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Relationship Experts Describe Types of Extramarital Affairs

Funny story: Relationship Experts Describe Types of Extramarital Affairs

Los Angeles, CA--Relationships experts have long known that women have extramarital affairs for various reasons, including empowerment, self-esteem, and true love. But a recently published and more in-depth analysis of infidelity indicates that there...

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Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Pfizer Merge; Combined Giant To Purchase FDA and Congress

Funny story: Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Pfizer Merge; Combined Giant To Purchase FDA and Congress

Washington, DC--Global pharmaceutical giants Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Pfizer today announced plans to merge and to purchase the FDA and both houses of Congress in an attempt to soothe investors' frayed nerves and to streamline the drug-appro...

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Recent Accidents in London and Paris Linked To American Eating Habits

Funny story: Recent Accidents in London and Paris Linked To American Eating Habits

London, UK, and Paris, France--Two recent accidents in London and Paris have been linked to Americans' eating habits but fortunately did not result in deaths or injuries.

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US Postal Service Selected as Primary Site for Study of Hypertension, Says Surgeon General

Funny story: US Postal Service Selected as Primary Site for Study of Hypertension, Says Surgeon General

Washington, DC--Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona today announced that the US Post Office will serve as the primary scientific site for a study of hypertension in adult Americans.

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Hershey's Returns Tastetations to Market; Supermarket Employees Gird for Battle

Funny story: Hershey's Returns Tastetations to Market; Supermarket Employees Gird for Battle

Hershey, PA--The giant candy maker Hershey's today returned the hard chocolate candy Tastetations to selected supermarkets and convenience stores, leading to mass stampedes, crushed toes, and slapped faces as dieting women battled grocery...

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Woman Trapped in Bathroom Endures 14 Hours of Piped-In Music

Ladue, MO--A woman who was stuck in a Schnuck's supermarket bathroom for 14 hours without her cell phone and forced to listen to an endless loop of "elevator" and New Age music, while she repeatedly yelled for help to no avail, has file...

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New Jersey Builders to Evict 1 Million Residents; 500,000 More to Be Resettled in Connecticut

Funny story: New Jersey Builders to Evict 1 Million Residents; 500,000 More to Be Resettled in Connecticut

Trenton, NJ--Not content with developing, ravaging, and pillaging the formerly rural state of New Jersey, several major builders in the state have begun evicting 1 million residents from several areas, such as Camden, Trenton, New Brunswick, Newark,...

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The Single Substance Most Useful in A Given Situation Now Identified

Funny story: The Single Substance Most Useful in A Given Situation Now Identified

New York, New York--For many years, scientists have been seeking the one universal substance that would be most useful in a variety of everyday as well as critical situations. Now, a team of researchers at several prominent New York city-area hospit...

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Insurance Companies Remove Antibiotics From Formularies and Substitute Shrimp

Funny story: Insurance Companies Remove Antibiotics From Formularies and Substitute Shrimp

Minnetonka, Minneapolis--Led by managed care giant United Healthcare (NASDAQ code: X$%^&*$#%^$^ subscribers), all major HMOS in the United States have removed all antibiotics from their formularies due to rising pharmaceutical prices and the necessit...

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Disgruntled Hallmark Employees Start Anti-Hallmark Card Company

Funny story: Disgruntled Hallmark Employees Start Anti-Hallmark Card Company

Kansas City, MO--Enraged and exhausted by the endless task of trying to find something positive to say in a card format about every occasion, several highly talented writers and artists who have worked at Hallmark for a combined total of 120 years ha...

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HHS Requires Hospital Accreditation to Depend on Faith-Based Healing

Funny story: HHS Requires Hospital Accreditation to Depend on Faith-Based Healing

Washington, DC--The Department of Health and Human Services, acting on instructions from the Bush Administration, today dissolved the JCAHO and the NCQA and instead instituted a faith-based system of accreditation for hospitals and healthcare profess...

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New Cars Modeled on Horses of Old; Hit the Horn and Pass Out!

Washington, DC, and Detroit, MI--The Big Three automakers today announced that they have developed a revolutionary car that will drive itself.

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Scientists Discover New Connections Between Dogs, Opera, Beets, and Ovens

Funny story: Scientists Discover New Connections Between Dogs, Opera, Beets, and Ovens

New York, NY--Scientists at a major teaching hospital here today reported not one but two scientific findings that they hope will propel them to the front of the line for a Nobel Prize and provide them with lifetime free tickets to Lincoln Center.

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Paychecks To Be Distributed By Wall Street and Allocated to Savings Accounts

Funny story: Paychecks To Be Distributed By Wall Street and Allocated to Savings Accounts

Washington, DC--Effective with the next payroll cycle, all American employees who work for companies employing more than 50 people, and who are registered Democrats who voted for John Kerry, will no longer receive their paychecks as a "block gra...

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Bush Unveils New Initiatives Designed To Promote Self-Reliance and Increased Height

Funny story: Bush Unveils New Initiatives Designed To Promote Self-Reliance and Increased Height

Washington, DC--Building upon his belief that Americans need to assume more responsibility for all aspects of their health, financial security, and overall well-being, as well as reminiscing with nostalgia about his youthful comment that poor people...

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Lower Manhattan: Terrorists in Schmattas

Funny story: Lower Manhattan: Terrorists in Schmattas

New York City--The entire Lower East Side of Manhattan was cordoned off briefly after a resident of Greenwich, Connecticut, became alarmed by the behavior of the area's residents and feared a terrorist attack was imminent.

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Italy Names "American Idiot" National Anthem and Enforces Dress Code

Roma and Firenze, Italy--After several snafus involving American tourists at AutoGrill toilettes, in supermercados, and on the streets of Rome, the Italian government has declared the popular rock song "American Idiot" by Greenday to...

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Original Giver of Gift Receives It 27 Years Later

NEW YORK -- A woman who in 1977 gave a co-worker a very small, poorly made, and essentially useless holiday gift has received the exact same essentially useless, poorly made holiday gift from a different co-worker at a completely different company i...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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