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Suicide Bomber Unable to Resist Creamy Goodness - There was an explosion alright, an explosion of flavor sensation!

Funny story: Suicide Bomber Unable to Resist Creamy Goodness - There was an explosion alright, an explosion of flavor sensation!

So reads the transcript of the military tribunal investigating Salim Abu Zayabada of Saudi Arabia on charges of attempted terrorism within U.S. borders. Apparently Zayabada's plot was thwarted by the mouth-watering richness he encountered at the Snak...

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Boehner Recalls Humble Origins in Onion Factory

Funny story: Boehner Recalls Humble Origins in Onion Factory

WASHINGTON - Presumptive Speaker-of-the-House John Boehner (R-Ohio) recalls his difficult upbringing. "I was one of twelve children, and we were poor. I quit school to work in the onion processing plant. We peeled and diced onions all day. Very t...

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Sour Economy Forces Elderly Brothers Back to Work

Funny story: Sour Economy Forces Elderly Brothers Back to Work

NEW YORK, NY - "Davy and I were ready to settle into a comfortable retirement," says Charles, age 75. "But then the recession hit, our nest egg lost half its value, and the government was running out of money. So Davy and I had to go back to work."...

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House Fire Claims Four Lives

Funny story: House Fire Claims Four Lives

INTERNATIONAL CITY, Michigan - At 10:51pm last night, emergency operators were contacted by a man who saw smoke and flames at his neighbor's house. Police and firefighters responded and confirmed flames inside the living room. They attempted to ent...

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Winged Buffalo God Descends upon T.G.I. Friday's

Funny story: Winged Buffalo God Descends upon T.G.I. Friday's

NATICK, Massachusetts - As was prophesied in the Ago Times, the great winged buffalo god, Catoplebas, was awakened from a thousand-year slumber by the myriad wailing of small buffalo who had been de-winged. On the eleventh hour of the tenth day of...

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Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

Funny story: Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

LONDON - Wikileaks has published 57 linear feet of toilet paper detailing Julian Assange's high-tech plan to be broken out of London's Wandsworth prison. The plan consists of Assange apparently being officially transferred to another prison on M...

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Kim Jong-il Wins Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry

Funny story: Kim Jong-il Wins Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry

Democratic People's Republic of North Korea is proud to announce that esteemed Council for the Arts has awarded coveted Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry to Kim Jong-il for seventeenth consecutive year. Mr. Kim is well-beloved for finding inspirations...

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Tunnel Found Connecting Lobbyists to Capitol Building

Funny story: Tunnel Found Connecting Lobbyists to Capitol Building

WASHINGTON - Federal investigators have discovered a sophisticated two-mile tunnel between K Street and the Capitol. The tunnel, wide enough for two limousines, was used to funnel money and influence to and from lobbyists' offices. The D.C. Tunne...

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Wikileaks Posts Secret Hot-or-Not Ratings of World Leaders

Funny story: Wikileaks Posts Secret Hot-or-Not Ratings of World Leaders

WASHINGTON - "Angela Merkel is risk-averse and rarely creative, but get her in a strapless evening gown and she's the Bavarian Alps! And I bet she's a cougar, ready to pounce. Give her a nine." So states one of countless U.S. diplomatic cables tha...

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Body Found In Alley Behind Night Club

Funny story: Body Found In Alley Behind Night Club

ST. LOUIS, Missouri - Police report that an unidentified young male found the body of a young woman in the alleyway adjacent to the Up Beat night club. The body was that of a young unidentified female, clothed in a tight black mini-skirt and pacing...

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Vietnam Introduces "Domino Theory" of Western Bankruptcies

Funny story: Vietnam Introduces "Domino Theory" of Western Bankruptcies

HANOI, Vietnam - Government trade and finance officials are warning of a global "domino effect", where financial defaults in one Western nation would induce further defaults in neighboring nations. Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung explained, "Thos...

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Marijuana, Miley Cyrus now Legal for Recreational Use

Funny story: Marijuana, Miley Cyrus now Legal for Recreational Use

SACRAMENTO, California - Governor-elect Jerry Brown chose the occasion of Miley Cyrus' 18th birthday to declare that both Miley and marijuana are now legal for the recreational pleasure of the state's population at large. Five years ago, use of ei...

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American Author Dies Attempting British Spoof

Funny story: American Author Dies Attempting British Spoof

PICADILLY CIRCUS, London - An unidentified American tourist died today while visiting a British satirical. The bloke had just stepped from the lift coming up from the tube. He was enjoying the many colours, odours, and flavours of Picadilly when...

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North Korea Conquers U.S. during National Food Coma

Funny story: North Korea Conquers U.S. during National Food Coma

WASHINGTON - The Unites States is now under the rule of a North Korean occupation force of one million troops. In a carefully timed midnight raid, the North Korean military successfully executed Jag-eob Teulibtopan (Operation Tryptophan), easily sei...

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Lady Gaga wins Nobel Prize in Chemistry

Funny story: Lady Gaga wins Nobel Prize in Chemistry

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Lady Gaga is the recipient of the 2010 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for her work in "ground-breaking experiments and applications of the novel two-dimensional material, graphene." The chemist/musician explained, "I needed a new fas...

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Richard Dawkins was Transformed into a Metal Moth Man

Funny story: Richard Dawkins was Transformed into a Metal Moth Man

OXFORD - "Let's stick to the evidence: Yesterday morning I awoke as a winged metallic moth man; nobody knows how it happened. That is all the evidence. Everything else, including supernatural acts, divine intervention, and mothman prophecies, is w...

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Yogi Berra to Join George Bush on Book Tour

Funny story: Yogi Berra to Join George Bush on Book Tour

Baseball great Yogi Berra, author of "The Yogi Book", will join former president George W. Bush, author of "Decision Points", on a national tour to publicize their books. Mr Bush said, "Yogi was assisted by a ghostwriter, so I'm pleased to be join...

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U.S.-South Korea Joint Exercises "Provocative" says Kim Jong-un

Funny story: U.S.-South Korea Joint Exercises "Provocative" says Kim Jong-un

PYONGYANG, North Korea - A rare public statement has been given by Kim Jong-un, heir apparent to the dictatorship of North Korea. "As son of the Great Leader, I consider it my duty to learn whatever I can to aid my nation's health and physical di...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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