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Condoleezza Rice to release revealing new Memoir.

The former U.S. Secretary of State announced today that she would be releasing a new memoir about her life in the white house during the Bush years. The title of the book is "Life between a Dick and a Bush." In this revealing account of the thing...

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Apple Sues Motorola, then themselves.

Apple announced today that they will be suing the cell phone maker Motorola for defamation of character after the company put out advertisements last week saying that Apples CEO was "pro choice, and had no business in Virginia government." Offici...

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BP announces new sport "Well Capping"

BP announced today that this spring they will be sponsoring a new sport. They call it "Well Capping." Officials from the companies marketing department claim that this is a twenty first century sport. "All the fun of water polo, mixed with all the da...

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Beck admits he is the son of God

After years of spreading his rhetoric on airwaves across the country, Glenn Beck finally announced on Friday that he was in fact the son of God. He stated that he wanted to keep it a secret from the rest of the world so that people did not think that...

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Oprah Cancels Book Club, Readers Outraged

CHICAGO, IL - Oprah announced today on her daily television show that she will be canceling her book club. "It is with great sadness that I am announcing the termination of this program. I feel that in this new age of technology and twitter, there is...

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Obese Woman Wins Boston Marathon

The woman known simply as B. won the Boston Marathon last week. She was diagnosed with a rare thyroid disorder that caused her to become morbidly obese at a very young age. Despite these challenges B. has managed to become the first obese person to w...

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Palin to Have New Reality TV Show

FOX announced today that former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is going to have her own Reality TV show starting later this fall. This show will be called "The Real Hockey Mom's of the Last Frontier" and will feature Sarah and all of her gir...

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Stock Market Crashes, Gets Poor Safety Rating

The National Highway Safety Commission released a report today stating that the Stock Market is "Not a safe vehicle for families." The new 2011 regulations for vehicle safety has raised the standards on safety and the stock market did not make the cu...

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Three new parties started in US

In light of the TEA party movement that has been gaining ground in the US over the last two years, three new parties cropped up over the weekend. TEA party is a semi-conservative constitutionalist organization. TEA party means, Taxed Enough Already.

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Windows Changes Name - Now Called Doors

Funny story: Windows Changes Name - Now Called Doors

Windows announced today that they are going to be changing their name in order to appeal to a broader audience and widen the market share. Windows hit the market in 1983, and since then has captured the imagination of the world with their software.

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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