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Funny story: A right Royal mess!

A right Royal mess!

Royal inbred and Prince of Darkness, Royal George, or Damien 5 as he is known by long suffering nannies, has turned 17 months of age despite all attempts by god fearing Royal staff to have him put down discretely. Wheeled out farting like a wart h...
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Funny story: Santa's coming to town

Santa's coming to town

Furious upper-class families have blasted a Laurence Llewelyn-Ballsack giant 'Magical Inner Journey' grotto as it shut after one day amid claims Santa was a boozy, fornicating bastard, elves participated in a yuletide orgy and swore at sobbing kids!...
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Funny story: It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

Due to the continuing hammering they are receiving from both Aldi and Lidl the big four Supermarkets namely, Tesco, ASDA, Morrison's and Sainsbury's are each vying for what will be left of the Christmas market once people have stocked up via their Ge...
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Funny story: In it to win it!

In it to win it!

Jails have been forced to install stairlifts to cope with rocketing numbers of pensioner prisoners since the Tories came to power it has been announced. At least 8,987 over 65's were arrested in 2013 up 34 per cent on 2009. Prison chiefs have also ha...
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Funny story: It's big down under Bruce!

It's big down under Bruce!

It's that time of year again folks when ITV, having trawled umpteen nationwide casting agencies sign up an assortment of nondescript-would-be-celebrities and allow them to jet off to the land of Oz for a few weeks to fornicate with each other. Ye...
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Funny story: "Last One Standing"

"Last One Standing"

A furious X-Factor fan slammed ITV last night after Cheryl Fernandez-Vaselini-Esperanza-Maximina's performance caused him to have a massive erection without warning! Habitual masturbator Dick Rasch, 87, suffered near blindness when he prematurely...
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Funny story: I'm long, long, long gone.

I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Funny story: The twang's the thang!

The twang's the thang!

A massive pair of soiled silk knickers once reputedly worn by Queen Victoria has sold for almost £500 an inch. The Royal underwear with a regal 52-inch waist, plus 66-inch bust chemise, sparked a fierce bidding war when they were auctioned this we...
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Funny story: Richard III - From a Jack to a King

Richard III - From a Jack to a King

According to two underworked Professors from the University of Leicester Richard the Third was not, as previous thought, run over by a Honda Civic driven by a myopic pensioner in a Leicester car park. Professors Jack Haas and Anne Teake having sp...
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Funny story: A right Royal Carry on!

A right Royal Carry on!

The news that Kate Middleton is up the duff again has come as a major surprise to the Royal household, especially Liz and Phil, the latter swearing fucking blind that he was nowhere near Kate's bedroom when she was on heat! Liz is particularly pis...
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Funny story: Come what May! British "Jihadis" Facing Terrorising Threats From Home Secretary

Come what May! British "Jihadis" Facing Terrorising Threats From Home Secretary

In a bold move designed to put the fear of Allah into any self respecting British Jihadist, notably those who have given up looking for worthwhile employment above minimum wage, Home Secretary Theresa 'don't call me Maggie'' May is planning to bring...
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Funny story: 'Yee took tha' song an made it yer aan!'

'Yee took tha' song an made it yer aan!'

Once again it's that time of the year when Britain's answer to 'The Walking Dead' begins series eleven, yes folks it's that clapped-out old chestnut, the 'Crap-Factor' the only show on earth to legally allow day release patients to run amok on live T...
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Funny story: Cop this!

Cop this!

In a last ditch attempt to totally wipe out Police credibility in the UK Scotland Yard is set to hire recruits with criminal convictions in a new drive to put 5,000 extra crooks on the street. Not any old crooks, but a large percentage of ethnic croo...
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Funny story: Would the Honourable Gentlemen please rise?

Would the Honourable Gentlemen please rise?

The Home Secretary Theresa May has stunned her Westminster colleagues having unknowingly displayed her new 36DD breast implants to both the opposition and coalition party. The normal comatose assembly of deadbeats, no hopers, kiddie fiddlers, expe...
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Funny story: Play the skin flute 2016

Play the skin flute 2016

Following on from the fantastic success of British competitors during the 2012 Games and the general euphoria throughout the nation it is hoped we can repeat these achievements in Brazil 2016. To this event (no pun intended) the International Game...
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Funny story: The Devil Pussy invades!

The Devil Pussy invades!

An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...
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Funny story: Horizontal Refreshment

Horizontal Refreshment

Sadly, due primarily to a more indolent life style, more and more British men are failing to either sexually satisfy, or get their respective partners pregnant and are generally firing blanks rather than healthy spermatozoon. Such is the seriousne...
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Funny story: My name is...?

My name is...?

Having been informed by her army of Doctors that she should 'ease' up on the numerous annual overseas holidays for fear of her long-term sidekick Phil the Greek either croaking or crapping himself midair, HRH Liz is becoming increasingly bored shitle...
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Showing page 1 (of 6 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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