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Funny story: Man Wakes Up Speaking Morse Code

Man Wakes Up Speaking Morse Code

An Iraqi grandfather who went to bed suffering from a migraine was amazed to wake up speaking fluent Morse code. Babachack Al-Mahim is now left with a voice that is unrecognisable to family and friends. Doctors say he has Foreign Accent Syndrom...
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Funny story: Vicar Leads Funeral Flash Mob

Vicar Leads Funeral Flash Mob

Recently deceased Trevor Endeavor got his loved ones dancing in the aisles by putting a twist on his traditional funeral service. Fun-loving Trevor found the perfect partner to make his dreams of a Thriller-themed funeral come true - The Rever...
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Funny story: Man Has Both Legs Amputated In Revenge Wedding Prank

Man Has Both Legs Amputated In Revenge Wedding Prank

A newlywed groom woke up in hospital the day after his wedding to find both his legs had been amputated - as part of a revenge prank by the groom's brother. Plumber Sydney Squat-Thrust chopped off his brother Jarrod's legs as he slept on his weddi...
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Funny story: North Korea Declares War On Ken Barlow

North Korea Declares War On Ken Barlow

Russia has urged Ken Barlow BA (Hons) and North Korea to show restraint after Pyongyang said it was entering a "state of war" with the long-standing fictional character from the ITV soap opera Coronation Street. The belligerent declaration comes a...
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Funny story: Ireland May Leave Eurozone To Join Boyzone

Ireland May Leave Eurozone To Join Boyzone

As the eurozone debt crisis deepens by the day, speculation continues to mount that Ireland, with its spiralling debt mountain, will default on its creditors and will ultimately leave the eurozone and instead become the fifth member of Boyzone. Th...
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Funny story: Ian Beale Becomes A Sponge Cake

Ian Beale Becomes A Sponge Cake

The BBC has released a picture of EastEnders' Ian Beale looking a little worse for wear on the streets of Walford following his nightmarish transformation into a Victoria sponge cake. The café owner heartthrob disappeared from Albert Square last m...
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Funny story: Jahmene Douglas appointed as Secretary of State for Defence

Jahmene Douglas appointed as Secretary of State for Defence

X-Factor warbler Jahmene Douglas has been appointed as Secretary of State for Defence by Prime Minister David Cameron in a surprise Christmas cabinet reshuffle. Mr Douglas is thought to have impressed the Prime Minister at the annual Downing Stree...
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Funny story: Plot To Eat Rosemary Shrager In Jungle Foiled By Phillip Schofield

Plot To Eat Rosemary Shrager In Jungle Foiled By Phillip Schofield

A sinister plot by fellow contestants to eat Rosemary Shrager in the I'm A Celebrity jungle studio was foiled at the last minute last night by television personality Phillip Schofield. Viewers and Ms Shrager were left unaware of the menacing plot...
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Funny story: Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

After months of speculation the identity of the next governor of the Bank of England has been revealed as Olly Murs. George Osborne stunned the city by announcing that Olly Murs, the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009, will repl...
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Funny story: Local Tramp Pays Surprise Visit To British Troops In Afghanistan

Local Tramp Pays Surprise Visit To British Troops In Afghanistan

Local tramp and wino Solomon McGeachy today paid a surprise visit to British personnel stationed at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan. Arriving in secret and in the middle of the night, Solomon flew into the country on a morale boosting visit. The be...
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Funny story: Prince Charles To Star In New Film

Prince Charles To Star In New Film

The Prince of Wales has landed his latest film role. The 64-year-old HRH is set to play Chachi Windsor, the younger cousin of Fonzie, in the forthcoming Happy Days movie. He is said to have wowed studio bosses with his portrayal of Charlie Carb...
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Funny story: Fart Emissions Offsetting Scheme Launched

Fart Emissions Offsetting Scheme Launched

A radical fart emissions offsetting scheme was launched yesterday in central London by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and Education Minister Michael Gove. The prevention of fart fouling trading scheme or PFFTS was introduced to reduce fart emiss...
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Funny story: Campaign to Strip Savile of Name

Campaign to Strip Savile of Name

A campaign launches today to posthumously strip warped paedo Jimmy Savile of his name - and members of the public are urged to take part. The founders of the campaign believe that Savile should not be remembered as Jimmy Savile. They are instead c...
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Funny story: Lord Sugar Launches iPhone Killer, The Schmoozer

Lord Sugar Launches iPhone Killer, The Schmoozer

Lord Sugar has unveiled Amstrad's latest flagship smartphone, The Schmoozer, at a launch party in London. The phone's innovative features include: . Integral bottle opener . State of the art 2-way CB radio . Bobble remover . Make-up or shavi...
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Funny story: Ken Barlow Declared Immortal

Ken Barlow Declared Immortal

The Dalai Lama today declared Ken Barlow BA (Hons) an immortal being during a guided tour of Granada studios in Manchester. Ken was given the good news whilst filming a particularly difficult scene in The Rovers Return Inn in which he had to ask f...
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Funny story: Noel Edmonds' Beard Arrested

Noel Edmonds' Beard Arrested

Noel Edmonds' beard, Bertie, was sensationally arrested today on suspicion of inappropriate use of Just For Men. Bertie and Edmonds were recording an edition of 'Deal or No Deal' when armed police swooped on the studios. Bertie was then taken to S...
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Funny story: Street evacuated after man bores people to death

Street evacuated after man bores people to death

A street in Doncaster has been evacuated following reports of a man, named locally as Barry Bazooka, boring people to death. It is understood that Bazooka has recently returned from a two-week vacation in Florida and has been telling anyone and ev...
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Funny story: Man's lunch becomes star exhibit at Tate Modern

Man's lunch becomes star exhibit at Tate Modern

A man's hastily discarded lunch has become the latest star exhibit at the wacky Tate Modern art gallery. 'The physical impossibility of half-eaten pork pie in Tesco crisp bag' soon began to attract crowds after Dave Stench had to answer a call of...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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