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Bradley Wiggins Snubbed By the Establishment

Funny story: Bradley Wiggins Snubbed By the Establishment

With calls already for a knighthood after his exploits in the Tour de France, a shadow has been cast over sports superstar Bradley Wiggins after he was told to 'get on your bike' by members of London's elite Pickwick Club. Fresh from his victory a...

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Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

Funny story: Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today. The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...

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Man Sets Fire to Hedge 'So Fire Brigade Would Hose his Lawn'

Funny story: Man Sets Fire to Hedge 'So Fire Brigade Would Hose his Lawn'

A Dorking resident was so frustrated he couldn't water his lawn under the current hosepipe ban that he deliberately set fire to a neighbour's hedge, in the hope that the emergency services - by extinguishing it - would simultaneously water his grass.

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Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

Funny story: Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOC...

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Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

Funny story: Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

A pensioner had to be taken to hospital after they caught their testicles in a shower seat last week. Dorking fire crews were called out to the pensioner's house in Dorking on April 6th to help cut them free after getting their private parts trapp...

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Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Funny story: Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Surviving inhabitants of a Hertfordshire village bulldozed to make way for London's orbital motorway in 1973 have been given the green light to hold a reunion Diamond Jubilee street party - on the M25. The tiny hamlet of Botting was demolished and...

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Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

Funny story: Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

A local man who was reported missing four days ago has been located, "safe and unsound", after an astonishing tip-off to his whereabouts from a 'remote-viewer' thousands of miles away in the USA, say Dorking police. Paul Twist, of 23 Abercorn Stre...

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Schumacher's 200-Mile Wrong Way F1 Drive at Monza GP

Funny story: Schumacher's 200-Mile Wrong Way F1 Drive at Monza GP

The actions of a father of two who drove 200 miles the wrong way along a Monza race-track while five times over the drunk-with-power limit has been 'ignored' by race stewards. Michael Schumacher, 42, of Gland, Switzerland, performed a U-turn and d...

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Outrage as Cocks*cking is Banned in Dorking

Funny story: Outrage as Cocks*cking is Banned in Dorking

In a controversial move that is sure to arouse fierce opposition, Dorking Council have passed a motion to ban a millennia-old folk tradition amongst the inhabitants of the genteel Surrey town. "We'll take this outrageous decision to the European C...

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Key to Mystery Blonde's Identity 'Could Be Me' says James Blunt

Funny story: Key to Mystery Blonde's Identity 'Could Be Me' says James Blunt

As speculation runs rife and Britain's tabloid press outbid each other in offering huge rewards as to the identity of the mysterious 'Mystery Blonde' - who has been spotted at several English locations in the last day - singer and rhyming slang star...

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F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win

Funny story: F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win

A random urine sample taken from Sebastian Vettel less than an hour after his victory in the Valencia Grand prix has proved positive for a controlled substance. A statement reads; "As part of our ongoing policy of random drug testing a sample was...

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2012 Olympic Logo 'Still Shit' says Poll

Funny story: 2012 Olympic Logo 'Still Shit' says Poll

It was first unveiled to great controversy four years ago. It has been accused of spelling out the word 'Zion', described as a 'distorted Swastika' and 'Lisa Simpson performing fellatio'. Now, with just over a year until the opening ceremony, 99.99%...

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Disillusioned Vettel Quits F1

Funny story: Disillusioned Vettel Quits F1

[Monaco] Reigning World Champion Sebastian Vettel has stunned the Formula 1 community by walking away from the sport saying 'What's the point?'. Touted by many knowledgeable pundits as 'Schumacher but with a sense of humour', Vettel, at just 23 th...

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Masturbation 'Biggest Factor' in Elvis-style Fatalities

Funny story: Masturbation 'Biggest Factor' in Elvis-style Fatalities

Self-abuse, coffee, blowing your nose and straining to defecate could increase the risk of of a fatal stroke similar to Elvis Presley's, say researchers in Madrid. Eight risk factors were linked to bleeding on the brain. They all increase blood pr...

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Leslie Nielsen has Last Laugh from the Grave

Funny story: Leslie Nielsen has Last Laugh from the Grave

[Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.] Leslie Nielsen, the comic actor best known for his roles in Airplane! and The Naked Gun, who passed away last week, saved his funniest jokes for friends and mourners at his funeral today. Halfway through the funeral service,...

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George W Bush says UK lives 'saved by watersports'

Funny story: George W Bush says UK lives 'saved by watersports'

British lives were saved by the use of information obtained from terrorist suspects by "surfboarding", according to former US President George W Bush. In his memoir, he said the simulated drowning technique helped break plots on various targets in th...

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Electric Chairs 'Create Einsteins'

Funny story: Electric Chairs 'Create Einsteins'

[ALABAMA - PSE) After research from Oxford University scientists published this week found that applying a tiny electrical current to the brain can make people better at learning maths, evidence has now emerged from the USA that the last few moments...

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'My Art is Dogshit' boasts Damien Hirst

Funny story: 'My Art is Dogshit' boasts Damien Hirst

Notorious multi-millionaire artist Damien Hirst is making the streets and parks of London a little more colourful by painting miniature pictures on pieces of dog excrement. "My whole career has consisted of polishing turds." says Brit Art's 'Bad L...

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