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London's Burning

The heartbreaking song 'London's Burning' could become a stark reality, if the proposed firefighters' strike goes ahead on Bonfire Night this year.  The Fire Brigade Union have told firefighters not to fetch the engines on 5th November, even when...

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Romanian Children Found Working in Magical Forest

Seven Romanian children between the ages of nine and sixteen have been found working in a magical forest in Worcestershire. The children were discovered by the Gangmasters Licensing Authority (GLA), who described the situation as 'disturbingly qui...

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Patients' Anger At Being Forced To Have Swine Flu Vaccination

Patients have reacted angrily to the news that they may be forced to have swine flu vaccinations. The proposed programme will see everyone entitled to the flu vaccination being tied down and jabbed repeatedly with needles containing the H1N1 swine fl...

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Teacher Banned For Life For Being Utterly Crap

A teacher incapable of teaching stuff has been banned from teaching for life. Simon Nobody was head of business studies at a community technology college in Hungerford, despite being unable to read, or turn on a computer. His utter crapness was di...

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Research Shows That Chain Emails DO Work

Funny story: Research Shows That Chain Emails DO Work

An email survey has concluded that chain emails DO work. A survey of 75,358,502 recipients of one particular chain email has shown that the 'forwarders' of the email all received amazing stuff. The email involved in the study promises readers 25 y...

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UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

Funny story: UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

The government have proposed to implement a 'child ban' throughout the whole of England and Wales. Current laws mean that children can freely roam the streets, live in houses and flats, attend schools, play on swings and generally be a temptation to...

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Euromillions winners to remain anonymous

Funny story: Euromillions winners to remain anonymous

The winners of the £113 million Euromillions prize have finally come forward to claim their money. The winners are believed to be a syndicate of four men, who do not wish their identities to be revealed in case people insist they buy them presents.

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UK government admit to gerontophilia

Funny story: UK government admit to gerontophilia

A UK government spokesman has admitted that spending cuts aimed to hit everyone under the age of 66 were implemented because they want to shag old people.   'We want to have sex with old people' admitted a government spokesperson. 'This is why we...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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