Nick Clegg too busy doing Cameron's chores to participate in Big Society

In a radio interview Nick Clegg has exclusively revealed that he will not take part in David Cameron's Big Society as he's "too busy" doing the Prime Minister's chores. As well as undertaking his duties as Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the L...

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Inflation "not that bad", claims Osborne

Chancellor George Osborne has sensationally claimed that inflation "isn't that bad." These claims were made after figures revealed inflation in the UK would rise sharply in the next year following a statement from the Bank of England. George Os...

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JLS to try and sell David Cameron's Big Society

Destroyer of music JLS have been asked by David Cameron to try and sell his failing Big Society. JLS were asked by the Prime Minister to sell the idea as the past few years have shown that the boyband will sell anything and, like the Big Society,...

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Millions of masturbating men left frustrated by The Black Swan

Despite the success of the Black Swan at the box office, it has been exclusively revealed that millions of men have been left frustrated by what masturbating film critics are calling "a complete and utter cock tease." Millions of men, expecting to...

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George Osborne strikes deal with wank bank

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed a deal with the wank bank that will force them to start lending again. The wank bank had refused to lend back sexual and arousing images that men had stored leading to very tense situations. The news will be...

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Andy Murray chokes again in Australian restaurant

Scottish tennis pro Andy Murray has choked on food yet again, this time in Australia. Andy Murray was dining at a top-restaurant in Melbourne enjoying a meal with family and friends, but choked during the main course. Similar incidents have hap...

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David Cameron to cut "friends with benefits" under welfare reforms

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that the Coalition government plans to deal with the welfare state by cutting friends with benefits. The scheme entitled "No more benefits for friends" will not allow friends of different genders to add a...

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Richard Keys and Andy Gray accused of further sexism

More people have come forward accusing Richard Keys and Andy Gray of sexism following comments made this weekend about a female linesman. The first incident involved a 21 year-old waitress at a top London restaurant where Richard Keys and Andy Gra...

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Inflation hits UK after Darren Bent transfer

Inflation has reached a record high in the UK following the £24 million transfer of Darren Bent to Aston Villa. Ever since the transfer, inflation has soared with Darren Bent's transfer causing UK goods and services to treble in price. The Bank...

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Outrage as Oldham by-election candidates were all straight

There has been outrage in the gay community as it has been revealed that all the political candidates in the Oldham by-election were actually straight. The gay community were up-in-arms at what it described as "deliberate misleading" from the gove...

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David Cameron to introduce new Nick Clegg shield to the MoD

Prime Minister David Cameron is set to introduce a new Nick Clegg shield to the Ministry of Defence (MoD), as part of the government's commitment to the armed forces. The new Nick Clegg shield has been successfully trialled by David Cameron since...

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Sepp Blatter appoints members of new football anti-corruption committee

Fifa president Sepp Blatter has announced the members of its new anti-corruption committee set to become fully operational in mid 2011. Mr Blatter has appointed some of the most well-known and influential individuals from around the world who will...

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Study reveals even New Year's "party in my pants" is anti-climax

New research has revealed that even a New Year's "party in my pants" is an anti-climax. The study was carried out by scientists who were intrigued by the constant association with New Year's Eve and an anti-climax. Scientists conducted the stud...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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