After being stretchered in by dancers whilst in an egg at this year's Grammy Awards, fashion icon and sometimes-singer Lady GaGa admits that the imagination is straining for the next best thing. Speaking candidly from her home in a plated gold nut...
Long-standing and widely respected support group 'IBTC' has today recorded a 70% drop in membership, prompting a call for a mass recruitment drive. Speaking at a conference yesterday, International IBT Committee Leader Tiffany Jones blames attitud...
Highly popular yet grossly misunderstood, 'Mr. Grinch' today launched his new brand of men and women's fashion. The label, "GCUK" or "Grinch Connection Undoes Kristmas" promotes faux green fur in their line of fashion and a detest for anything rem...
WORLD WIDE- In a move to combat shoppers' complaints of stores selling Christmas related products in October and November, the heads of the major shopping centre chains have petitioned the governments of developed nations to change the holiday to Nov...
SCIENTISTS are pleading with people to exercise common sense after a sudden spike in hospital admissions were linked with canabalism. Patients were admitted into local hospitals and clinics with gashes and bite marks on arms and legs. "I unders...
Scientists in Switzerland made the shocking discovery last Tuesday that the social phenomenon of 'Mondayitis' has made its way into Tuesday. Confirmation of this was made when employees developed the telltale signs- lack of energy and increased ap...
AUSTRALIA- A leading psychologist and social expert have concluded that Australia has lost the ability to decide anything. Gordon Witherby, founder of the Institute of Modern Thought, presented his finding to a reception last night. "The 68-all...
In a controversial press conference today, CEO of Lynx deodorant, Hubert Smith, confessed that his product would not guarantee multitudes of women. This admission comes after pending class action law suits against the company by hundreds of women-...
AUSTRALIA- Lack of action and immediate medical attention in a Central Australian town last night has left one man dead and another critically injured. The two men, who were attacked by an adult fresh water crocodile, did nothing to attend to thei...
CANBERRA- Legislation has passed the Senate today, allowing for Farmville Farmers to export their crops to potential overseas clients. This legislation comes after months of protests from disgruntled Farmville farmers, or 'facebook farmers', who u...
The Cult Youtube group "Will it Blend?" has successfully blended the time/space continuum, a video which has already received more than 20 million views. The video, uploaded today, saw the Blendtec team use a strain of time and space, generously d...
A sharp rise in attendants at local horse and greyhound meets has seen the creation of over 500 new race commentators, I can report. This rise in admission has been traced back to the current Global Financial Crisis, where more and more out of wor...
SYDNEY- An 18 year old was clocked doing 50 kilometers an hour in a 50km limit street in Western Sydney overnight. Sergent Paul Lowes was shocked by the incident. "He's giving probationary drivers everywhere a bad name.' he said. "When you s...
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